| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 6:54:43 AM | | Yesterday I found out about this site because it was in the history on my boyfriends computer. We live together and spend every sleeping and waking moment together except work hours. I never thought he would actively search for someone else while we were so happy. When he came in yesterday all smiles, I let him know how I found out about this site and all the women he contacted (I contacted them to warn them). He had the nerve to react hostile and basically broke it off for me with excuses about what I've done a year ago. What a coincidence that when he gets caught...all of a sudden he never forgave me for "talking" to someone a year ago during our breakup. Men like him can devastate your soul. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 7:10:42 AM | | He's attempting to shift blame back to you with that excuse. Good for you for emailing the women and not falling for it. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 7:15:33 AM | First off, naming someone on here is against forum rules.
Obviously there were trust issues if you were going in under history looking for something. and just because someone is on this site doesn't neccessarily mean they are looking for someone. I come here for the forums and forums only.
How did you know what women he contacted anyway?? its password protected, how did you find out his password?
Take it as a lesson learned, I'm sorry that you had to find out the way you did, but plastering his name up on the forums isn't making you reach a higher level now is it? I know you are hurt but there are other ways to deal than this, hon, i am truly sorry. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 7:34:24 AM | Sorry Danigrl but I disagree with you. I think people deserve to be warned about people like this. The guys profile claims he is single, and SEEKING A GOOD WOMAN. Obviously he is "whoring" around and not looking for friends or email chatters. The fact that he was angry with her for getting caught only emphasizes the issue of his guilt. Personally I would want to be warned of such people's existance, and at the age of almost 40 I know all too well just how deceitful even the most trusting of men can be. Not to say that they all are, but many have alterior motives that the woman would never know about if she didn't check things out from time to time upon her suspicions.
You don't have to know someones password to access a site on your own computer. Some computers have automatic logons installed on them, and some people just don't bother to log out at all.
Thanx for the heads up Belle, and I am deeply sorry for your pain. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:05:20 AM | There is no way in telling from the cookies, i just looked at mine and its brings up pages i've never even looked at in POF..
She would have to know his password to be able to see his sent messages, and POF doesn't remember passwords it will remember the username but no passwords, i just don't get it.. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:16:00 AM | If you are looking for something you will always find it! If your boyfriend has been contacting women then you should have kicked his ass out. It sounds as if he's on the defensive because he knows he's been caught.
I would rather a woman dish the dirt rather than me get my hands dirty also. kudos
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 10:23:31 AM | | I love this whole I caught you doing something naughty with the (insert technological device) issue... This issue comes up in the vise versa with men catching women too you know... I say try to patch things up with the guy, have mercy... You can never get everything from just one person, that's why people even in very tight romantic relationships still need friends; that is I guess unless things are already over, I would suggest trying to talk it out with him. Maybe you can surf POF together next time, its fun shooting the breeze with strangers, there is much more to this thing then hooking up let me tell ya... | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 10:39:27 AM | man, this goes right along with you thinking that you are the only female that this one guy on this site, is contacting.ladies, when you're not online, these same men are chatting with other females,and getting hook ups, it's all bullshit.and you know i'am not lying. | |
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Snow_7
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Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 10:48:20 AM | So much to comment on, so little time...A) The OP could easily have stumbled accross the history of this person's internet activity while looking for something of her own interest in the history of log ons. B)My computer has that auto log on thing, so I can easily access my roommmates profile, but I wouldn't because that is unethical. It is a difforent story to look if it was my boyfriend, he would be unethical to be on here without telling me and I would be way curious as to what he was up to. C)Obviously he is a louse, I have not looked at his profile (I don't think) but from what this thread is saying he was listed as "Looking for a Good Woman" and as he was living with a woman and supposedly in a "happy" relationship, he is a jerk.
In general I dispise jelousy, and don't play that game, but lying is another issue, and liars suck. I think you are better off without him and although posting his name here is a little on the "not playing nice" side, it is understandable. You care about the women who are being missled by this s.o.b., and you want to punish him for hurting you. Good luck in future relations, and as for the suggestion you try to work it out, um, NOT!  | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:32:35 AM | What a jerk! I'm living with a man I really love right now, and I would be devastated to find out that he was out picking up other women while I was at work!
AND...before you all start commenting: He knows that I'm on this site (and it even says on my profile that I'm only here for the forums, and that I'm in a great relationship), and occasionally he goes and reads the comments I make (and usually laughs at references to himself).
Regardless of how you found out about it, he's a sneaky jerk, and has no right to get pissed off because you caught him being one. Kick the sucker out, and post another couple profiles for yourself! | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 11:48:12 AM | hey belle-6!
i totally feel you and thank you for the shout out. screw him. this is not about you. this is totally about him and his issue. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 12:23:16 PM | | Dani it does remember passwords...you are not using the same program as he is obviously..I use mozilla and it remembers my password..and against the rules or no if I meet one more guy who is in a relationship looking to trade up I'm gonna barf. I'm glad she posted it...although I was too late to see his name damn! :) | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 1:10:38 PM | | ^^ahhh.. well hell that would explain it.. i wish the one i used remembered mine because i have too many to remember!! thank you for clearing that up! :) | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:03:44 PM | | ^^^^some people have a bad habit of using the same pass word for everything so the can remember them. That is why the company IT people are always making you change your password. My ex used the same password for everything. | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:18:08 PM | | Similiar issue different gender. My gf gets all upset when I "check-up on her" and confront her for having personnal ads posted. Then she found an old ad of mine (had forgotten about it and had not accessed for about a year (since before I met her) and she went off the charts. Her excuse for having ads posted has varied from "I'm conducting research" to... "I'm checking up on an old b/f" ... to.. "I'm checking up on you" ... I really love her and she claims to love me to the depth of her sole... but I can't bring myself to trust her... so I'm staying with her for the great companionship and great sex... and choosing for now to ignore what she may or may not be doing when we are apart... I think using personal sites is a type of addiction... we need "Personal Ads Anonymous" PAA meetings... | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:48:52 PM | Oh my gosh, I have never answered a post and saw this and just had to. First, I too, am all set to go when I go into my favorites and hit plentyoffish because I have my handle and password set. Second....... there is PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA. So, don't despair!!
Third, I am not sure how old you guys are because honesty, I stopped reading after a couple of posts but what I have learned in life and in relationships is....... Don't take things sooooo personally, if a guy screws up, (and he will), it is not so much that he doesn't love you, it is just that he is a guy. A lot of people would say that is a cop out. I have learned that people in general like what is off limits and will play around with fire until they get burned, it is not always because something is better, prettier, etc., just that it is different which makes it exciting. Trust me I was a crazy jealous person "back in the day", (which was not that long ago), and learned after a lot of unnecessary heatache that it does no good to worry about what is totally out of our control. All it will do in your life is make yourself sick and cause you to suspect the worst of EVERY relationship. My suggestion is forgive move on, be a bigger person and DO NOT allow that event in your life rule the rest of your relationships.
Funny thing is that I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said..... The more I know men the more I love my dog!! Lol. Aint that a hoot? Seriously, I know different things can be more painful and real to others but KNOW, it has nothing to do with you but with him. There is someone for everyone out there, I really believe that, even though obviously I haven't found him yet. Smile.
Meg | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:49:02 PM | Kick His Sorrrrry Ass Out 
If he was your dog you would have him put down 
No need for any woman to put up with that trash
[the 100 reasons thing was removed because it was a totally different thread VERY RECENTLY/excalibur] | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:55:25 PM | | Been there done that girl, I hacked into my b/f yahoo archives and read where he was chatting with another woman, calling her lover and planning his great escape, all the while acting as if all was o.k. with he and I. He reacted the same as your b/f acted like it was my fault he was treating me like dirt. Take my advice...tell him good riddance and move on, we all deserve better!!! | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/7/2005 8:57:03 PM | I don't know of a single man that has not cheated on his gf. I think as men, it's inate and we should stop apologizing for doing what comes natural - to spread our seeds across the land. There is a scientific study that supports what I'm saying and if you are in doubt I'll post the web site. It's scientific fact that we will cheat. End of story. Just following nature's program, who are we to revolt against our program even if we could? Accept us or become a same-sex couple.
As retaliation for the above blurb about men:
How many ...
save it for the Humour forum. Let's stick to the subject. /xander] | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/8/2005 11:00:09 AM | | ok im new to this forum but not to forums and whos the mods here i just reread the rules and it specifically states about revealing identies so and i do apologize that sucks and i bet it hurts but this thread should have already been locked and I would have banned ur ass without second thoght no ifs ands or buts you broke one of the number one rules peroid one of the reasons i signed up here was that rule im really shy and just beginning to think about dating again and anonimity is a big thing right now again ur ex is a **stard i agree he shouldnt have done what he did but what you did was not any better and bty what you did was totally and completely selfish theres other people here as well not just you and dude i mean really you just got your heart broken well ive had mine in pieces for over a year now and am just beginning to pick up the pieces FACT: rules are in place for a reason think about it | |
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| Boyfriend whoring on Plenty of Fish
Posted: 9/8/2005 3:46:16 PM | | I can relate to all of this. I recently found my boyfriend's profile on a friendship/dating site as well as on a sex site. I went looking for his profile because he was reading his email in front of me and I noticed an email with a girl's picture that looked like a typical dating "invitation". He refused to tell me what it was and said I was being paranoid. After confronting him about the profiles and hearing his protests that he'd done nothing wrong and that he loved me, I foolishly believed that the friend site posting was simply for friendship and the sex posting was an old profile he had placed for research purposes before we met (research for a novel he's working on). I can't believe I was so naive. A few weeks later, I caught him in a lie about where he had been that afternoon. He became very defensive and I didn't get a chance to tell him how I knew he was lying. He assumed that I had broken into his email (I hadn't) and that I was upset about the contents. Then he had the nerve to tell me he had expected me to break into his email because of all my trust issues and had planted fake emails to test me. He even went on to describe what the false emails were (flirtations with women, asking his ex to reconsider their breakup, making plans to spend the afternoon with another women and admitting he had lied). Obviously I'm not going to believe him this time as it sounds like a lame excuse to cover up incriminating emails. It just really hurts that he won't admit to doing anything wrong and that he turns everything around to make it seem like I'm completely paranoid. | |
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