| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME [Closed - Done to death...]
Posted: 9/5/2005 10:28:53 PM | cheers but we don't finish last we finish with style and when these girls realize that they do not need these ***holes macho freaks they will be wondering where we are.Just remember you reap what you sew do not the negativity of the world corrupt you just give them the fingerit is not our fault somebody dropped a house on thier sister.Stay up man she will come along then all those fools will be wanting to be us as we walk away with our heads high and they ask themselves where did they go wrong.Cheers | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/5/2005 10:46:52 PM | | You have some valid points. The world does need more nice guys. The point most nice guys miss is that they also need to be the man. Strong secure honest loyal and to be able to take the situation in hand and deal with it. Then and only then will they get the reconition they deserve. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/5/2005 11:00:26 PM | AMEN mortiis88, I could have not put that any better myself. I have been in that very situation a few too many times and it does get tiring after a while being the one to pick up the broken pieces of their hearts, putting them back together and handing them back to hear "you are such a great friend, thanks for being there for me" just to watch it all happen all over again. Why do we do it to ourselves? Cuz we're the "nice/good guys" that's why. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/5/2005 11:10:11 PM | ever wonder if it has anything to do with the girls that the nice guys are putting up with...because sometimes, in that movie plot of a "nice guy finishes last as cute female friend pours out heart for him but puts out everything else for mr.not so nice guy" there is the "other female friend who listens as her nice guy friend whom she secretly adores laments about THAT girl who just won't give a nice guy a shot cause she's too busy with the ***holes...." and she gets just as screwed as the nice guy
been both girls, so I know. learned my lesson from being girl number one though....although, girl number too is NOT fun either...
I've had more than one nice guy friend pine after a girl who would only ever be his friend, while I waited by his side and listened and wanted him to realize what HE was missing...me
I second the toast to the nice guys....they really are the ones who will some day have the nice jobs and the nice houses and be happy, while the ***holes are sitting in some singles bar looking for wife number 4 who is prettier and thinner and YOUNGER than wife number three before three is even gone...
They will be happy some day, these nice guys, but maybe first they need to realize that they need a nice GIRL to complete the equation.... | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 12:12:54 AM | This whole notion of nice guys and bad boys is an illusion. Girls are young and immature at 20+ and have strange expectations, but then boys at 20+ have some pretty weird expectations themselves. I have always liked the odd ball guys. Tall, thin, not "manly", what many call "nice". What you might call "undervalued" if by valued you mean they get laid. I married a nice guy and I had several friends who were married to "nice guys". These men seemed to feel as though they had missed out on something that other more "bad boy" or &##hole types were getting, namely sex. These "nice" guys felt entitled to some kind of acknowledgment for being nice guys. These nice guys all ended up cheating on their wives. Some of them never were entirely faithful and all because they thought that they deserved to get laid more.
What a strange belief.
See what is really odd about your post is that all those "nice" things that you describe seem to be the kind of thing that I would give to any of my friends for free without any expectation that I am going to be well-thought of, or finally recognized as a better dating partner. I expect that I will be safe with a man I call my friend. I expect that he will never take advantage of me, no matter how drunk and stupid I am acting and likewise when he's stupid and drunk I won't steal his wallet. I don't expect extra special treatment for being a decent human being--it's its own reward to be decent. If someone smiles at me I smile back and if I open the door for them and they smile at me, I take it as a thank you. I don't necessarily feel suckered into anything by it. I am willing to be a supportive friend surrounding whatever my friends are going through because they don't owe me anything. I'm not their friend to "get something"--I'm their friend because I genuinely believe in them and like them. Being able to like them and have them like me back is enough.
Sex is not a commodity. It is an act between two people that can either be about the shallow stuff or about the big stuff. To be about something real it takes knowing a person and being known. It takes accepting yourself and the other person just as you both are. It's not what you get for good behavior it's what you do when you are as comfortable with that person as you are with your best friend. Hot sex, with luscious babes is a fantasy every bit as ridiculous as the harley riding James Dean wild but deep, handsome but not pretty, completely cool and totally in love with the girl that you seem to be writing about.
What if the problem really is that media has been allowed to shape what is and is not meaningful, what is and is not sexy, and what is and is not valuable? What if everyone, boys and girls buy into the Laguna Beach, Orange County, Desperate Housewives, Melrose Place kind of lifestyle as real and try to emulate it?
One of the hardest things to learn is that the trap that keeps girls who are beautiful from noticing guys who are "nice", is the same trap that guys who are "nice" are into for wanting the "beautiful" girls to notice them. Let's face it--there are plenty of girls that "nice guys" won't date. Why not? Aren't they good enough? Isn't it just the same in reverse? The world doesn't owe anyone love but if you like yourself and love those around you, your life becomes meaningful and rich and you have something to offer others. And hey just think if you are out squiring some friend to a party or an event, you have the option to meet others and flirt too. You aren't "dating" after all. Chances are that if you are this escort, you have both your legs and the ability to walk, which means most likely your privates are in good working order, which means you are more than halfway to the opportunity to be in an intimate relationship and you get to feel it too. Just think--there are men out there who have lost the ability to feel anything below their waste. Is life just over for them because they can no longer feel sexually?
I applaud nice people because being nice is not the easy way and well, mean people suck. But being nice doesn't entitle anyone to more than the feelings they have about their own choices. I am glad for every day that I can still love my ex-husband, no matter what our differences are, because I benefit from that love whether he ever knows about it or not. I hope you get more than you ever dreamed possible and that you know every kind of love that you can. Start with yourself and the rest will come around. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:07:43 AM | His story is certainly worth telling and reading but valeriepainter has clearly and quite nicely pointed out what the real dilemna facing the nice guy, or for that matter the nice girl, and that is deciding on the role you want to play. Are you a true friend or are you hoping that all your actions in the mentioned situations will ultimately be rewarded? Perhaps if the admission was made that his "friends" were really the subjects of unrequited love, then the nice guy would certainly be getting the short end of the stick, but if the seemingly unaware women are counting on him as their friend, they would certainly not call their actions into question.
So the nice guy has to make a choice, he either remains the friend and has all the ups and downs of being that friend or admits to himself and to her that he feels more, requires more and won't settle for less. And even though it may be difficult and may even result in the end of a "friendship", it is far easier to be real about your expectations if your cards are on the table, and will lessen the inevitable disappointments and frustrations of just being the nice guy waiting for the crumbs from the bad boy's table. I say nice guys don't finish last, they just need more time to find smarter women who recognize a good thing when they see it. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:21:47 AM | | the competition for females is fierce. inevitabley there are losers. tons and tons of females overseas that will appreciate you. domestic females just don't have the motivatin to stay off junk food. i don't give them a second look anymore. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:28:29 AM | wow. that's good.
as for me, I've grown bitter. not because I dont want to be nice anymore. but because I know I'll do it forever because my heart tells me it's right, weather or not theres any reward at the end of the tunnel. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:54:20 AM | | hate to say it but I am in the same shoes as pellaken, I am growing bitter and its because I keepbeing too nice and getting taken for granted or taken advantage of. I dont like to judge people or think poorly of them and that leaves me wide open to be slaughtered. The women I date don't love me they just like money and a guy who will spoil them. The last girl I dated I fell in love with and overlooked the fact that she didn't get me a birthday or christmas present because I loved her so much. I am kinda giving up on women, there just doesn't seem to be any worthwhile ones out there anymore. Thanks for the encouragement though. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 2:06:56 AM | I contend that these nice guys seem only to be attracted to vain, self-centered, shallow, insecure, immature, foolish, ****y, manipulative little girls who masquerade as women. Nice girls keep searching for nice guys, but these guys are too preoccupied with those afore-mentioned "women" to ever notice. It's a shame, really.
I like your writing style, mortiis88. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 2:09:33 AM | ^^^
I dispute that. most of my female friends are great people on the inside. Those who arent, dont talk to me anymore, because we've grown apart.
I've NEVER met a nice single women who went beyond the first impression stage with me. EVER. | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 3:26:26 AM | So why aren't all the nice guys hooking up with all the nice girls? If there are so many that refuse to shop in the meat section, why don't enough people find each other in the veggie aisle? Well, I'm not really a nice guy, however, I do wish all you nice guys the best in finding those girls you seek. There's PLENTYOFFISH for us all!! | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 5:57:38 AM | Yes, we do want nice guys!!!.... Those of us who have are heads on straight and know what we want in life....but unfortunately they are a dime a dozen these days....And by the way ALL the nice girls aren't taken!!! | |
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| THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE NICE GUYS!!! READ ME
Posted: 9/6/2005 6:02:25 AM | Okay.. I'm tired and cranky so here it is.
No matter what the nice girls say we want, the guys won't believe it. You know why? Because they look at the girls with nice bodies, not the nice girls themselves. The little twig thin cheerleader types that I wish we could send off to a remote island somewhere - but that's a whole different thread. Then there are the nice girls who end up with the "friggin idiots" because they have low self esteem and don't believe they deserve any better. So forum after forum gets opened up with guys whining that they're nice but all the nice girls only want a***holes. FINE!
GGGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Okay. A little frusterated. The dander is officially up. | |
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