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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > how can he replace me so quickly?      Home login  
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 bambigurl206
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 1
how can he replace me so quickly?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
omg, x hubby 2 b has moved in w/a new g/f which he met on one of these sites? Geeeez, talk about a bruised ego!
 SexyandBrainy
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:06:09 PM
how long were you separated for?
 TattoosAreAddictive
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 3
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:14:38 PM
Relationships don't always affect the men as much as they do the woman. I'm not saying this is true of all men but as women we get very emotionally involved in our relationships whether it be dating or marriage. That's why guys tend to move on faster. I can't imagine too many men talking to their guy friends about how they miss their ex-girlfriends while eating ice cream and doing their nails,lol. But with all humor aside I'm sure that it hurts to have him move on so soon. The best thing you can do is move on yourself. No one is saying you have to rush into anything. Just go with the flow and have fun! Cheers!
 bambigurl206
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 4
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:38:46 PM
we both filed for divorce on 8/15 of this year and he's found someone already. i know how he was with me......all over me when he first met me.......he forgets everything and everyone but himself......
 GreyMatters
Joined: 4/28/2005
Msg: 5
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:47:44 PM
Hang in there bambigurl... I know its trite to say, but he's someone else's problem now. I know it hurts to be replaced so quickly, trust me I do, but you're no longer part of the trainwreck you know?

Just hang in there.
 _Thisisme_
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:49:38 PM
Luckily bruises heal quickly....and think of it this way, she may be getting him on the rebound....not a good start huh.

As for your ego....look in the mirror girl.....that should help heal your ego a little faster....you're a beautiful woman.

I understand what you're feeling but don't dwell on it too long....feel it then let it go.
 Carole923
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 7
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:53:57 PM
It would be easy to male bash here and say they are all dogs, but of course that's not true. I am struggling with the same thing even though I told him to leave and find someone else..then he did, 2 days later, now a month later she's living with him and they are "in love" and she does his laundry and cleans his house.
What hurts me the most is that in a flash, after 4 years together (though I don't want him back) he just moved on in a heartbeat, so how could he have been in love with me? Did he love me or is this something men do? Of course the best way to get over one is to be with another, but he rubs it in and we are still in business together, I am so lucky, I see him all the time, but I am closing that next week and he can **ck off! He talks about her like I have no feelings, she's sexy, she greets him at the door, she never argues, sex is great......blah, blah, blah! So finally I told him how that hurts that he could just dismiss me and I never wanted to see him after the business closes, or hear from him again. That I was sorry I ever met him and I will do all I can to put it behind me. Out of sight, out of mind. I deleted all mail and photos and tore up hard copies and blocked email and IM's..I want to forget this ever happened, my feelings are so bruised by his actions.
What has helped alot is the book "Women who Love Too Much", showed me how my behavior helped the breakup and why I choose inappropriate men..hope I learn that lesson.
It's hard girl, hang in there, this too shall pass!
 SexyandBrainy
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 8
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 8:54:50 PM
I can honestly say that whatever it is that he is rushing into will NEVER last. he moved in with her after a month? lol Unless of course they were already seeing one another before hand...

As to why he did this...I find some people and men in particular are not as in tune with their emotions and so when it's time to feel pain they don't want to deal with it so they rush into a quick fix situation. From a very young age men are taught to supress their emotions and to not cry or act weak so as adults when faced with emotional aspects of life all they know how to do is supress so jumping into another relationship is a sure and easy way to not have to deal with feeling bad. I know it sucks to know he "has moved on" but either way you need to focus on you because if you do you will come out stronger rather than more messed up as will eventually happen to him.

regardless you are gorgeous and though you are def not ready to jump into anything else right now (I am assuming) take the time to go through the natural process of the split, that is the only way you will heal and leave your baggage behind...people who rush into new relationships straight away only bring more baggage with them and ultimately end up destroying what they "could" have had. In the end you want to focus on you are all that matters right now.

hugs to you and good luck!


Carole:


I see him all the time, but I am closing that next week and he can **ck off! He talks about her like I have no feelings, she's sexy, she greets him at the door, she never argues, sex is great......blah, blah, blah!


yeah of course it's great it always is when two people first meet...it's fun exciting and new and they have alreay rushed into living together... a) NOTHING kills a relationship faster than moving in prematurely b) wait until they get to know one another and the sex part starts to die down we'll see just how great and how much they have in common...
sorry but it would take a miracle for them to end in a blissful relationship. It can happen, sure, but it is rare.
I think perhaps you should cut him lose he is obviously telling you these things because he wants to get back at you and because he still had unresolved feelings for you...so I would not entertain his "confessions" anymore. I see you decided to cut all ties, good for you!!! who needs the heartache. good luck and good riddance to him...right? lol
good luck to you too. :-)
 daisie
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 9
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 9:03:14 PM
Either 1) You didn't mean all that much to him or.......2) You meant A LOT to him and this is his way to hide and "deal" with it or.........3) he's a scared little weenie who can't handle being alone or........4) his dirty clothes are piling up and he needs a babe who will adore him and his dirty undies or..........5) he's hungry and can't cook or.....6) you get the point don't cha?? It could be anything...every man is an individual. And you are unique as well, adore yourself, be confident and cherish what you had when it was good. After relationships "go bad" there is no explaining them....so just MOVE ON with your life!! He's digging his own hole now.
 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 10
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/19/2005 9:12:28 PM
It is standard that when couples break up, it's the men who hook up before the ladies do. Men use other women to heal their pain and us girlie Q's like to take the time to heal ourselves first. Now ask yourself..... who do you think will fare better???

Smooches,
Witchy
 comftn
Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 11
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 11:38:06 AM
Witchy nothing is standard. I've been seperated since January and the divorce will be final this month. Guess what I am not and have not been seeing any one. I've been using this time to get over her because I don't want to be that guy who talks about his ex all the time.
 happyhobbit
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 12
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:14:45 PM
No offense, but I've got to defend the guys here.

Can we say, double standard?

I've seen women do the exact same thing after breaking up with there partners. Why is it ok for one but not the other?

Oh, that's right because if a woman's heart is broken we are supposed to feel tremendous sympathy for them but if it happens to a guy, we tell him to just suck it up and move on.

I've seen women who have stalked the guy they dated and loved for months, even years
afterwards because they just couldn't understand why the guy didn't like them. Everyone always feels sorry for them and doesn't blame them because the "guy must have been leading them on, etc."

These are the same women when the roles are reversed and they are doing the dumping expect the guy to get over it imediately. The same women who backed up her crusade of pain now will be the same ones saying "suck it up loser, she doesn't dig you anymore."


The point is, do you want some cheese with your whine? Guys should suck it up, but so should the ladies. That's a little thing we call equality between the sexes.
 crooked smile
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 13
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how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:23:09 PM
TattoosAreAddictive says;
Relationships don't always affect the men as much as they do the woman. I'm not saying this is true of all men but as women we get very emotionally involved in our relationships whether it be dating or marriage. That's why guys tend to move on faster. I can't imagine too many men talking to their guy friends about how they miss their ex-girlfriends while eating ice cream and doing their nails,lol.

Relationship affects both sexes as much as each other. I feel offended that because I'm a guy that I don't feel as much pain as if I dump her. My friends are pissed at me because I'm always telling them how much it hurts and how much I miss her even when she treats me bad.
Thankfully they're there for me, just swop the ice-cream for beers.
Trust me when I say it's sometimes hard to be a man. We have just as much feelings as women.
And by the way my ex got a date who she is still seeing only two weeks after we broke up.
ps well said happyhobbit
 bikebowman
Joined: 3/28/2005
Msg: 14
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how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 12:54:45 PM
I feel for you girl!
Love is a precious thing, be it false, fake, real or anything else. When we lose it there is always pain involved.
All you can do is take it moment by moment.
 ZOFO
Joined: 6/30/2005
Msg: 15
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 1:14:31 PM
My heart goes out to you.People can say what they want.Being replaced hurts more than anything next to torcher you will ever experience.Simply because it stays within.The questions you ask yourself.Not to mention the questions you wish he would answer.It haunts you and your memories.Thinking is natural,feelings are too.We are all here for re asurance,since most of us are in pain in some way.Hang tight,there are many who have had there hearts tested.I am one of many on here.If I may be so bold to include the others we all understand.Remember,as this site suggests....There are Plenty of fish out there.Be yourself,and time will heal the wounds.Zofo
 fitchik
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 16
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 1:33:56 PM
men are only good for one thing...if you just look at it that way, you'll be fine!
 Carole923
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 17
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 1:35:55 PM

I think perhaps you should cut him lose he is obviously telling you these things because he wants to get back at you and because he still had unresolved feelings for you...so I would not entertain his "confessions" anymore. I see you decided to cut all ties, good for you!!!


Yes I did get rid of him by telling him everyone I know is so happy he's gone...we went ballistic. I think he does have unresolved feelings, but it's not my problem anymore what he feels. He was going to do my yard work (for money of course) but I told him forget it, I'd rather hire someone and 10 min later someone called and they agreed to do it for a good price. I did tell him I never wanted to see him, have anything to do with him, no contact and I was going to forget him like a bad dream..and you know what...I feel good about it, it's done and over and even when I see him again, I doubt I'll feel a thing. As for this relationship he has, I don't care now and all she got was my leftovers, and he's not that great, but if she wants him...she can have him.
Thanks for the support!
 deecide
Joined: 8/24/2005
Msg: 18
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 1:47:10 PM
Hmmm lemme see... You posted this thread on 8/15/05? Let me know if he's still with the same woman on 8/15/06 :)
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 19
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 3:51:11 PM
Bambi is a GREAT gal and any "man" who'd shack up with another one so quickly isn't all there!

She and I have shared a few conversations where her real beauty is unmistakable---it goes much further than what's seen on the outside! BTW--what we DO see is quite nice all by itself!!! Hubba Hubba!!

Over a few months of chatting and talking it's easy to see how someone could become quite smitten with her and like has been offered here her ex's new g/f is just a cover for the one he really misses. Despite how he acted and reacted it's possible he thought he was doing "the right thing" but this certainly can't be confused with that--no way!

One day he'll admit losing her was the biggest mistake he made no matter the part he played in it----missing someone seems to catch up with us when we least expect it!

You'll do good here Bambi----don't worry one bit!!


J W
 =CrackedHalo=®™
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 20
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:03:40 PM
I was dating a girl for four years, very serious. But with her being a roller coaster, and breaking us up 3 times.... it took its toll on me. After being apart (moved out) but still seeing eachother casually for a year, I was thinking it might be time to try it again. In that year... she loved and wanted me back so bad... that in the end, she married some other guy. Let me tell you... I have never been so depressed, down... to the point I had IMS, and needed treatment to boost my Testostarone levels, gained 20 lbs.... So.... I'm living proof, guys hurt too.
 digirl66
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 21
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:18:27 PM
I don't know that being replaced really hurts me or not. I look at what I went through in my life and couldn't imagine being in a relationship as quickly as he was. Never mind living with someone just after months of me ending the relationship. After 11 years you would think that taking your time and rethinking what the hell just happened here would be in order but everyone is different.

I feel that my ex got into a relationship so quickly because he couldn't make it on his own. He needed someone to satisfy him and make him feel like a man....Whatever!!! Keep trying loser.... He will never be half the person I am. He also needs someone to help him with the children cause he would be lost with three small kids on his own. Why wouldn't he get involved with someone that's going to do things for him.

I'd rather do it on my own and be damn proud of it.
 Appoloosa
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 22
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:35:24 PM
Witchy:

lmao... thanks for the laugh. My ex was warming someone elses bed in less than three weeks after we went our own way. She should have taken your girlie Q's advice to heal first.
 andysweden
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 23
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History
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:35:38 PM
I know it feels crappy for you, but its the rebound effect Im afraid.
Both sexes sometimes jump into a relationship after a breakup, mainly to fill the void.
Most of us have done it.
Cheer up.
He's not your problem anymore.
 remarkable
Joined: 9/16/2005
Msg: 24
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how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/20/2005 6:48:38 PM
hey bambi girl...my situation was very bad too...while i was busy working making her rich...she was out playing with her boyfriend...she had my kids meet him while we were still married...i fact they took a 'family trip' to disneyland...the divorce was bad enough...but i was replaced before i knew what was coming...of course he dosn't have any money...so i still support her (and him) as well as my kids (whom i would die for) everyone tells me i have to be nice to her for the kids sake...but sometimes when i come over to the house when the kids aren't around i just loose it...hope that's not to bitter...but i have hope on through this site (thanks to the net) i have met some really beautiful women...i have alot of hope and i'm holding out for true love...my hurt has nothing to do with ego...when kids are involved there is lifetime damage done to them...mark
 oneofakind104
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 25
how can he replace me so quickly?
Posted: 9/21/2005 11:12:56 AM
don't be offended by this but it's none of your business what he does or when he does it. is he supposed to wait for you to give him the OK before he can move on with his life? you two obviously gave up on making the marriage work so it's on to the divorce and move forward with both of your lives. i am happy for the guy that he found someone so quickly instead of feeling like a failure, feeling depressed and feeling lonely. unless you're planning on winning him back - i would suggest that stop thinking about something that is over and move on with your life as well.
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