| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/3/2005 11:29:21 PM | So there I was, babysitting this newborn tonite...she's 6 weeks old, the little gal of a friend of mine. She's adorable.....such a good baby.....and I watched my son with her (he's 10) and he LOVED her! (He loves all kids but especially babies)......
I'm 31, and still struggling with whether or not I'd like to have another child down the road. I have so many pro's.....and some con's....and it makes my head spin!!!
I think to myself, "I'll never regret having another baby....but will I regret NOT having another?"
I suppose the added pressure comes from the fact that I do not want to have another child after the age of 35.....which gives me 4 more years to get this decision in place.....
Is anyone else out there wrestling with this kind of decision? Have more or not? | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 12:51:48 AM | | I can't see that you would have any regrets in having another, besides, your son would have a sibling to protect as well. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 12:53:15 AM | childbirth hurts like a mother! i learned the first time so i have no biological clock. ;) and i don't regret my choice one bit. i couldn't be luckier to have such a wonderful child. i couldn't get that lucky again. he's such an awesome young man...
women are now having babies well after they are 40 so don't let go of any hope you might have to have another child, even if it's after 40 & especially if you take very good care of yourself. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 1:50:28 AM | Kitty's right. I have two freinds that are on their second marriage. My closest freind has just had her fifth child, at the age of 43, and all of her children are happy and healthy.
You have lots to time to decide. Hell, look at the movie stars...they are having babies well into their fifties (although, that would never be my list of wants ...lol) So, just go with the flow and whatever happens...happens!!
BTW: Is MINE ticking?....NO..it has exploded!! | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 8:51:37 AM | Thanks for all of the responses!
Just to address the "age" thing...I'm aware that women are having babies well into their 40's...it's just not something that "I'm" interested in doing. (Thus the 35 cut off age).......I mean, my son will graduate high school just before my 39th birthday.......and I "do" want some life of my own in those later on years...as I didn't have them in my 20's....if that makes any sense.....
Great responses, keep em coming! | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 9:19:15 AM | | you make a whole lot of sense canadian hottie... i was 19 when i had my son... he's 17 now and i'm drooling over the day i get my house to myself. my time is coming soon! :) | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 10:03:30 AM | I feel like an as& for my earlier comment. Please let me apologize.
On topic: Men also crave being a daddy now n then. I know this from experience. Thank God for my nephew n niece as they allow me the illusion that I am grown up by allowing me to use the paternal parts of my being. (I think I'm pretty good at it, and bless their souls for making it seem that way anyways).
I will, almost certainly, be becoming a part of an already born childs life; if at all. It just makes lots of sense to me. If I enjoy their mother; I will enjoy much of THEIR mental makeup too. PLus; the early morning stuff is already done. PLus...you know..I just want someone to watch grow and become a success in their own life. Bloodline....ya..I guess I may enjoy having one of my own..but..the most important parts of that relationship can be found with one who has already been born, and who may wish for a man role model in their life. Point being; men think about thsi sometime too. (unless I'm just wierd..but hey)
I, like Hottie, also do not want to be a new parent starting over the age of 40.
Again; CdnHottie; sorry about my comment, which now, seems oh so unappropriate. I thought, in all fairness, that I should tell you my honest thoughts.
<--big as& for his earlier comment. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 10:32:07 AM | WOW C.H., I thought I was only one struggling with this issue. Yuppers...I think of this alot too. My daughter, 7 in another month, is always asking me if she can have a sister or brother. So, of course I've thought of this. I am 34 years old, and I too do not want to start over again at 40, I'm not sure if I want to start over again at 35 or over! But I sure do feel like that when I'm around new born babies. I sure get to thinking how nice it was holding my daughter, playing with her, I didn't even mind those midnight feedings! LOL.
SO....to have another one...or wait (hopefully) another 20 years for grand-babies??? Perhaps, with the right man this time? | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 4:18:15 PM | interesting...
i don't have one of those clocks but...
i was at a park a few weeks back and this little new one just reminded me of my son who's 8
did really want to just hold the child but as a stranger of course i didnt ask.
an old friend, has had a baby girl very recently and i don't have to ask as i know the mom and dad...i too would love to have one more child...
remember when they (your child) didn't smell...i thought thats one of the things cute about little babes...
where does one find a biological clock?- ooops another thread i guess !  | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 5:07:17 PM | | if i can find mine littlewing... you can have it! :) speaking of... does anyone know how to go about donating eggs? i had thought about being a surrogate in my younger years but i'm not physically up to that anymore... i know it's completely off topic but i had to ask. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 8:38:00 PM | Canadian Hottie, I know that the biological clock issue seems to be more prevalent amongst women but I have also given it some thought and think that I agree with you. I mean I wouldn't want to have another child much past 35 for a few reasons. #1 is I want to be able to do things with my children, whether it be throwing the ball around or what have you, I wouldn't want to be chasing my kids around in a walker. #2 is I have a 5 year old and I would want the next child to be somewhat close in age to my son so they can have a strong relationship. And lastly as you've stated I want to have some down time, I don't want to be chasing kids around forever.
It's kind of puts the pressure on to realize that 35 is just a handful of years away for me but to maintain the quality of life that I desire for myself and my son I think it is necessary. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/4/2005 8:54:59 PM | nope mine died!! lol
i would live another baby !!
A GIRL MAYBE LOL
BUT AFTER 4 BOYS I RELIZED MY CHANCE WAS UP
now i'll wait for grand baby;s | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/6/2005 8:05:33 AM | Now that is a good question! I really don't know...I'm 37 and have one son who's 13. Sometimes I know, absolutely, positively that I don't want to have another one. Then there are days when I think, hey, I'd be an even better parent now...I have TONS more patience, I have experience, and could give a baby tons and tons of love with less frustration than I had when my son was a baby. I start wondering how many more years I realistically have until it's too late. Then, I go back to thinking NO NO NO. 
Maybe this means my clock is beginning to tick? Who knows?
-sparkle | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/6/2005 9:15:19 AM | | I often debate this too. I often feel that way after spending time with friends' babies or young children. It's such an ache at those times! I'm in a lot better shape than I was when I had my son almost 8 years ago, so the age thing doesn't bother me too much. Sometimes I think that finding a partner who also has children would be the better way to go, but that has it's own special set of challenges. It's not an easy decision, but hopefully if I find the soulmate/lover/bestfriend that decision will make itself. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/6/2005 11:11:48 AM | | I know that it's usually in the spring time when babies of all kinds are born, but i have been noticing an obcene amount of puppies and kittens and bunnies and babies all over the place. My nine year old daughter told me just the other day.."I am ready for a little brother now Mommy." Well mommy is not but my ovaries scream HELLOOOOOOO ITS BEEN NINE YEARS HERE, everytime i see a little one. I think I must have a grandfather clock or something else just as loud. | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/6/2005 7:28:19 PM | Thankfully my clock is dead!! Else I'd be popping kids once a year, I loved being pregnant, I love being a mom.
My kids are older (12 and 10), my daughter is STILL asking for a baby even tho I'm not able to have more (and she knows it's not something I can reverse).
And even if I were able to have more I'm not so sure I'd want to start over with a brand new family now. It'd be like have 2 sets of families living under the same roof. My oldest would be leaving the house when the "baby" started kindergarten!! LOL
I will be in my mid 40's and young enough to enjoy the "other" stuff life will throw my way with the new found independence!!
My parents are the same, had kids young in life, grew up with us and are able to enjoy their lives even more now that we are all adults. I hope and pray I have the same result with my kids.
And I'm not saying I wouldn't welcome other kids into my life, if I should meet someone with younger kids (or older) I'm all for it!! | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/6/2005 8:35:01 PM | I'm with you on that. I'm going to be 30 in March.. my kids are 5 and 7. I love babies, and I've always wanted to have a big family (call me strange). I'd love another one, and my daughter wants a sister. Her brother just doesn't play barbies well enough I guess.
I too won't be having children past the age of 35. I got married young, and really didn't regret it until the break-up happened. When I got married, I said it would be for life, and that's what I was planning. However, as well know, plans tend to change. Hopefully I can find a good man that still wants to have a child even after my two.
I adore babies, their smell, the way they wrap their little fingers around yours. *melts* ahh to have a wee baby again. Even though I had 9 months of "morning" sickness with both of mine, I'd do it all over again. I loved being pregnant with the exception of that. I guess you could say I love children with a passion.
~Meik | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/9/2005 10:29:25 AM | Oh thanks for clearing that up, Kitty!
I put some thought into this and figured out that I don't actually want another child. It's more of a feeling of...I wish I could experience it again, but this time, the "right" way, or what I perceive to be the "right" way. My son was a major surprise. I was on the pill, I was 23 years old, unmarried, and my career was just getting off the ground. Then BINGO! The little test strip read + instead of -. I was so shellshocked it took me an hour to figure out that + meant pregnant. I kept holding it up to the box, just to make sure it really was a plus sign! I then broke down, sobbing...my boyfriend came in and was excited! We're gonna have a baby! Let's get married right away! I love you! He was so thrilled...and I was so not thrilled. I finally got used to the idea, we got married right away, then divorced almost four years later.
Of course, my son is the love of my life and has been since he began kicking around inside me.
The experience I missed, and always thought I'd have, is to be married, both partners want a child, plan a pregnancy, and be filled with joy at the sight of the + on the test strip. It's not really that I want another baby...it's the "idea" of the perfect scenario that I did not experience, and probably never will.
-sparkle | |
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| Biological Clocks...is yours ticking?
Posted: 9/9/2005 10:36:09 AM | well....uh.....um...Let me know if you need any "help" with that "biological need"....
Just kidding...good topic. We all have a window of opportunity to take advantage of. | |
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