| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:42:16 PM | I've always thought not......and when anyone has ever asked, I've always stated that I have never been married. I never walked down that isle....I never wore the dress, nor had the ring...
And yet in a conversation with a friend, she stated that I had *indeed* been married, because I had lived with 2 separate men, on 2 separate occasions......one for 4 years, the other for 2.5 years.
we were never engaged, and never got *married*....and yet she disagrees....and states that I've been married twice.
I understand the legal implications of what it is that she's stating....common law *is* marriage in one sense....but is it *really*??
This came about because my friends love to tease me about my commitmentphobia, and my issues around getting 'married'. (The thought makes me want to hyperventilate and suck my thumb in the corner). But than one piped up with, "Well, you've ALREADY been married twice.....the ring and the dress mean nothing."
Is she right? I don't *feel* like a twice over divorcee!! | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:44:02 PM | No, you weren't.
Common law is still viewed differently in the eyes of the government and most definitely in society and church.
If what she says were true, I've been married as well and I not for one minute consider myself a divorcee, lol. | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:50:48 PM | | Unless you went through the legal process and got that little piece of paper.....NO, you are not married.....Lots of people have long term relationships....that doesn`t make you married!!!! That makes you in a long term relationship!!! | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:51:14 PM | ^^^True (aimed at Babylonia's post)
and, Common law marriage isn't as automatic as most people think it is. It (in most states anyway) requires that the couple actually present themselves as husband and wife.
Common law marriage laws were originally enacted to prevent a woman from being left destitute when the guy up and decided to bolt for whatever reason. Back then there was much greater disparity in abilities to provide between the two sexes. Nowadays the gap has closed considerably (yes I know it still exists- spare me the flaming)
anyway- Common law marriages are rarely recognized today since the need has lessened and marriage no longer equates to the legitimacy of a couple as it once did...
Welcome Palimony-lol | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:55:08 PM | | Canadian Hottie, some might try to imply you were "legally" married in a broad sense, but the actual vow and sacred committments to live until death do you part was never part of your arrangement. So in that sense, I don't regard you as "married", but simply living together like pals. Whatever the relationship entailed, I don't think you were officially married, no. Anyway, don't be concerned with what others think about YOUR life and choices. It's none of their damned business to tell you anything other than their own speculative thoughts. Hell, we all die, so who cares about silly shyt like this? Hardly worth the damned argument. | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 5:55:52 PM | If you're referring to Common-Law marriage, the requirements vary greatly from state to state. Even so, most states require that you 'agreed' to be married, and you declare publicly that you are married. Canada does not recognize common-law marriage.
This link gives you a breakdown of each state's common-law marriage requirements:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:00:13 PM | hottie, it all depends on which state or province you live in. some places it's 7 years. as far as the church is concerned, your not married. who knows, maybe your friends are just trying to get you over your phobia. i wouldn't worry about it though. one day that special someone will come along and you'll forget all about hyperventilating. i believe that true love can overcome any obstacle. | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:08:20 PM |
This came about because my friends love to tease me about my commitmentphobia
Yet you have have lived with one guy for 2.5 years and one for 4?
This goes back to that "the relationship is finer until it is branded a relationship" thing!! | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:10:34 PM | Ok, I guess this thread will end very quickly, as everyone is typing the same thing....
Is anyone going to give a different perspective? | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:13:26 PM | | What? All the posters agree? This might be the seventh sign of the apocalypse............. | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:14:04 PM | Yes frrosty, seems a bit ludicrious doesn't it? I can handle the LTR...but seem to choke on the word "marriage" or "commitment".....as long as one foot remains out the door right...?
I agree with everyone's perspective...thanks for reaffirming, that I am indeed *single-never married*. Not sure why that was so important to me.....but thanks.. | |
|
| Have I been married??
Posted: 8/25/2005 6:19:31 PM | common law, in the eyes of society, is as good as marriage, but in the eyes of God its NOT. After all, in a real marriage, God is witness.  | |
|
Home
login 
