| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:30:41 PM | Ok this is one that I just have to know about. How many girls / guys out there have been involved with someone - who you maybe met from a "site" such as this... and you notice that they continually still log in to the site after you have somewhat comitted to one another....
What is this about???? Now I know you are going to say - well how would you know that they have been logging in unless - well you were logging in ... but truthfully ... I only log in to see if they have been in.... I could see where this is going to possibly go in circles...
But I especially would like a man to answer this question for me....
When you find a woman who you have been dating and you profess to love them and want to spend the rest of your life waking up beside them ... why ... oh please tell me why...would you continue to go "online"?
Please shed some light on this for me!
 Thanks! | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:33:51 PM | I wouldnt mind. Lots of folks come on here to just chat.
But shoot, How long have they been together? If you are talking 3 dates, then big deal. If you are talking a committed relationship after 6 months then still big deal. Ya cant do anything about it anyway. Free will, ya know
Might as well make the most of their time together when they are together, and not worry about each other when they are apart. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:45:16 PM | because its tantalizing to see who sent mail and because as long as someone has an active profile...there is interest to find out whats going on in the world you have removed yourself from.
or perhaps they are simply posting in forums??? | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 8:48:28 PM | I think this can become an addiction if people aren't careful. I know I won't be here once I'm in a relationship. It's just not something I'd want to waste my time on, I'd be spending time with my s.o. instead.
For now, this makes a decent replacement for that but it's not conducive to a healthy relationship if I'm on here talking with single people all day. There is a time and place for everything...I just don't feel this is the place for me to be when I'm in a relationship. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 9:58:31 PM |
I just don't feel this is the place for me to be when I'm in a relationship
Amen to that. I've been out on a few dates and before I was even home from dropping them off , they were back online. And in one short term relationship she actually lied and said she wasn't on, but was and pretending to be someone else.
I think that the internet dating thing is a tad too addictive that once you DO find someone, you still don't get it out of your system. "What is someone BETTER is out there?"
I am more than happy (and do) give up the sites but the women thus far, have not.
Sometimes you just have to know what you want and go for it... and put the others aside. Worse case you split up and you can always go back to the internet. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:11:35 PM | My fella and i use this site to e mail while at work.He can't dl messenger at work.We also like the forums.I will reply to mail,however nothing flirty(uh huh).He won't,he ignores all mail.
We trust each other and most chix are afraid of me,if they go after my fella im takin em down.JOKINGGGGG. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 1:43:53 AM | Hmmm I have to say that I think lots of folks just come to chat or read and post on the forums.... There has to be trust in your relationship or you have nothing... Could be also that you are thinking commitment more than he is for a variety of reasons... Best thing you can do is to ask him directly.
Point is you cannot dictate to another what they should or should not do, but if you are not comfy with the continued online stuff by your partner and it is going to make you crazy than you need to move on.
I have met someone I really care about, but his life is very busy and we don't see much of each other. I am still looking to meet other people as friends etc so yes I am still online. He also looking to meet new friends and so is still online. If we meet someone better suited then so be it we will be friends. If we end up together that is great but building that kind of connection takes time. With that in mind, my thought is just enjoy the time I do spend with this person and let things unfold naturally without the pressure.
Cat | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 3:56:52 AM | What's "somewhat committed" ?
As in "Your search is over for I have arrived !" or "Hey there, are you going to take the kids to school, remember to pick up milk on the way home, and maybe MARRY ME !!!" ?
Just need to clarify here. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 5:33:02 AM | | When I`m in a committed relationship, I don`t GIVE UP MY FRIENDS!!!!!!! If my partner asked me to stay off POF, that in fact, would be what he is asking me to do!!!!!! If a person is soooo insecure and knows so little about me.....I wouldn`t be in a relationship with that person!!!! I don`t cheat and if chatting with friends on POF bothered my SO...that would be their problem, not mine!!!!! | |
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kce33
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 8:31:01 AM | monkey
hope you can understand this.. but i have made some great friends on here, we talk and mail off and on all day, none of us is ever going to meet unless a friendship was to turn serious, we aren't looking for sex or other get togethers... some of us are in relationships but talking with our friends does not pose any threat to any of us..
it would be an awful lonely life if people in a relationship had to give up there friends because they have someone..
i cannot understand why everyone always wants to think the worst about what people do..
it seems to me that there is alot of insecure people out there.. they don't do anything or have friends so they don't want anyone else to do or have them..its so sad
have a f-----g  | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 10:20:19 AM | | I know they do. I had a b/f who was going out with this girl from Pennsylvania and he's like well don't worry about her cuz its not like I"m going to see her anyways. After a while he stopped talking about her so I assumed he dumped her well no instead he dumps me before he goes and sees her. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 11:48:03 AM |
What is this about???? Now I know you are going to say - well how would you know that they have been logging in unless - well you were logging in ... but truthfully ... I only log in to see if they have been in.... I could see where this is going to possibly go in circles..
Yes this is a circular thing here, I see two things here.
1. If your trying to commit to this relationship, why don't you change your profile to say as much, you know things like marital status could be dating, what your looking for could be friends? That way when he logs in he won't think your still looking!
2. You say your just logging in to check on him, why? You don't trust him? Why not just ask him? maybe your thoughts on where the relationship is are not the same as his? | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 11:02:24 PM | | Actually I am not in a relationship right now... I have been recently and it was an issue while we were dating. It was not this site is was another site. The man I was involved with had been talking marriage. The site did not have forums - and really was geared towards dating - not just making friends with people..... hopefully that clarifies the situation. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/1/2005 11:16:54 PM | | Smart move to drop his sorry ass. If I was involved with a woman and it was a commitment, and she was loggin on to a dating site I'd drop her right away. There is no need to be on a dating site if you are inovled bottom line. Some people like the open relationship thing but I'm more old fashioned and I'd like it to be my partner and I and nobody else. So there is no need to look online and you did the right thing. | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/3/2005 11:09:43 AM | | This happened to me recently. We agreed to not look until we searched out the possibility of it working between us and a few days later I see a few more women added to his so called friends list on another sight. Then when I told him that made me feel lousy, he told me I am insecure and should trust him. Yea...right | |
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| People who are in a relationship - still looking online....
Posted: 9/3/2005 11:22:59 AM | This happened to me on another site without forums. I basically spelled it out for him that the relationship wasn't going anywhere if he was still looking. I didn't need the dark cloud hanging over my head that he was always looking for something better.
He is now seeing (and sleeping with) someone else - and still active on that other site, in fact even contacted a friend I know about meeting. So I can only feel grateful that I never let the relationship progress to that point. | |
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