| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:20:55 PM | *So why are women the ones who go through childbirth?
--> Because it hurts and they deserve it...
*Why don't I trust women?
--> I dont trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:27:31 PM | | women are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:30:40 PM | How can you tell that a woman is going to say something intellegent?
It begins with, "a man told me"........
Why do women have smaller feet?
To be able to stand closer to the sink.
How do you fix a womans watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the stove.
How do you fix a dishwasher?
Tell her to get back in the kitchen.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. The beotch should have opened it up when she brought it to him.
What do you do if your wife comes in the living room and starts beotching?
Make her chain shorter.
Whats the difference between a BJ and a paycheck?
After you marry a woman she will still blow your paycheck.
Why do women have arms?
It took to long to lick the floor clean.
Why do stores have shopping carts?
To teach women to walk erect.
What to you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, she was already told twice.
What do you say to a woman with small boobs?
Nothing.
Why did cavemen drag the women into the caves by their hair?
Because if you drag them by the feet it fills them up with dirt.
Why do women have their vagina and butthole so close together?
So you can carry them like a six pack. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 7:54:02 PM | Men are like horoscopes.....they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like chocolate bars....they are sweet, smooth and usually head right for your hips.
Men are like like coffee....the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night.
Men are like laxatives....because they irritate the sh!t out of you.
Men are like high heels...they are easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like bicycle helmets..handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like blenders...you need one, you're just not quite sure why.
Men are like commericals....you can't believe a word that they say.
Men are like government bonds...they take so long to mature.
Men are like lava lamps...fun to look at but not all that bright.
Men are like used cars...both are easy-to-get, cheap and unreliable.
Men are like popcorn..they satisfy you, but only for a little while. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 9:51:45 PM | ok it's bad but I can't help it I LOVE this one!
Wht do women have 2 sets of lips?
So we can pi$$ and moan at the same time!
Yeah Yeah, I know......I still think it's FUNNY! | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/25/2005 9:54:45 PM | This one IS funny:
Why did cavemen drag the women into the caves by their hair?
Because if you drag them by the feet it fills them up with dirt. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/26/2005 1:50:49 AM | what do woman and hurricanes have in common?
When they come they are wet and wild.
When they leave they take the house. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/26/2005 5:02:50 AM | [what do woman and hurricanes have in common?
When they come they are wet and wild.
When they leave they take the house]
LOVE IT!!!!! I am having a hurricane RIGHT NOW!
Am not cumming but I am breathing hard!  | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/26/2005 9:54:59 AM | Why is it take more time for a woman to pee in the morning?
Have you ever tried to pull a grilled cheese sandwich apart? | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/26/2005 4:45:52 PM | Whats the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
---> When you smack the mosquito, it stops sucking! | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/28/2005 11:07:58 PM | What is the dumbest part of a man?
His**** because it's got no brains, it's best friends are nuts and it lives next door to an ***hole | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/29/2005 2:01:10 PM | Great reasons to be a man.
The world is their urinal.
Weddings just plan themselves.
A man never has to goto another gas station because this one is just too icky.
A man doesn't give a rats a.ss if nobody notices their new haircut.
If men retain water it's in a canteen.
Men can be the president.
The garage is all theirs.
Men have nothing to fear about hot wax.
Their butt never comes into play in a job interview.
They don't have to goto sleep next to a hairy a.ss.
Men can fart out loud and then laugh about it.
Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:42:40 AM | what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
-Nothing, you already told her twice
how many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
-who the hell cares! the beotch can cook in the dark | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/2/2005 9:35:38 AM | How can you tell the blonde has a blonde boyfriend?
Enlarged belly button. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/3/2005 8:11:13 AM | Q:what dose a women do when she comes back from a batterd wives meeting?
A:The dishes if she knows whats good for her
Q:Why do women have small fett?
A:so they can stand closer to the sink | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/3/2005 10:12:08 AM | what do women and banks have in common?
you lose intrest everytime you withdrawl... | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/3/2005 10:31:22 AM | how do you make a hormone?
smack her in the a$$
get it, hormone, whore moan.....haha. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/3/2005 12:27:44 PM | what do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?
smack her
how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
hand the beotch a shovel.
why do women blow up when on their periods?
because that is not a fuse and you are not supposed to light it.
how do you make your wife scream twice?
bone her in the A$$ then wipe your penis on the drapes. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/5/2005 9:17:48 AM | Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions.
Why did God put men on earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.
What do a vagina, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Why are men and spray paint alike?
One squeeze and they're all over you.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why is food better than men?
Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, men will screw anything.
Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So oxygen can get to their brains. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/6/2005 9:24:18 AM | Why are women like y-fronts ?
Because men don't care what they look like as long as there is a hole for the penis.
Why are women like hair-dryers ?
If they don't blow whats the point of keeping them. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/6/2005 9:55:58 AM | | Women are like dog turds...the older they get the easier it is to pick them up. | |
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| sexist jokes (all in fun)
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:12:36 PM | How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
NONE, they never get to keep the house! | |
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