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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 3:15:38 AM | Pre-nups are great depending on the laws of the State.
Also some Polygraph lie detectors if you live in Hollywood.
I suggest a half dozen good polygraphs before the pre-nup.
Why not? It's just asking some simple questions. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 3:26:53 AM | | I would never mary anyone who asked me to sign it. I'm not after someones money but if someone asked me to sign one it meant they didn't trust me. Lack of trust is no way to start a marriage. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 3:35:06 AM | It's good you expressed your feelings. I'd like to hear more about Women's feelings against it, because I do know they consider it almost an act of betrayal, and as you say a complete broach of the supposed trust.
To help explain my position, I never considered it before living and having relationships in Hollywood. I just would rather have it be a tool to help the past get out in the open so you can judge character and future motivations better.
But I do understand the female feelings on it. It's different than the Man's. I kind of understand.
Thanks for communicating on the subject. Please expound if you'd like. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 4:26:18 AM |
I would never mary anyone who asked me to sign it. I'm not after someones money but if someone asked me to sign one it meant they didn't trust me. Lack of trust is no way to start a marriage.
Ah yes, famous last words...just before they go for your jugular | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 5:40:42 AM | pre-nups befor marriage..........I am married so I dought I have to worry about it.......but I can, and can't see it, and here is why.
For.....If you have a lot, and most of your relationships never work out.
Not.....Because your saying in a loud way that you don't trust who you are marring. If your mate don't sign it, then you don't think they love you eaither.
Not.....Because if kids pop into the picture, what then.
Not ....Because what if you do make it, and you die after a lot of years together, your family
Might get money hungrey, and cheat your mate out of it, claiming you never wanted your mate to have it.
Its sad that people just don't take what they know is theirs, when they split, and the courts have to play the parent. My devorice, we knew who had what, and never fought over one thing. If we had maybe we wouldn't of got back toghter, and been toghter for the last nine years are so.
If he would die, and I met someone new. I could see it, because what right should someone have to walk in and if I died a month later, for them to have it all over my kids. Maybe thats why people have wills. But then the mate could fight it in court.
So what to think about this one. It is a hard call. I would say make sure you know the person you marry really, really well. Each to there own.
There is this to. Ask your mate to sign one, draw it up, and see if they will sign it, and when they say yes , and went to go threw with it, with no problem. Tare it up, because you got one you can trust, and isn't in it for the money. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 5:56:26 AM | I think couples should get divorced 1st, then the pre-nup and finally mariage. LOL
When I was younger and so romantically blind, I also felt that a pre-nup was an insult to our 'undying love and trust'for each other.
I would never marry anyone again who DID NOT want a pre-nup! That's when I would question the love and trust factor.
Think of a pre-nup as being like a marital living will. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:01:23 AM | | Pre-nups are good. Asking someone to sign is not showing distrust. Why? Because people and relationships change with time. They may have the purest of intentions when in love with you - that is not in question. But years down the road, emotions can change. People fall out of love. Thus the need for a pre-nup. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:23:31 AM | Pre nup for sure, it is different than when we were 20 and no one had anything and lets face it , things can get bad during a divorce.. fair is, leaving with what you brought into it and spliting what you accumulated together, put it on paper now and there is no room for discussions or fighting about it later if that time comes.
I had one with my ex and we put a clause in that adultry voided the whole thing ... | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:43:23 AM | divorce laws in most states pre-empt anything that would be in a prenup anyway. What the court tells you will and wont have is final, regardless of any other paperwork out there.
I also agree with the person that said it is distrustful. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:51:20 AM | | A divorce law only pre-empts a pre-nup if the pre-nup was unsound in some way. But if it simply splits things as they were when you entered the relationship, no divorce law trumps that. Divorce laws actually are so fair that pre-nups are not really necessary. A pre-nup simply discourages things going to court and if they do, it shortens it. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:53:24 AM | | So if I bring in 90% of the household items over the relationship and the law says I have to have half of that taken away from me, thats fair? That is what happened to me. 90% of what was in the kitchen was from me or my side of the family. Ditto for the rest of the house. So the choice was, live in an abusive relationship or have half of everything taken away? Oh yeah, thats fair. Not. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 6:55:40 AM | I'll take another step and say useless. Good or bad doesn't matter. At the most, a pre-nup will only afford you a minimal amount of protection from a rational person. However, there is enough case law on record that shows even the most "iron clad" of prenups are completely circumventable.
That said, I think they are generally a good idea. Some marriages do end with two rational people. | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 16 | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 17 | |
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jimb77
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:11:24 AM |
Divorce laws actually are so fair that pre-nups are not really necessary
laws have nothing to do with it, the judge/commissioner can rule any way they want. No one wants to hear the word "fair", that is a quote. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:14:11 AM | If there are considerable differences in what each person has upon entering the union, then a pre-nup is a good idea. It is fair.
If she protests, claiming trust blah blah blah as posted above, ask yourself why. Chances are you have much more to lose.
It is unfair to have to give up half your stuff.
When did money enter the equation anyway.
Divorce rates exceed 50% now, anyone who doesn't protect themselves against a losing proposition is a fool.
Yeah, I know it's unromantic. But what does money have to do with romance? | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:17:17 AM |
Yeah, I know it's unromantic. But what does money have to do with romance?
Brilliant!!! 
You can always find another romance, but replacing the things you have worked all your life to earn may never happen. That's why I say, avoid marriage all together. There's no full-proof method of protecting everything you have worked hard to achieve. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:26:50 AM | I think they're a bad idea...I don't want his money whether we're together or we break up...I can support myself. Having a pre-nup kind of implies you don't trust the person...and if you don't trust them why are you marrying them?
I was in that situation once...he felt that we should have a pre-nup 'just in case'...here I'm thinking we're going into this for the 'rest of our lives' and he's already planning on 'what if it doesn't work out?'...not a good way to start a marriage...good thing I didn't go through with the wedding ;) and no, it wasn't because of the pre-nup...it was because who he presented himself to be was not really who he was.
So, what's your opinion on them, guitarman? | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:36:23 AM | | Yeah, but, if you really love him and aren't concerned about his money, why should you balk at signing a pre-nup? I think the level of responsibility he shows by insisting on one should be admired. | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:49:46 AM | | Had I have known what I know now after a 20 year marriage going up in smoke...hell I would have bloody well had one in place....Pre-Nup that is. And " IF " I should ever get married again...." highly doughtful as all I seem to find is...lets not go there...OK "......There is no way I will get married without it.....I got cleaned out but good. Funny how that works she cheats on me and she gets almost everything....I get shown the door..... All I can say is..NEVER AGAIN.....NEVER...!!!!!! | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:53:09 AM | OTHER POSTING
I would never mary anyone who asked me to sign it. I'm not after someones money but if someone asked me to sign one it meant they didn't trust me. Lack of trust is no way to start a marriage.
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Well then sit back and get ready to say single for the rest of your life.... I trusted my wife and what did it earn me.....abuse, and being cheated on and the cleaned out...NO WAY..NEVER AGAIN...!! | |
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| Pre-Nups before Marriage --- good or bad ?
Posted: 9/21/2005 9:01:58 AM | FROM OTHER POSTING
I think they're a bad idea...I don't want his money whether we're together or we break up...I can support myself. Having a pre-nup kind of implies you don't trust the person...and if you don't trust them why are you marrying them?
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That is what you say now...but wait till your in court. And if you do not want his money and so on....then what is the problem signing a Pre-Nup then...???? | |
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