| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/17/2004 2:02:32 PM | I just don't understand!! My ex and I broke up, he started sleeping with someone else and then stopped and beg me to come back. I loved him, so I did. Everything was fine. Then two weeks ago when I was at work at night, he was out with a big group of people in a limo making out with some other chick. Well I know this b/c I was waiting for him to come home on the driveway and I see this limo pull up and several of his friends and their gf's get out then he and this chick get out. Well he starts calling me names telling me to leave and I am yelling back then I see her glitter lip gloss on his mouth and I slapped him across the face. I went inside and got all of my things and left. He called me and came to my house begging and that he was sorry and I took him back again!! STUPID, I know!! So I met this guy well re-met I guess. He called me a few times and we would talk nothing serious just friendly conversation. So last night the guy called me and asked if I wanted to meet him and some friends to play pool...I was already in bed, but I told him I would think about it. My boyfriend happened to be friends with the guy's other friend whose phone was used to call me. Anyhow, my boyfriend ended up at the pool hall where the guy was and then the friend of the guy approached my bf and asked him if we were still together b/c I had been talking to this guy and we were going to hook up and we had kissed and all this other b.s. So needless to say my bf was pissed and now he refuses to believe my side of the story and never wants to speak to me again. What I don't get is why can I forgive and understand things he did that were 1000 times worse than what I did and he doesn't even want to speak to me???? | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/17/2004 2:10:16 PM | Welcome to the love affair with a jerk. This is the same thing in the forums a lot where girls dig jerks. (I should learn to be one) Men haev a tendancy to want their women all about them no matter what, and have a difficult time realising that a woman needs the same. I don't know the guy but I can only imagine he is insecure and feels that constant attention somehow makes it better.
He goes from girl to girl looking for that immediate attraction and that momentary "high" if you will of initial passion. When the girl he was with sees his true colors they bolt and so he goes back to you...his security blanket.
You know what you feel in your heart and if things will work, but maybe it is time for him to lose his blanket?
good luck hun and I know everyone here wishes you the best.
~Gotta Luv Me~
G. | |
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w8in4u
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Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 3 | |
| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/17/2004 2:24:33 PM | A friend once told me "God does for us what we can't do for ourselves".
I have the feeling that this man has you believing that this is all your fault, possibly even that somehow you were responsible for him going out on you. You mind is so confused that you are falling for the stories he's telling - he's playing you.
Back up, look around and consider the facts as you see them. I'm sure you will come to a very different conclusion.
You may not feel it right now, but you will be happy that he is gone, hopefully soon. | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/17/2004 2:37:48 PM | | Thanks for the responses guys...it's always easier said than done!! I know that this is for the best. It just hurts. It's almost time for a few beers with the girls!! | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/17/2004 6:14:22 PM | Man **** that guy. Not to mention your super hot and from listining to rave about this have a great personality to. I wouldnt be saprised to find out you can get any guy you want why settle for someone that makes you feel bad. Thats where I draw the line in any relationship that if I start to feel bad more then I feel good then its not worth it. Godd luck but please dump the loser and move on you've been more then fair and if he cant see it its not worth the effort. Also what if got somthing from one of those girls and gave it to you. Crazy sh*t happens and its not worth it for someone that makes you feel bad. Good Luck  | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/18/2004 10:01:31 AM | So yesterday he called all night and I didn't anwer until 2:15 am. He was so drunk and asking me if my "friend" was at my house and I just hung up. I should have never answered the phone!! I am just over it. It's at the point that it's just too far gone. I have weighed the good with the bad and dammit the bad wins. I do just about everything in this relationship and I get just about nothing out of it. It has been like this for way too long. Why do guys change?? In the beginning it was perfect...now it's the furthest from it. I had a great time with my girlfriends last night and I have to work tonight at my bestfriend's bar so it will keep my mind off of things!! Have a great day guys!! Thanks for the advice and support!! | |
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lsmith
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Joined: 10/31/2004
Msg: 7 | |
| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/18/2004 3:40:14 PM | | he's a cheater.. and as my grandmother would always say.. 'an old leopard never loses its spots'! Everything makes sense in your initial post that supports this. First.. he was kind enough to let you go before 'exploring' sparing you the extra hurt of betrayal. Once it didn't 'pan out' for whatever reason with this other girl, he came back .. and you took him. It's not justified in my mind, but I can see where this might have given him the impression that 'this behavior from him is forgivable'. He tested waters in the limo with his friend.. then drama.. then you get a call.. and he over-reacts. One thing is curious.. how this guy got your phone number (the one who wanted you to play pool)? Though, I believe you probably had rights at this point.. one bad turn does not deserve another - and while you hadn't actually done anything with this man.. your boyfriend knew he had increased the margin of potential by his behavior. To pack one too many cliche's into this post.. it's the theif who suspects someone of stealing.. catch my drift? If he couldn't trust himself innocently playing pool with someone else, then how in the world could it be any different for you? right? Don't let him make the decision to make a toy of you (with all this late night back-n-forthy b*llsh*t).. it's time to make YOUR decision to LET him go explore all he wants.. but he can't have both - unless you're absolutely ok with all this drama.. which I assume by your post.. you are not. | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/18/2004 5:04:23 PM | | Gotta agree. The minute he touched another woman, all bets were off. | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/18/2004 5:18:30 PM | | hey, i have to honstly say that he is an ass, and you should move on. it is hard. trust me move on, you sound like a sweety, you a total hottie thats for sure, just skip him and find some great guy. if he cheated on you once he will do it again. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 10 | |
| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/18/2004 7:06:00 PM | | my best advise is take your time.. give yourself time to heal.. in time you can look back and see things from a diffent vantage point.. right now becsue your hurt, he is on that love pedastool were your forgiving him for everything. in a sence you got your love goggles on.. i think it is wise to get others opinion on this because they have no vested intrest and can see things plainly with out the taint of love getting in the way. i bet in time you will look back and laff and say why was i so upset. he thinks he still owns you in a way.. also rember if you have mutial friends.. telling them anything is like telling him.. i would make a fresh start and look for a whole new crowd to hang with. sorry you got hurt . i have been right were your at.. i had to change my whole group of friends.. but i have better friends now. prayer are with you for your broken heart. | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/19/2004 9:55:26 AM | Thanks for all of the great advice...I have finally decided to take the "love" goggles off. I can no longer be in this relationship. I have known this for a while, like I said it is just hard. Plus I left out the details of his daughter and I being very close and that I love his family more than my own. This part is always the hardest and usually the main reason I take him back. Sad, I know! I am just going to better myself so that I can be the best ME I can be when I meet that someone special. I think the other part of my problem is that I am ready to settle down and have a family and be in LOVE!!
As far as the other guy having my number, my number hasn't changed in forever and as I said, I re-met him recently and he just called to hang out in a "friends" way.
Have a great weekend!! | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 12 | |
| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/19/2004 7:01:11 PM | | you only have great thing ahead of you.. dont look back girl.. you cant go forward if your looking back.. that does suck about the kid and the family.. it's never easy only nessasary. | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/20/2004 1:27:30 AM | I think the basic problem here is that you do not understand the concept of a paragraph.
BB | |
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| Just Not Fair
Posted: 11/20/2004 7:10:45 AM |
I have finally decided to take the "love" goggles off.
That's the tough part of a relationship, there's always a reason to stay. But is it enough.
Anyway, I'm behind you 100%. | |
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