| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 3:31:02 PM | As a member of other dating sites that POF, I've noticed an insane number of profiles where the woman requests that her potential suitor has N amount of money, often something obscenely high (50, 75, 100k), often double or triple what she actually makes. But when someone like me, with a paltry but very livable salary, comes knocking, that is one of the reasons for rejection. The other is looks, but I'm happy with who I am. Too bad she's looking for her Matt Damon or whoever the hottie Hollywood hunk is this week.
Why should my livable, yet low, salary be determinate of finding a relationship? Why should a man be rejected because he makes a certain amount? | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 3:46:18 PM | | Not surprised…one of the first things most shallow women ask is “what do you do for living?” You are right… that is what qualify you as a potential date or not….how much you make. But for the real ladies that is not important. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 3:50:04 PM | I've never seen a profile yet that dictated a man must make $$.
However I have seen some rwquesting he MUST be of European descent, must be tall dark and handsome.
Could you truly ever be happy with a (wo)man like this?
I think not. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 3:53:21 PM | | Rock, there is not a damned thing wrong with you or your looks. If women base their notions of finding a man in direct relation to what their income is, they are gold brick losers. Keep your pride, and stick with women who value you for your heart and soul rather than what money you make. That is sick, selfish thinking of anybody to base a relationship on filthy lucre. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 3:54:39 PM | | readytorock there are many women/men who are use to living a certain life style and won't settle for anything less. this is the one thing they enjoy most about choice. not that you wouldn't be an honest and faithful husband. you just can't give them what they have grown accustom to. big fancy house and fancy cars. they are worldly people and all about material things. you would not be happy with someone like this any way. so be thankful they are not interested in you. cause those type people are never truly happy any way. for those that have everything, they just want more. they are never satisfied. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 4:06:50 PM | The last few dates that I've been on have been with hippie free loving types of woman.
No car, no money, part time job and a bus pass. They all have dreams but for the most part their dreams are to save the world and a few trees in the Congo.
As for wanting that in my life I don't think so!
The other week I spent the whole day with this woman and we drove to Weaver Lake, a long trip! She asked me how much gas I put in the tank on the way back and I told her the trip was 85 bucks. She looked at me and said *Is that a lot of money?* lol!
Anyways the answer to the question is yes there are people out there that won't get too serious about others that don't make good coin.
I busted my ass for what I have and I don't need a third wheel..........I have an ex! That's bad enough! lol! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 4:34:45 PM | gee biz, what were you expecting in return for gas fare? Shouldn't all this have been cleared up before you left the gas station?
granted yes, that IS a lotta money....but I still missed out on your point....
Maybe a background search (personal of course) is in order BEFORE you leave town..
PS Did ya get any?? (gas money, that is) HAHA | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 4:44:09 PM | Sal your question has me confused??? I took her out for fun and I knew she had nothing before I hopped on the ferry to see her. And no I didn't ask for gas money...like what's 85buxs? Nothing in my mind, hell I even bought her lunch and drinks at the end of the night.
Oh and yes I did get some action! I'm not that stupid! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 4:58:20 PM |
one of the first things most shallow women ask is “what do you do for living?”
However, just because a girl asks this question doesn't mean she is shallow. I always ask people this question when first getting to know each other (male or female, whether dating or not) to find out their interests and give us something safe to discuss. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 4:58:33 PM | The salary level isn't important to me but what is, is that the person do the best they can at the best job they can get....
Working to improve themselves and their lot in life everyday...
It can be to become a better read person
A person of skill with his hands (not sexually!) wait...ya'll know what I mean!
I learned how to weave fabric...there's an example!
To be satisfied with what you have doesn't mean to never work towards having something better or gaining in one area or another of your life or yourself. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:27:36 PM | I don't have a great salary (small town), but due to a windfall, I am able to blow and go a bit more.
But Momma raised me to be frugal - she was born in 1912 (yes she was ancient when she gave birth), and the great depression did leave an impact on her. She passed down some basic life rules that I have to live by regardless of the monies available.
So, if my man is rich or not, is not the point - I prefer watching sunsets and cruising half-price bookstores more than dropping big bills for an overpriced meal.
I think that the women I know who are looking for a man with money are not satisfied with other parts of a relationship. They haven't found the wonder and awe of kissing the right guy. They probably don't laugh much. They feel the need to "show off" their rich catch. They don't like to work or find it rewarding. They probably don't even like sex and really don't with the guy they want for his money. Whew, sorry guys!
Guess it goes both ways too. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:32:52 PM | Look, all I'm saying is that as you personally improve yourself your income potential increases in most job areas.
You become more qualified for more levels of authority within any given company. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:37:08 PM | | I don't care how much money someone makes because I live in a perpetual state of "broke as a joke". If I do ask someone what they do for a living, it's because I am genuinely interested in their line of work. With the profession I am in, I like to see if what we do all day is going to mesh, or if he's going to come home complaining about something so logical that it's beyond me. (In other words, I don't care if he makes a fortune as a nuclear engineer -- if he's too logical for my illogical, playful nature, we won't really connect.) | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:40:41 PM | Hot: I agree - and am trying to sell the house and move, so that I can return to a better income.
I too always ask what a person does for a living - I find it interesting. I always ask my better half how his day went (works with kids) because I really want to hear about it.
I have a friend who is a millionaire (and available), but he is naturally looking to better himself with a woman who is also quite well off. His last marriage was boring and un-loving and I am afraid for him that he's going to get right back into the same thing.
He hasn't left himself open to the option of "falling in love".
I'd rather be crazy like a loon in love, living in a modest home, than have a mansion and a cold fish. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:45:59 PM | ^^^^^ Totally understand HotBush
I am a very independant who buys herself what she wants. I don't need a man or anyone else to do that. I have 3 daughters and taught them all the same thing, the only one you can/should depend on is yourself. That way, you have the best you can offer to any relationship.
As far as how much my partner makes? Like HotBush pointed out, its all about living to your personal potential. If you "settle" for less than your capable of, then your doing me AND yourself a disservice in the relationship. By the way, this holds true for BOTH sexes. Does that mean you have to be a CEO or make 6 figures a year? Hell no, the world even needs tree huggers BIZ Its about the "core" and being true to it. And the rest of us, makes our decisions on being true to our own. Unfortunatly, you can't count on them all being pure. We spend years, piling on the crap, till we become superfical, and things like money and "things" become what its all about,,
Now, if you'll excuse me,,I'm goin fishin,, | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:54:27 PM | In this corner is "Looks" and in this other corner is "Money". Now, which will win out? Neither - why? Because looks and money are easy come and easy go. When man and woman were created, our creator had a sense of humor. He humored men to look at beautiful women as potential mating material. He humored women to look at wealthier men to be better providers for a the children.
Fast forward to 2005 - women are more independent, or at least some of us are. Therefore, we are choosier in our mates, we can marry a Teacher, a Social Worker, a Doctor, or an Attorney or any man in between. We do prefer that he has a job and basically is stable financially. There is a difference between "pseudo rich" and one who is stable financially. Women will look towards their potential mates from an emotional standpoint (which may/may not include financial means), then to the outer package. A wealthy man doesn't guarantee that a relationship can be sustained. Oooh let's take a look at Donald Trump.
Take a giant step back and men are still stuck in cave man's days is they are visually stimulated first. However, there is deception there - while it may seem the attractive woman may get the men, doesn't mean she can sustain a relationship. Let's take a look at some of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood.
Bottom line - if you are soley into money or looks, you've lost at the game of love! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 5:58:27 PM | | I started to read the replies to this thread and then stopped myself before I stifled myself. Heck yeah it matters how much money you make. I suppose if you're in your early twenties and going to school or something that would explain low income. But for me...I'm not going to lug around someone that's uneducated and/or can't make do. To each his own and for me...I'm certainly not looking for a Sugar Daddy but I'm surely not going to date a lazy bum either. Ambition and fortitude are good enough for me and they are required in any mate of mine. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:09:18 PM | | once again coming down to one thing. individual choice. we all have that ability to pick who we want to live with and how we want to live. i've not heard too many people say i'd live in a cardboard box as long as he or she loved me. | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:12:39 PM |
i've not heard too many people say i'd live in a cardboard box as long as he or she loved me
But then she finds a guy at the next dumpster over that has a better shopping cart! Never lower yourself for anyone! | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:18:55 PM |
Hell no, the world even needs tree huggers BIZ Its about the "core" and being true to it
I agree with you on this, I'm a freaking tree hugger and I support it but yet I don't make it my life. Hell I use wood in my business and I waste lots of it! lol!
Yes it's about the core and that's the most important thing about a person but yet there is a point where two must work together for the things that make life better.
Like who the hell wants to carry the weight of a person that says *would you like to biggie those fries today* | |
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| Should salary determine relationships?
Posted: 8/23/2005 6:21:16 PM | I work for Walmart, I'm not a greeter, you know the guy who moves the shopping carts in the parking lot? I help him. Man I get lots of chics, well mostly the ones that are mad about the shopping carts hitting their $50,000 suv's.
Hmmm guess I don't get much action.
ot:if a woman askes me how much I make I say don't let the door hit you in the asss on the way out. | |
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