| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 12:56:27 AM | is this even possible where guys start thinking of wanting a wife,kids the package deal ?
i dunno maybe i was just going crazy at the time when i was thinking about this stuff with my last g/f who i dated for a long time then it suddenly left me once i left her until recently ideas of kids names,fun stuff to do with kids and all that stuff just started comin to me the more i think about it the more i figure it will never happen i dunno if i even could given the way i live and all but anyway lets see what you people think | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 1:01:13 AM | I've wanted a child since I was 15... Don't ask me why, just did... I had my wild times through my teenage years, but have always wanted to settle down...
Just the way I am... So I guess the answer is, Yes it is possible for guys to think and want the real deal...
If you are thinking this way... Then Congrats, you are actually finally growing up... ;)
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 2:44:29 AM | Yes, I think that men can get to a fatherhood mode...
I used to have a picture up of myself with my adorable niece. I had to take it off because it became obvious that a lot of men didn't read my profile.
I was on a date and while he INTERVIEWED me.. (no he wasn't talking to me he was definately interviewing me) He told me he was going to take his profile down and concentrate on me... (the 1st meeting) Then he mentioned my adorable daughter... I told him I did not have a daughter and he said well who is in the picture. (the 1st line of my profile stated she was my adorable niece!) He seemed so upset.............. and he said.. darn ... I guess we will have to START from scratch then. He was actaully wanting me to already have a child so he could just have one more! | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 6:20:23 AM | crazy hell no.
I sure as hell dont want that at this very moment. quite frankley I would be happy with a semi steady trustworthy girl at this point.
but a wife and kids and a home.
thats definatley on my to do list.
no kids before 30 though.
I,ll own my own home by 30. (god bless my new job)
marriage??? if it happens it happens.
who the hell wouldnt want to settle down after decades of booze drugs sex and fighting | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 7:26:52 AM | | Don't have intercourse if you're not ready to be a father, because no form of birth control is 100% effective. If you do have a child you don't want, it gets a father it doesn't deserve. About the time you discover personal responsibility, fatherhood starts making sense. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 8:59:58 AM | I have thought about it and gotten in to the mode. I just can;t get my self up to the idea of doing anything to go through with it. I have very poor examples for parents, so I don't want and of the "Parenting skills" I inherited/learned from them.
I am not sure I can have kids, but I would like to if I can, but I also don't want to have kids if I am not with a woman who I can be with for a long time (long as possible) and of course would make a good mother. Both my parents are on marrage #3 and their brothers and sisters can't hold a marrage for all that long anyway. I know relationships are not hereditary. One of my set of grand parents have been to gether their whole life.
With their being so many divorces, and the costs associated with them I see all that money being taken away from the kids from the relationship.
Yes I get into father mode, but no, I can't honestly say I can do anything about. I haven;t been in a relationship I felt 100% about yet, and by that I mean confident enough there is a "untill death do us part" | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/9/2005 9:28:26 AM | After the fiasco of my last attempt at a family...
Give me a total hottie with a lucrative career and a stinking rich family, and I'll gladly stay home and be Mr Mom.
I can slip into 'Dad Mode' in a heartbeat under the right circumstances. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:24:51 PM | Well first time I thought that some day Id want to be a dad was when I was what... 13? But that was a thought that interested me and still does, but no serious urge, and I knew back then and know now that I still have a lot of time... Dude youre 26, when youre 36 and dont have kids, maybe then get worried about finding the future mother of your kids but right now... nah. Go to school, work on your career, do stuff...
The way I look at it, if you have kids right after getting your own life started, then what are you gonna tell em when they grow up? What stories will you be able to tell them out of their dads life? Not much. So take your time, enjoy the experiences that come with life, just *live* and make a great and even wiser dad some day.
UV
PS: Theres a lot of men who have their kids when theyre in their fourties or even fifties... so dont sweat it. Theyll come your way... | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/13/2005 8:51:25 PM | Yup, I married my ex when he was 28 and he had been wanting kids since age 17. That was the nicest time in his life. He loved me pregnant. It was like a big miracle to him....
Then I watched my son go through his 20's and get married at 32 and have his first baby. Same deal. I'm really proud of the dad he is to-day. Same thing with my daughter and her hubby too. They now have 3 and they were really ready for it. To-days kids seem to wait a bit longer and get settled and by 30 they are in the family getting mind-set. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 9/13/2005 9:01:53 PM | | My Brother laughs at me when I shop for my Daughters Clothes, I guess it was because I asked him what he thought of a little dress with flowers on it.. I bought it and the matching shoes too....They have more clothes than I do...that's crazy. I think if I had a boy I would dress him like me! | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 1/31/2008 1:08:06 PM | | Hey its like this pretend a stork flew in your new home dropped a baby on your kitcken table ...Oh my god you have to start thinking for 2 you have to get insurance ,you have to drive slower,you have to take care of your self,you have to eat better,you have to get up and work ,you have to keep a roof over their head and you have to be nice and loyal so they have both parents to see in the morning looking at them in a crib,,,to much for men who want to be buried with their toys and thats it...think about it.... | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 1/31/2008 1:09:31 PM | alright then at least you tried....But this time go out with her for 3 months if she doesnt do it for you move on dont move in..... | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 1/31/2008 1:09:36 PM | RE: First post.
Ive wanted children (three daughters would be ideal) since I graduated highschool. Fills me with pleasant feelings just thinking about it. *sigh* Doubt I'll ever get them though. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:30:50 PM | | I think if you truly love your partner and they express a sincere desire to have a child, then that love will ignite the same desire in you too... And that goes for both men and women. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:38:58 PM | My second husband couldn't wait to have a child, in fact our son was born like 9 months and two weeks after we got married. He had already thought of names and things to do with the baby, etc. I couldn't believe my luck, a man who couldn't wait to have children! Then two years later, while pregnant with out second child, he suddenly decided that fatherhood or being a husband just wasn't his thing anymore, he'd tried it and what do you know, it was hard work. So off he went, never looking back, and decided to live as though he had neither. Must be nice to just change your mind and run away from your family. 
Not saying that all men are like that, but y'all might want to put some serious thought to whether or not the next 20 years or so of your life dedicated to raising your children is what you want. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:53:28 PM | This is a pretty interesting topic, as it illuminates the very real (but not often talked about) male version of the Biological Clock.
When I was younger I had no interest in having kids, or being around them much. I think a lot of it had to do with how sour the parents were and how they were talking so negatively about kids. Seemed that everywhere I went, more and more people were what I'd have to define as "bitter" about raising/having kids. There was the odd time that I'd hear something pleasant about the experience, but wow those were few and far between. I used to work as a server in a resteraunt so I had access to a great pool of people to glean from.
So I took that with me into the dating world, and decided that in order for me to truly enjoy my relationship with someone...unfettered...she couldn't have kids. If she was a single Mom, the chats would generally die off soon as I found out. I carried this with me for years. Mom = no date.
In my mid 20's though, that was starting to wear off and I found myself openly thinking of or talking about kids of my own some day. This of course had people around me reeling, and quite surprised. But I wasn't fully committed to the notion.
I met my ex fiancé in my late 20's, and she made it clear to me that if I wanted to be with her, there were never gonna be any kids. In fact, soon as she was 25 she was gonna try to get herself tied off just to be sure. I willingly abandoned my fleeting thoughts about a family because I respected her direction in life. Besides, I wasn't really fully committed to wanting them anyways. We split for 2 months and got back together, and again this meant that I had to willingly abandon desires for a family. Twice now I did so.
Out of the blue one day, she turns to me and asks me about kids, and did I want any "rugrats". I was petrified so naturally my first instinct was to ask if this was some kind of trap or trick question...she was serious. So I told her that I willingly gave up my chance or opportunity for a family to be with her BUT if she did happen to get pregnant, I wouldn't hardly complain about it...I could imagine our kids woulda been exceptionally beautiful and gifted lol. I guess that was an acceptable answer 'cause she smiled and went about what she was doing.
After we split for good some time later, I woke one day and realized that I did want kids. It was an epiphany if you will. I dunno if it was something I ate, or something I drank...but I just literally woke up one day and said I wanted kids.
This of course delighted my SO, who was a single Mom already. Before her and I had "the talk", I would often joke about having some of my own kids one day and she would always offer to have them with me since she wants a couple more. That joke turned into serious chats about it after we had "the talk". Some of the chats even had me crying (happy tears) just talking about it and imagining what it'd be like.
A male biological clock is very real, just not talked about. I have no problems admitting that mine chimed off. I know kids ain't like toys, and they require a lot of work, dedication, and love (not to mention resources)...but I'm really looking forward to the day that I have a couple of my own to help raise.
JMO. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:59:56 PM | I was there from about 16 until my mid 20s.
After that, I just became indifferent.
Meaning....I'm not one that likes being single and doesn't wanna go through life alone.
But, whether or not marriage and/or kids are in the cards for my future?? I can either way quite comfortably.
Meaning...........I could have a lifetime gf, happily. OR..........if it's just that great, but she feels the need to get married? Fine.
To me...the relationship makes the relationship. Not the piece of paper or public proclamation. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:03:02 PM | This happens to men in their 40s or older, that go after younger women, trying to plant their seeds because they were out being boys for all those years. An alarm goes off and they realize their legacy will not continue. Baby seats look great in the passenger seat of that Corvette they just bought. Heck if Hugh Hefner can do it, so can you! | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:08:13 PM | I have a friend who woke up one day and knew he wanted to settle down and have kids so I think the same thing happens to men that happens to many women. There is a biological need to reproduce. I know at some point I got babyitis, maybe there is something about the little creatures designed to make us want to have them.
I think it means you would probably be a pretty good dad but you also shouldn't ever hook up with someone to open up the baby factory. Better to find the perfect person for you and then create a family. You can put those thoughts to good use by seeing if you could tutor or be a mentor to kids, many of whom could really use a good adult role model. | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:06:21 PM | | For 2 people that want the same thing its a welcome idea...if you meet someone and they dont want children in any form or fashion then it might make it tough to have a middle ground but people work out those differances in differant ways | |
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| Guys going into Fatherhood mode ?
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:26:44 PM | | I've thought about it in the past and I still get thoughts of becoming a dad. But right now I can't become a father cuz I want to finish my final year of culinary once and for all. Then I'll come back to that thought. | |
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