| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 9:54:00 AM | | I wanna know if the guys out there that might be reading this agree. My friend that is a guy told me that men prolly dont wanna date me, being a single mom of two kids, because men have it programmed in their genetics to want their "own" kids. Is this true? My personal opinion is just because i have kids already doesnt mean i dont want anymore. I believe that if I fall in love with a man that doesnt have children or even if he does and we get married I would like to have a child together with him. Anyways everybody what do you think? | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 10:21:47 AM | I don't think genetics is really a reason for not wanting a woman with children. I think that some men don't want the responsibility of having "other men's" children, and that has nothing to do with genetics. It doesn't mean that there are not men that will want to help raise your children like his own ( and there are a lot that will ), it just means you may want to take your time finding that right guy.
It is very hard to be a single mom, keep up the good work. It can all work out for the best.
For now, you are still very young, so take your time.......... it will eventually happen. Just remember to be very picky.
Good luck in your search. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 10:37:17 AM | It can be true.
Not for me, and of course, No one would admit it.
all I know is that in the wild, it IS true. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 10:56:35 AM | see my problem is I can't have more kids (but who'd want more at my age!!) and all these younger men are hitting on me, and I wonder deep down if that could be an "issue" down the road. I for one, am enjoying my freedom of having older kids and wouldn't want to go back into the diapers and preschool stage again.
BTW how do you like the new name?? I was informed that I should change mine to something more appropriate by a mod.
LOL | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 11:02:04 AM | for most men it is true
but the same happens with woman
so both sexes are ecual in this mather
 | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 11:20:05 AM | | Not in my case. I would rather she have children so she has a clue about what it takes to get free time. also it shows that they can stand on there own and manage a family | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 5:23:49 PM | | It must not be programmed to well in some of us then because it would never bother me. More often it's because they don't want the responsibility. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 5:58:24 PM | I have heard about this too! I would love to have more kids - I always wanted a big family, but sadly, I was sterilized after the birth of my 2nd child due to medical problems, so there is no way I could ever have another child unless I adopt one!!! It used to bother me that I couldn't have any more, but slowly in time, I have come to accept the impossibility and I am working on enjoying what I have.
Now I have reached the grand old age of 42 years old, I don't think that I could cope with another new baby after not being able to have any since I was sterilized 11 years ago!!! I don't know if I have what it takes nor the patience any more!!!
I think too, that men should get married because they love the person they are marrying more than life itself. I don't think that a marriage could work properly just because they are getting married because they both want kids. Kids could come later or not!!!
Those are my thoughts on the subject! | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 6:16:28 PM | It's true...if the guy's a neanderthal! Some men may be so insecure as to feel this way, even if they don't know it. However, most of us are open to the possibilities. A good guy will welcome your situation and try to be a good dad to your kids, his kids or a child you have together. Love isn't bound by blood.
O | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:30:35 PM | silvery20,
First, I'm 38 and don't have any children.
There was a time when I wouldn't date a woman with kids, so I found myself dating kids. I was thirty-two,and dated a couple of 19 year olds and a 20 year old. It was a hell of an ego boost, but got old real quick.
My last girlfriend had three at home kids, and I grew to appreciate it. She wouldn't get a sitter every time I wanted to go out. I finally learned what it was like not to be the main focus in someone's life. I especially enjoyed her kids looking to me for help and advice;something I never realized I was missing out on.
I spent a majority of my life trying to make something of myself. Once I got there, I realized I missed out on so much.
Plus, the kid in me likes the things you get to do on "We have to bring the kids" dates. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:34:26 PM | Art, that is truely an exceptional response. Proud to have had the opportunity to read it.  | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:53:48 PM | Silvery,
This isn't true other than as a personal preference. Even if we were in caveman times it wouldn't matter. What is usually going on is that younger guys don't want the responsibility of raising someone elses kids or the possible hassle of dealing with their father.
Near as I can tell the same goes with women as well. Since so far every woman I have come across here "runs for the hills" when she finds out I am divorced and have custody of my two little ones.
Does it bother me if a woman has kids already? No, long as they aren't "houseapes". I also do not personally want any more children. At 45 I want my kids to be grown and in college or graduated before I retire...lol. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/19/2005 10:51:07 PM | I find it very appealing to me to date or get to know a single mother... I know that there is most often a special quality of sincerity, loyalty, honesty, and discipline that goes along with the womans parent child relationship..
I also think that is what attracts most females to a single/divorced guy with child(ren). | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:12:38 AM | | Sadly there are guys out there that don't want the responsibility of raising another man kids and then there are some of us that have no problem with it at all. But I would say that a good man will have no issues with you already having children. And to answer your question, no, it's not a preprogrammed genetic thing in men to want just their own kids only, for some it is simply a preferance, for others it is not an issue at all. I personally have no problem what so ever dating a woman with kids already, I have in fact dated and later married a single mother and would do it again if the situation presented itself. | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:33:16 AM | silvery, I am a single mum too. I don't think though that it is a matter of genetics & that some guys or most guys won't date a single mom. I am a single mom of two kids, plus I have the furry kind too (a dog & cat)..I have never had problems getting dates or bf's or anything like that. My years being single & alone are ones I myself chose to have, you know?
I personally think that if a guy (or girl) won't see someone due to their children they had in a previous relationship or due to the fact they are a single parent, well I am sorry, that's that person's short comings of being a lesser person in that sense. It depends what one wants & desires though. Some people don't want kids, or other people's kids. You can't change those people, everyone has the right to go about acheiving their dreams, goals & aspirations.
If you meet someone & they don't have interest in your kid(s) because they are someone else's kids....well, that's unfortunate, but there are many, many other wonderful, talented, good looking, prince charming men out there that are willing to take the risk to meet a nice single mom looking to advance & go forward in her life with her dreams & aspirations as well too.
there are a lot of wonderful men out there that will give their world to single moms & that are willing to take those kids in & meet them too.....just the same goes in reverse to single dads for other ladies out there. I know women that are more than willing to meet a guy & his kids & all that.
It all comes down to personal preference really & well just don't waste your energy on anyone that does'nt have interest in kids from a previous relationship....just be aware that there are many guys that would love to have the opportunity to be in the position to meet you & your kids & hopefully have more!
Best of Luck Silvery! :) | |
|
| no its not true
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:33:24 AM | | I have two kids with the same woman. We arent together and she has no trouble finding guys. We share our responsabilities pretty good though. Don't really like each other, but we both spend about the same amount of time with our children. So we both have our private/free time. So NO its not true that you can't date if you have kids. But I bet their are some guys who wouldn't want a woman who already has kids. I think it's just a preference. For example, you might like eggs, I don't. | |
|
| no its not true
Posted: 9/20/2005 10:57:15 AM | | I think your friend is a self esteem lacking, nut job!! Any guy that won't date a single mother, has niether balls, or class. | |
|
| no its not true
Posted: 9/21/2005 2:46:03 AM | I think it will be true for the younger population of guys that you are probably interested in. At 24, most guys are going to want their own children. As you get older, and the men you meet already have their own children, you will find they will be more accepting of your children. Perhaps if you start considering the 30+ single dad population, you may find more what you are looking for.
Ozzie | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/22/2005 8:23:53 PM | I would like to say at this time in my life I want to be with a woman that has kids.
I wa married for 17 years and now that my girls are older I really miss that.
I feel like sometimes I missed so much and there are so many things that I would like to do all over again.
I know you may not understand what I am saying I guess you have to be a loving father to understnd.
I dated a younger woman that had two beautiful children ages 4 and 5 a boy and a girl.
the reason that we broke it off was because she didn't like that I was getting so close to her
children.
i REALLY think it was her problem I loved her as well as her children and she couldnt except
the fact that I wanted to be with them all and not just her.
So if you think you have problems try to figure this one out i know i can't i tried for 2 years now.
And it hurts it's like she took my family away just like my ex all over again.
and it hurts like Hell.
I sometimes wonder what she was thinking but then I guess she thinks she will be better off since her ex never showed any affection to them.
enough said GOOD LUCK... | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/22/2005 9:26:14 PM | | no its is NOT true i am 40 i domind being with some one with kids | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/23/2005 6:59:53 AM | After reading your profile, Ron, I'm not sure any self-respecting mother would want you.
Kids first. | |
|
| |
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 9/23/2005 1:23:04 PM | | any man that doesn't want you because you have kids , is not a man you want in your life anyways .... | |
|
| Guys is this true??.............YESSSS!!
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:10:59 PM | YES and understandly sooooo.... even IF I wanted kids.. I would want kids of my OWN ... and not raise someone elses'. It's doesn't make me a slime ball, less of a man, or has low self esteem-- it's called PREFERENCES!!
I commend younger, college-aged guys (and even guys in their 30's) that want to experience the feeling of raising their OWN kids.... and nothing is wrong with that! | |
|
| Guys is this true???
Posted: 10/24/2008 12:03:21 AM | | To some extent, I believe it is true, even if some people would rather not admit it. You could say it's genetics, or that it's a guy not wanting to clean up another guy's mess, or any number of reasons, but I do think that it has at least some basis in reality. | |
|
Home
login 
