| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/23/2004 3:18:09 AM | Guys, don't let me down with this one, but I do need advice and opinion.
I split from my partner after 5 great years, this was not a mutal thing but she decided she wanted more out of life and that I didn't fit into the grand scheme of things.
That was almost five months past, she called me at the weekend ( We talk on and off ) to say that she had met another guy and that she wanted to tell me rather than hear it from friends.
I thought that I was getting "there", and was moving forward however I an back at square one, I am gutted by this, I didn't ever think we would get back together but still it hurts.
How long does it take to get over your "true" life partner?
Cheers guys. | |
|
RobD20
|
Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 2 | |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/23/2004 2:06:15 PM | It's all about mental programming. Basically, when you are with a woman for a long time, your mind associates her as your mate. Naturally, if your mate is 'taken', even if you don't want her, by another male - your not going to feel well. The longer you were with her, the longer it takes to de-program your brain.
The same thing happened to me. My ex got another boyfriend and told me about it, and deep in my gut I felt sick, yet my logical brain didn't understand why. It's really, really wierd, but you just need time. Don't let this bother you, and it will pass. | |
|
SokoS
|
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 3 | |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/23/2004 5:53:12 PM | There's really no set time to get over the person. What I was advised of doing is to just keep busy and don't give your mind time to think about the past. My situation was somewhat different because she dumped me for the guy. It took me almost 7 months to completely get over her, but I had help in a friend who I got together with who was also going through a breakup of her own.
It will eventually pass, don't worry too much about it. | |
|
anchi
|
Joined: 6/16/2004
Msg: 4 | |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/23/2004 8:24:44 PM | i went throught the same thing actually. dated the guy for over four years and he left me for someone else "Wanted to try new things".
it has been over a year, but i saw them out shopping the other day(thank God they didn't see me). i thought i was going to have a heart attack. the anxiety overwhelmed me. i thought i was over it but obviously not.
i don't think that you ever get "over" your true life partner, you just try to learn to live without.
good luck to both of us... | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/24/2004 5:14:27 PM | | My last relationship lasted 8 years, and took me 18 months to lick my wounds. I refrained from dating men until my head was together, and concentrated on *self-first." One morning I just woke up and wondered why in the hell I was crying over someone who was not crying over me. The rest is history. | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/24/2004 6:39:03 PM | | The some thing happened to me, split 3 months ago and now she is with someone eles. It is very hard but you and I will get over it. It takes time. Keep your self as busy as posiable it helps. | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/25/2004 5:32:07 PM | I'd like to know myself! I'm going on 15mnths and I'm still tore up as f*k! We share very simular stories from the sounds of it. It was just over 5 yrs as well and I also consider(ed) her very much my 'life partner'. This has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It's crazy how someone else out there seems to have been goin through the exact same thing as I when it felt like I was alone in this 'hellish nighmare'. Well, my two cents worth is I don't think one can ever truely get over their life partner. I'm pretty sure I'll be nursing this wound for the remainder of my life. Hopefully I'm wrong.
 | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/25/2004 7:09:28 PM | Well lets see, to get over a true life partner? Probably never, just learn to cope with it. My husband was killed in a motorcycle crash 3 yrs back and I am never going to get over it, just have to deal because I have no other choice. It seems like getting away from the person if they are still living helps because you don't know who or what they are doing.
Chalk it up to the fact that that person who has hurt or just doesn't care for you the way u do them, is not worth the time of day anyway. Easier said than done, yes I know, but we are all stronger than we think. Onward and upward i like to say. good luck on keeping it real! | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/25/2004 9:21:23 PM | w/up dude, been there myself. 5yrs together and things never seeemed like they would get better. to tell you the truth the only real releafe i found was working on my self. I had to get healty for me and no one else. its taken 2 and a half years and i still think about her and what she may be doing but im thankful evey day that we split for it gave me a chance to really go after what i wanted in life and its become clear now that she was not the girl i would of wanted to spend the rest of my life with unless she had made some serious change to hers. So the best advice i can give ya really is just to cut all ties w/her thats when u will start to heal, at least untill your stronger because to tell ya the truth there ia nothing less attractive to a girl then a heart broken guy w/low self esteam. Also try picking out some reasons she may not of been the one for ya ,And trust me dude you will start to see the beauty in other girls soon. O yea a rule of thumb is it takes about half the time you spent together to heal from true love.
Hope ya feel better T
reply if u wish | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/25/2004 10:49:19 PM | | i wish i knew i have split from my wife of 16 years and i thought we were the perfect couple we never fought and did everthing together theni had a couple of strokes and she wantd out so she just walked it has been a year now and she is still here in my heart that knid of love takes a long time i saw her the other day and she looked better than ever lost about 75 pounds and now is trimmer than i ever saw her she has found a new guy he is from autralia and he may just be using her to get here good luck hope things turn out good for you | |
|
| |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/27/2004 12:22:37 AM | The basic formula is 2 months for every year together. So, if you were together for 5 years, you're looking at a 10-month recovery time.
BB | |
|
Tayven
|
Joined: 11/11/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/27/2004 1:01:23 AM | Hey bud. It's a tough thing to get over one you love. In fact, you probably will never completely get over her. I still to this day love every girlfriend I've had. (the serious ones) Not in a bad way, you get over it, you have to...no matter who breaks up with who, you still need to accept it. I'm still friends with most of them, but the love is different, more of a caring friendship. The time-frame is different for all of us. But I will say this, you'll find another love and get that fresh feeling again. You'll still love her, but when you see her it won't be a painful love... Will be more of a caring friendship kind of love "how you been, how's your new relationship... Well that's how it's been for me. Hang in there, everything always works out if you stay positive.
Tayven, | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/27/2004 3:16:05 AM | | well i dont know how long it take for the guys to get over a break up.but i broke up with a guy 10 months ago . its just now getting to where it dont hurt.he flound a gal on the net and has been living with her now for 8 months.that hurt some what, especially after i found out she is younger then i.but when i found out thats she is ugly and weighs 300 pounds.so that did help.he said it was over for him the minute i left...so maybe its less time for guys to get over it then it is for women.... | |
|
anchi
|
Joined: 6/16/2004
Msg: 15 | |
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/27/2004 7:28:26 PM | I know that I answered to this post before, but seeing how that I just saw the man that I at one time viewed as my "true" life partner, I thought I would again respond.
I don't think that you get "over" the person that you regard as your life partner.
Everytime,I see this man, my heart aches and memories rush into my mind. I remember all the things that he said to me and how special I felt at the time we were together, and all the pain of being without him comes back to me in a flash.
I am at a loss of words as to how to describe the feelings.
He never did anything really wrong to me, only gave me good things and good feelings, and I think that is why it is soo difficult to leave the past in the past.
Will I ever get over him, no, but in alot of ways I don't want to. I just want to be able to love the time we were together and learn not to morn the loss of all those feelings. | |
|
| How long does it take.................
Posted: 11/27/2004 8:37:01 PM | | The time it takes differs from person to person. I was married for 19 years when my wife asked for a divorce. Two years later, it still grates on my gizzard. While I've moved on considerably, there's still some pain and resentment. I don't think one ever entirely gets over the loss of someone they love. You just pick up the pieces and move on. The pace is up to you. | |
|
Home
login 
