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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Why Women Fail with Online Dating, and how to Succeed      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Evalis
Joined: 7/11/2005
Msg: 1
Why Women Fail with Online Dating, and how to SucceedPage 1 of 1    
Most women with an attractive picture on their profile will be forced to weed through several emails a day, many of which may be crude, sexual, or rediculous. The response to this is simply to read/filter all the mail recieved until someone of interest if found (physically or mentally), either because there are simply too many messages to read to do anything else, or because searching through the people that send the mail is satisfactory as a means of determining what is available on that site.

The inherent problem with this, is that unlike the real world, waiting for someone to approach and start a conversation says nothing about their level of confidence, courage or wit. It takes a whole of three seconds to send a message to someone with little to no content, or a cut&paste of a reusable topic. In other words, keeping an attractive picture on a profile only serves to create more mail, not reduce the ammount recieved from others that under normal circumstances would make a very poor fit.

Additionally.. when searching through profiles, the same mistakes are made by both sexes: The picture is the very first element taken into consideration. Even in cases where appearance is very important, this is a poor method of determining if someone is compatable, simply because pictures can lie. Perhaps that person had the picture professional created, doctored, or is using a picture that is not even their own. In the reverse, the person may have little to no access to professional equipment and has pictures that make them look far worse than they might in person.

So, what can you do to improve your chances of success online?

Assuming the majority of people are looking for at least some level of physical intimacy in a relationship, it would not be appropriate to list nothing that expresses appearance. However, what you can do, is remove your 'main' picture and only list pictures (or a description of yourself) inside your profile. In this manner you will filter only those individuals that are interested in what you have written in your topic and profile, because they will not initially respond to a visual cue.

Will not having a main profile picture listed cause you to recieve less mail? Yes, yes it will.

This leads to the next most prominant issue .. women not sending mail. Remember that sending a message online is not in itself an appropriate filtering device. This may lead to more success in physical environments, but not virtual ones: If you want to find a person that interests you, then search, based on that persons profile, not their picture, and write your own messages. Consider that any person interested in intellectual conversation, or even any level of communication, is also interested in responding to interesting topics.

Would you enjoy initiating a topic with your friends every single day, while they never presented anything new? Probably not. Don't think your dream guy would either.

As with anything, success is determined by effort and luck. Put the time into searching through other profiles, sending messages, and guaranteed, this virtual experience will improve. And maybe, with a little luck, you'll find that perfect guy you're looking for.
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