| making the love last
Posted: 11/29/2004 2:12:01 AM | O.K. Here's the scoop from a guy who had to face this very question due to a breakdown after 19 years...
DON'T ever take each other for granted! After a while, it is common for people to become too comfortable with each other and you tend to assume too many things. You cannot let this happen. Stay on your toes. Make each new day seem like you just started dating.
Mind you... even this is no guarranty. Nothing is for sure except death and taxes. People change, and sometimes the person you originally met becomes someone new. This holds true more so for women than men, because the role of a man remains generally more consistant than for a woman. Women have to deal with childbirth, mothering, carreer choices, and hormonal changes. Men have it quite a lot simpler. Even so, they too can suffer from midlife crisis and other afflictions.
One more piece of wisdom: In order to succeed, both must give, and both must receive what is being given. Think of 2 wells. If water is consistently drawn from one well without the well being replenished, it will surely run dry. And if the person trying to refill the well dutifully carries the water to the mouth of the well, but misses the opening, their efforts will be in vain. What I'm trying to say here is that each of us has different needs. Although one partner THINKS they are giving the other partner what they think the other wants, they may be missing the mark and doing it all for nothing, as the other partner is not receiving the message. | |
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