| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/5/2005 1:52:31 PM | I'm sure everyone has a little story they can add to this one....
Don't ever run downhill in high heeled shoes when you are very drunk!!! Gravity can be a nasty b*stard!!!!
JJ
Look forward to hearing everyone else's stories... | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/5/2005 2:52:25 PM | - stairs are not your friends
- never get in the bouncers face
- once you fall down it's time to stop drinking
- after a 12 pack the guy you'd never touch looks pretty cute
- always write the number of a cab company on your hand along with your address
funny story:
i was drinking at a bar on new years last year. i got a little hammered and went over to a guys house (my future bf's). i was wearing my contacts that night and at some point i took them out (i didnt have my glasses with). anyways i woke up in the morning, couldn't see anything, i was freaked out and didn't know where the heck i was. i found a phone and called my buddy who's a cab driver:
Me: ron i need you to pick me up
Ron: where are you?
Me: i don't know . . . there's a yellow truck outside and i don't think that i'm far from the bar
Ron: okay i'll see what i can do
so i headed downstairs to wait for him. i got to the bottom of the stairs and i hear a womans voice:
Her: who are you and what are you doing here?
Me: ummmm . . . i'm just leaving
i ran out the door and somehow Ron found me and drove me home.
i wound up dating that guy for about five months. and the woman was his sister. they always teases me about this story. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/5/2005 10:56:32 PM | watch out for what yu are dragging with you as you crawl to the door..
to not walk off a second floor balcony like yo are on level ground...
to not go to a mans motel room too late/or at night, by mistake.......
to not start at noon and race shots with your best friend till closing time...
that all men aren't that funny and that great of dancers just because they hold you up...
to not get drunk with four of your sisters.......
whooooohooooo i could go on..makes me wish i still drank-lol | |
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j-roc
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Joined: 5/24/2005
Msg: 6 | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/5/2005 11:47:16 PM | If you're going to pull a stupid prank (like dropping a few
icecubes down the back of a shirt) on a buddy,make sure
that the person IS your mate,and NOT some-one who just
looks them from behind.
Never attempt a "serious" conversation with your S/O.
Don't give the cat a "Dutch Oven".
Take note of the most unattractive woman in the bar BEFORE
you start drinking.When she starts to look good-It's time to leave. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/6/2005 8:54:47 PM | to always go to the port a pot or bathroom at a concert or have friends help hold you up. If u decide to go outside - don't go where everyone else has been.....be choosier with your spot. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:31:08 AM | JJ-
that note at the bottom is good for both sexes I'd say!!
Damn straight!
Mandy's explained Dutch Oven,at this point I'll add another sober reflection;
"It only seems like a good idea at the time!"
Mind you,I think that observation is applicable to most drunken decisions.l.o.l. | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:49:56 AM | ~If you take a shot called "Call Me a Cab" its really time to call a cab.
~Those orange cones are not there for target practice.
~By the end of the night, if you know who can tell when a woman fakes it, you go home with the one who can't tell. (that was a fun one!) | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 20 | |
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| Things I've learned while I was drunk....
Posted: 9/8/2005 7:47:34 AM | Ladies, Let's call it a night, if:
1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in
the ladies room.
3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass. (Or choke
them)
4. You realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the
goddess you were just four hours ago. (Too many times to count)
5. You drop your 3:00 AM burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry
on
eating.
6. You start crying. (Never!!)
7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. You've forgotten where you live.
12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes
you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now)
you
only smoke when you drink.
13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving
you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste
the gin or vodka. (Or you yell at the bartender many times, saying that
Vodka makes you naked!)
14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like
pizza.
15. You repeatedly begin sentences with "Don't take this the wrong way, but… "
16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on
it.
17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to. | |
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