CJ4JC
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 8/23/2005 11:11:21 AM | A few questions:
Under the religion catagory, if you put that you are a Christian...
Do you believe that sex before marriage is a sin?
If your life is surrendered to God, then shouldn't you not even be on this site because your "jumping the gun" and not waiting for Him to bring you the one He has planned for you?
Deliver me from temptation: Christians are not to date. They are to court. Meaning, the two are never in a room, in a car, or even sitting at a Starbucks without the company of fellow Christians around. So, if I meet a man for coffee....
Jesus is #1 in my life. Is He in yours? | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 8/23/2005 8:42:07 PM | CJ4JC,
Hello there, "fellow" Christian Lady! If I put I am a Christian on MY profile, Yes, I do most emphatically AGREE with you, (and also GOD & Jesus Christ), that sex before marriage is a sin! I'm looking for the "man" out there/here that is the same DEDICATED Kind of Christian I am. Do you think there are any out there? Or are we just supposed to meet them through our Congregation/Church friends?
I have to DIS-agree with you that "Christians are not to date. (Perhaps we need to DEFINE that word "date"?) you said "They are to court" that I agree with, also. But the rest of that, about "Meaning, the two are never in a room (?), (well perhaps in an apartment or house alone, yes! That's when temptation takes over) in a car(?), (What? even to the grocery store?) even sitting at Starbucks(?) WITHOUT the company of fellow Christians around. ???? That I have a few problems with, as long as you are a full grown, over, perhaps 30? year old woman. I happen to be 55, myself, and live alone in a secure building. I do NOT bring men HERE, alone, with just ME! I would also invite another couple from Church over at the same time. Thank you SO MUCH for reminding me of this.
So, in answer to your last question there, "If I meet a man for coffee....." In a public place, with lots of other people around, I personally see no harm in it, for coffee and conversation ONLY, tho!
And Yes, I AGREE 200% with you on Jesus Christ is #1 in MY life also. (Beware of timcoke on here, I know him personally, and he is NOT a true Christian, and is only "LUSTING" after women!)
As for looking for men on here. Have you ever heard the saying "God helps those who help themselves?" We are only doing the "footwork" on here, looking for mates. I'm very sure, God will let you (and me) know if a man is right or wrong for you to date. That's why the first meeting, in MY opinion, should be somewhere public, like a restaurant, for coffee and conversation.
THANK YOU FOR THIS SUBJECT!!!!! 
I can appreciate your questions. They are VERY GOOD ONES!!!
Sincerely,
ChristianLady703
Ruth
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 8/24/2005 10:39:54 PM | CJ,
Would you not consider that God is guiding you when you come here? What if "the one" is here?
Isn't meeting here just like waiting for that random accidental meeting that may never happen because your car wouldn't start, or you missed you bus?
What if this is the plan?
You are still entitled to your beleifs and your actions are your own. Something drives all of us, possibly not the same thing or beleif or supreme being. But, that's the freedom we're allegedly defending right now.
Your beleifs sound a bit more stringent than I remember in my youth, and that included friends from Catholic families, baptist being my own denomination, and later converted to LDS. It's hard to believe that there is someone even more puritanical than the mormon religion.
I think that if someone wants to look around to see who and what is out in the world beyond there immediate circle, it only aids them in possibly arranging to "bump into" that someone that could make there life complete.
A co worker of mine married a nice woman he met at match.com
They couldn't be happier and had no common friends or ways to have met otherwise.
Remember this can only get you to the first meeting and YOU have it from there, just like in real life, cuz, it is.
My humble opinion | |
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CJ4JC
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 8/25/2005 3:48:51 PM | Hi Ruth,
Do I think there are any out there? Yes I do. I have seen them at church (with their wives), heard them on the radio... I know there are at least 10. However, they are taken! 
Oh well... there has to be more, right?
I am still wondering about the courting thing. It's really for young'ins who are in school, or hang out with their youth group at church. Once past that age, doesn't seem so practicle. However, as an adult, doing everything one can to avoid a tempting situation is the main goal. Which it sounds like you are paying attention to and doing very well.
Did you know the saying you mentioned is actually not in the Bible. I didn't know that until I heard my pastor mention it in a sermon. Actually, if you think about it, it's more like, God helps those who turn to God for help. Because we are to be submitted to Him and not rely upon our own strength.
Thanks for the warning about timcoke. And thank you for your post!
Chris | |
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CJ4JC
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 5 | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 8/30/2005 9:18:21 PM | I think a lot of that courting mentality came from "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". It's a good book for kids in high school or just starting out on their own, but as a mature adult who has been on my own for a long time, mostly rubbish... I think I can handle dating on my own without a supervisor to tell us we're dancing too close or something. (the author ended up marrying his church secretary.. someone who fit the idealized proverbs woman he built up in his book, someone who certainly wasn't going to be much of a challenge to him anyway)
One must take the bible in its context of the time and customs it was written to. Sure sex outside of marriage is a sin, but so is looking at someone lustfully, and a horde of other things I probably do every day, like get mad at the bad driver in front of me or go over the speed limit. So which sin is worse? Are there some sins that are harder to forgive than others? Didn't Jesus die for all our sins equally? How many Christian women overeat (because they're repressing their sexual desires perhaps?) and therefore do not honor their temple? Tell me how that is not as bad a sin as having sex with someone when you're unmarried?
Being in this flesh in this world as a Christian isn't easy. Our bodies act like baby factories and it's tough when you're single. But these are the bodies we're given, and we have to deal with it. On the other hand, intimacy within marriage reflects the close intimacy we can have with our Lord and Saviour; the closeness that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit have.
There's a great blog that gets into philisophical issues that tear down a lot of ideas I once held as truth because they came from someone in ministry. I'd encourage you to take a look.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=WallyTarr
God bless,
R | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 9/12/2005 1:31:14 AM | What is marriage?
On an island,two christians,alone together are considered "one flesh".
Married is a legal status-"one flesh" is Christian.
So you presupose God and pc's are exclusive.My God made the brains that put the net together.Sorry yours is so small.
Christians I know love sex,as it is the Type of Christ and "called out ones".
Two Christians,engaged,stranded all night:non-sexual touch,hugs,keep warmcan't control thoughts of others.
Since 90 AD Christians have been sinning.Our forgiveness is from before time itself.
What is the least one can know to be a Christian?
To presuppose a creator and to ask the creator what'sup is all-please tell me anything else vital!
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 9/23/2005 1:49:51 PM | "Christians are not to date. They are to court. Meaning, the two are never in a room, in a car, or even sitting at a Starbucks ..."
I think you MAY be thinking of Volatile Chemicals.
Christians are human - just like anyone else.
As far as -is Sex before Marriage... of course it's a sin.
But - my sins are paid for already. I know what you're thinkin'
"Oh so just go ahead and do whatever you want - the tabs been paid?"
No of course not. What I AM saying is if people, christian or not had their poop together. There would not have been a need for him to die.
But he did... for all of us. He died, so that I could make mistakes... so that I could do stupid stuff ... so that I could choose to look around for my life partner for life where ever I happen to be. So that I could "have sex with the wrong person because my human heart mind and body took over at that critical and decisive moment" without worrying that the most beautiful moment in my life was going to send me to hell.
Now - since you're here ... on the net ... on a dating site...
I get - that you aren't pointing fingers and banging your bible.... you're asking questions.
I hope that I have at least come close to giving two cents that fit here.
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:37:44 PM | | A little off topic but i was wondering what you guys think of gays in your church? The christians in kansas protest gays at funerals of the men and women who died in Iraq and they protest at the funerals of gays that die of aids. Really they protest about anywhere they can to get the anti-gay point across. I know Washington is alot more openly gay than Kansas is, so i was kind of wondering what your opinon of gays in your church would be? Or maybe just being gay in general. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 9/30/2005 6:21:06 AM | Church is a habit/lifestyle/choice/maybe even a united gathering of similarly inclined spiritual individuals - not a building not an institution and certainly not a religious identity
I think that any church that rejects a person for ANY reason ...
missed the point of being there to begin with. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 10/1/2005 1:24:26 AM | | Very good answer. I dont believe in church myself. I see it just how i explained it...a group of people having their own idea of how it should be an shun those who dont agree. To me, church is just another sort of click, like the "in" crowd in high school was. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 10/8/2005 2:49:47 AM | Yes, I put that I'm a Christian even though I'm not religious
Christianity is NOT a religion, so it should be changed to "belief/faith"
Yes I do believe it is. I've fallen in that area but I'm also forgiven.
Yes my life is surrendered to Christ, and no I'm not jumping the gun because i'm not on here to meet anybody.
Show me in the Bible where it says Christians aren't to "date"
I want biblical proof from you, and if you can't provide it, then i ask that you stop telling other Christians what we should and should not do. You're not my judge, God is.
Yes. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 10/26/2005 8:54:19 PM | I'm going to avoid getting into semantics about what is religion and so on...
I am... out of church lutheran...
I don't think dating was ever outlined as a sin, and I can't think of any reason why it should be
Sex before marriage is a sin. Humans are sinners. Sin is forgiven if you feel remorse.
Don't take the bible word-for-word. Just have faith, and do what you think is right. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 1/11/2006 2:12:36 PM | | God did not intend for us as Christians or as humans to be alone. And I think it is silly to say that we should not be alone with the same sex. God helps those that help themselves. He did not make us robots, we have the freedom of will.Do you really think meeting for a cup of java is against His will?You would be considered an Extreme radical Christian in my oppinion. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 1/12/2006 12:09:11 PM | | In my opinion and that is all this is : I believe God Created us all equally as it says in the Bible. Therefore gay or straight all should be allowed in any church they so chose to go to. I t is appaulling to me that sociaty bars/banishes people in this day and age do to race, and sexual orientation. I am not gay but I do believe there is something wrong in America, the land of the free where gays are still ostersized> Also that it is more acceptable to be a lesbian than gay man. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 1/23/2006 12:31:50 AM | | Dear CJ, Sex before marriage will not keep you out of heaven; but taking the time to bond on a platonic level, increase intimacy and fidelity. Ok, Already! The Lord can indeed cross your path with another's; however, don't you have to "be on" a path? Are you expecting someone to come up and knock on your door? Show me scriptures where it is a sin to date. You cannot. Back in that culture courting was the custom. Jesus is number ONE in my life ~not religion, legalism, nor the doctrines of men. Blessings, Patti (a 55yo grandmother who's been around the block) | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 1/26/2006 12:28:55 PM | WOW! very good questions!
I am a Christian! BUT, I am also a man. Man by nature is sin.
I am not agreeing or diagreeing with anyones viewpoints or beliefs, but I do know that our actions will one day be examined. We are so not perfect and it is impossible to avoid sin. This doesnt mean we should go out and randomly sin just cause we can!
I dont even have the answers anymore like I once thought I did. All I really know is God loves me and loves me so much He sent His son to die and pay for my sins. The best that I can do is the best I can do. In a perfect world full of true Christians I would be married and have a happy loving family. It is not a perfect world!
Sex~ Sex is a sin before marriage but then comes defining marriage! Is it a piece of paper you go to the court house and get or is it the union of two people before God? Like I said, I dont have the answers,,, I believe it is the union of two people binding themselves together in the eyes of God. It is very unfortunate there are people out there who play upon this just to get the sex. Maybe the question should be is it wrong to trust and invest everything you are in a person?
Dating/Courting~ Words. The standards are set by the society and enviroment in which we live. Personally I am 39 years old and dont mind meeting a womans father before going out with her to spend time,,, In fact i would prefer it, BUT how many women over the age of 25 are gonna take a man home she is not involved with? At what point do you stop being aquainted and start seeing one another? At what point do you stop seeing one another and start dating? At what point do you stop dating and start courting? Marriage is the only binding society actually sees the crossing over! So if you are gonna burden yourself with the question of dating and all of the nuances, well, that is a peace you will have to find through God alone! | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 7/13/2006 3:49:06 PM | | hi , i read your message and it sounfs like your a little undecided any maybe a little uninformed about sexual sin . for me it's clear , no sex of any kind w/ out being married to me is sexual sin . what i learned by reading the bible and from my pastor was the same . god bless you for seaching for the correct answers , i suggest you pray that the holy spirit will tell you the truth instead of making up the rules as you go , can be very dangerous. please don't take this personally i will say a prayer for you god bless you , michele your sister in christ p.s. i have delt w/ a lot of sexual sex and still am that's why i responded if you can pls. say a prayer for me , thanks | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 12/1/2007 5:36:46 PM | It is plainly obvious to me that all of you are unfamiliar with the Bible or what it is, let alone Christianity. If Christ is the measure of Christianity for those who use His name (and if He isn't, I can't imagine why anyone would use the term), then there certainly is a lot of counterfeit Christians walking around. Leaning upon your own wisdom (that is living "up" to the standards of your own opinion) is the very definition of folly in the Bible.
Anyone can have an opinion, and anyone can live "up" to their opinion. What the hell does that mean?!! Defining your own measure of right and wrong, and proudly attaining to it is the very definition of self-righteousness. True Christianity is understanding and living up to God's standards of righteousness.
If you want to know what the "Christian" stand on "gays" (sodomites) is, then check it out in the Bible. Take a look at Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and Romans 1:26-32. If you want to know the Christian standard on sex and marriage, try enlightening yourself with Deuteronomy 22:22-29.
If you are not interested in what the Word of God has to say, then don't call yourself a Christian. It confuses the ignorant and disgusts the rest of us. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:43:43 PM | | "Best of Friends", It is plainly obvious to me that you are unfamiliar with the history, circumstances, & audiences to whom the letters of the Bible were directed. You take the verses out of their original contexts. For example, the book of Leviticus was directed to Jews who were still held under Rabbinical law. My God is a kind, loving God. His followers are to be kind, loving people, Not judgemental, accusing people. | |
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| questions for Christians (that I have asked myself)
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:45:04 PM | Perhaps the poster (best of friends?) who quoted Leviticus could enlighten me. As I look over those verses they deal with extra-marital sex, not pre-marital sex. How do you interpret these scriptures to say that pre-marital sex is a sin in God's eyes? I just don't see it in there. They deal with sex between a married woman (or betrothed) and a presumably unmarried man and the sin appears to be in the fact that one is breaking a promise, not in the act of sex.
Is it possible for some beliefs (eg. premarital sex is wrong) to become ingrained in your value system (and mind)? To the extent where you are confused about where they come from? Is it possible that this belife comes from sources other than the Bible (your parents, church, friends, etc.)? I was raised to believe the same way, so in some sense I direct these questions at myself. I haven't reached any satisfactory answers myself though. Have you? | |
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