| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 4:28:51 AM | I am interested in the Psychology of why a man needs to have an affair? What intentions or results does he intend to achieve by commiting such an act?
Alison | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 4:37:15 AM | | Same reason women do, the people doing it have something missing from their life and arent brave, or honest, enough to finish the relationship they are in before moving on. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 4:46:01 AM | | It takes two to tango.... Why does a woman have an affair with a married man? What intention or results does she intend to acheive by committing such an act? | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 6:38:21 AM | Alright, let me retract the question with another.
Why do people have affairs? What provokes them to do this?
Alison | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 6:43:11 AM | I have never cheated ever !!!!
but I will attempt to answer this:
they cheat because
-they can
-they are horny
-they resent their spouse
-they suspect their spouse of cheating
they just saw
a p*ssycat dolls video"
and simply had no choice in the matter
 | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 6:53:51 AM | Guitar Man,
You say one of the reasons is because they are horny. Does that mean if a person has a high sex drive this gives them enough reason to cheat... if so, why?
I know it takes a certain type of person to cheat, but who are these people?
Alison | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:01:03 AM | ms ali
If a person has a high sex drive it means they are horny
it does not give them license to cheat
ie
it is ok .....or that it is an acceptable excuse to cheat
I believe people cheat because
-they think the world owes them something
or
they have really low self esteem
and need the boost
a un authorized shag gives them
or
maybe the trill of it
like stealing a candy bar when you were a kid
ps
I am only hypothisizing
I have never cheated on a girlfriend
(If you use any of my ideas in your paper....you owe me money) | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:06:58 AM | GuitarMan,
I hear people saying... its because he/she has not met the right person. Do you think a person who cheats is capable of changing their mould or do you think they can only continue with the same old patterns?
Alison | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:11:54 AM | great question Alison !!!
they go both ways
some see the damage they cause and do not repeat the behavior
others
are eternal thrill seekers and are cursed to repeat the
behaviour
you owe me dinner for writing the outline for your paper | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:12:32 AM | I also wonder what morals are lacking in this type of individual to make this type of person who they are? For EG they must be liars and have a lack of respect. Any other ideas?
Alison | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:15:43 AM | Some people have affairs for a boost in their "morale".
They do it for whatever reason they can justify. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:17:16 AM | | They don't care about the one they are cheating on, or else she doesn't mind. They are confused. They have no self-resepct. They like sex more than ethics. They like the excitement. They watched too many Italian movies growing up. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:21:52 AM | sometimes they just do it because they are horny
see above
"p*ssycat doll "
reference | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:22:18 AM | Any human can change, however the willingness to do so is up to each individual..
The bottom line is that there is no 'one' definitive reason why..There are so many reasons each based exclusively to that individual that it would be unfair to generalize.
For instance, I could say something to the effect that some men cheat because they have the need to conquer new things or women for that matter..and then we'll get 20 posts from different men berating me..
I think psychologically, it's different for each individual, and for some, it's a chronic condition and for others, it's a one time thing in the heat of a moment..someone you work with late one night etc..
~e | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 7:57:13 AM | | Alison I wouldn't know, never had or felt the need to have an affair. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 8:48:03 AM | | The common thread that I've seen from articles I've read and a few that I've known is that they're not getting "attention" at home. Not always just sexual, but their spouse doesn't make time to be with then anymore, or doesn't seem to care to and they go outside the marriage mainly for attention, sure there's sex, but that's usually secondary. A mistress or lover is usually someone unattached or another spouse with the same problem and they lavish attention and time on the cheating spouse. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 8:55:00 AM | The only reason that I can see is that they're self-serving, deceitful, insecure, sociopathic little wimps who don't know how to belly-up to the bar and say that they crave more, or different and they don't have the moxy to cut the other person loose so that they can go on to perhaps find something better, because if they did that they may find themselves on their own and all alone, and that scares the sh*t outta them.... because they're yellow...
Just my little rant.. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:06:36 AM | What ever
I read this book called the 50 mile rule when I thought my wife was running around on me. It is bassically a guide for cheating and not getting caught. Believe it or not, they have books for every thing these days. BUT, I figured it would give me more realistic insight than reading the "Healing" stuff. Anyway. The bottom line is there are multitudes of reasons for affairs. No ONE reason. In fact, many that have affairs still LOVE their spouse immensely. Oh and generally, Women are more forgiving than men are. Simply because for a woman to have an affair she is usually emotionally attached to the man (and guys cant handle that), but for dudes, they are able to have emotionless mind blowing sex and then go home and give to tierh wives emotionally (so the gals seem to forgive easier). Strange animals we are. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:07:49 AM | | Distraction from reality. Same reason some hunt, fish, camp, hike, bike, work on old cars etc.. Monogonotany is not for everyone. Everyones concept of need changes as they grow older. What was an incredible realtionship often deteriorates into I thought you'd change and grow into this. Men and women have entirely different expectations. Men see things never changing and adapt everything to that constant. Men are static. Women see things getting "better" whether it be their man, social status, career etc. Women are dynamic. Neither is wrong. What is wrong is committing to something and bringing children into the mix without exploring the variables attendant to cohabitation. I've long been a proponent of having to test in the 98th percentile rank to procreate. Clearly some will never achieve that standard. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:13:06 AM | Alright, let me retract the question with another.
Why do people have affairs? What provokes them to do this?
Alison
simple, its because we want to diversify our lives since the only way we learn is by comparison. and it applies to both sexes. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:16:10 AM | In my experience (talking to friends, etc)
One cheats because "the grass is always greener on the other side." Only to find out it isn't...
Some people might instictively know the person they are with are not "the one." So they are always attempting to find someone better. An upgrade. Only to find out people are basically always the same, or the new person has certain weaknesses they don't like. Therefore, instead of commiting to this new person, they choose to instead stay with the person they already know because its already comfortable. And continue on their quest for an upgrade.
On the other hand, theres some who don't need to upgrade. They realize all people have strengths and weaknesses and they never attempt to find the "perfect" person. They settle for one they like rather than the perfect person, as its good enough for them. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:22:04 AM | Ms Ali
People cheat because they are weak and just don`t give a damn! Most people today can not even spell "COMMITMENT" let alone keep one. I have never cheated, I have been cheated on and it was not fun. I am the type of person you only get one chance with. I think if a person cheats on another, show them the door, then lock it. | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:24:31 AM | __Because you ladies let them. Do not have affairs with attached males.
Doc  | |
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| Why do men have affairs?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:32:24 AM | Ms Ali
They have no respect for themselves, So can we expect them to respect others? It seems that all the bragging back in the old locker room in school, has carried over into many adult lives. I do not see how anyone can make a commitment to another and then throw it all away for a cheap thrill. There is NO EXCUSE for cheating! If you try to rationalize why you do it, you will have more excuses that are really a way of lying to yourself. | |
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