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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 5:22:22 PM | | Ya know what! I have been asking myself that same question. I have 2 daughters, not teenagers but still kids just the same. I find that men like you when they first talk to you and everything you have to say, but as soon as you mention you have children the vibe totally changes. I would not be a single parent if the man who had children with me was a responsable person. Isn't it admirable to take responsibilities for having children? Isn't it admirable to work full time and not ask a soul for anything? I mean it's not like I have the plague or anything, it's not like I don't have needs!! So I am in total agreement with your question-- do men actually date women who has children? And if not,, why? I mean I think it's sexy for a man to take care of his child,, why is it a double standard? So UNFAIR!! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:21:40 PM | | Oddly enough I find that it goes the other way around. I have found a lot of guys will go up and talk to a single mom. But if i go somewhere with my daughter every girl out there assumes that her mom is close by and that I'm off the market. Are caring fathers that rare to create such a stigma around them. Either it's a deadbeat dad or somebody elses man. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:33:43 PM | | I'm with you, shedevil! I find a lot of guys SAY they have no problem witht he fact that I have kids -- but it often seems when it boils down to it that they are scared to death of the whole darn thing! My daughters are very accepting and warm, and as soon as my girls start showing some affection, it seems like some guys pull back and don't want them to become "attached" to them. I don't get it! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 6:37:50 PM | i would be more than happy to date a man with kids...but the only problem is i dont know any..that are single that is .....i love kids the more the merrier..but i agree with dawn... it does make a difference...if there are men out there interested that have kids e-mail me...we can talk ...men with kids especially good lookin ones usually have a wife or gf near by...there are some but not many men that have their kids and spend time with their kids..i think it is comedable and a great quality that i would look for in a man
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 8:00:03 PM | | Shedevil I agree I was in a relationship after my divorce that was great he knew I had the kids and he would be at the house if they were there or there Dad's house. My little one was always so excited to see him. My oldest well lets just say she did not like the idea because se thought Mom and Dad were still going to get back together and my son well he just goes with the flow for the most part. All of a sudden when we had a girls night out and ended up at the bar he tends a few nights a week the girls were talking about some guys that was laughing about giving a girl Mono ... I know what a jerk right well it got me thinking and I asked him later that night that "if he was going to or did sleep with someone else would he have the consideration to tell me?" Well need less to say I got the I don't want a relationship with anyone .. not like I was asking for a ring again ... please not for me. It's just called respect. Since then I have really started seeing things like the outsider looking in. I have noticed that when women with kids get in a relationship we see things differently and the men we are attracted to are not well a nice way to put it ... truly happy with themself and they use the kids as the lever to walk away ... So I cahnged my attitude ... I became blunt right up front that I have three kids and they come first and you don't like there is the door ... Amazing the attitudes that I got before I don't get anymore. Good luck to you and take a breath just go have fun put your self first with your children and everything will happen. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 9:04:09 PM | | well i dont know aobut other women but i dont need money and i dont need a father for my kids..i just want someone ..a friend ...best freind ..lover..for me and a good friend for my kids....you dont have to be thier father....that was their own fathers job..they have gone 10 and 13 years without a dad....im lookin for me not them | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 9:11:36 PM | | my kids dont have a father in their life......never have and dont know any other life..i hve provided for them by myself and will continue too till they leave my house whether im with a man or not | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:03:26 PM | Yes, we exist. It makes dating you a bit more complex. If the kids (or me for that matter) get to attached it can be very heartbreaking for them to lose another male figure if things don't work. So I like to date a few times first with out the kids even knowing about me. It seems most women not only like the idea but insist on it. After all, all you mothers are looking out for your kids as well ;)
To bad I don't live in canada though.. I'm close though! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 10:09:13 PM | | I would like to find a man that would accept me even though I have 3 kids. Most men out there wont approach a woman of 25 who has 3 kids. All I want is a man for me, I am not out looking for a father for my kids. They already have one. I want someone to be with for me who will accept my kids not have to be their dad. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:10:32 PM | Okay...to summarize...guys see woman with children and see children running around like lunatics and no discipline and leave because they feel as though it is not their place to discipline the children...women see guy with children and see children running around like lunatics and no discipline and leave because they feel as though it is not their place to discipline the children...what a conundrum...bottom line folks is that both sexes don't really care if you have kids or not...its not a persona thing...its the fact that you cannot expect somebody to come in and take over...and when they do try and take over or discipline the children they get a rash of hell spawn...bottom line is this...make it known up front that you have children, but you will balance your time between them and the kids...also dont let them be in a situation where they feel the need to take over...put leashes on your kids...send them to grandma's...let the new person relax before they get tense...
***Note...this is not to indicate that you have unruly children...what it does indicate that your children do not want to see you have somebody other than their natural mother or father and they will definitely test the limits of a new relationship...and for gods sake...if you must have sex...make sure the children arent there! | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:15:57 PM | | One more thing...I think it is important to point out that I have 2 teenage daughters that have lived with me for the past 9 years and have been in a relationship where they attempted to sabotage everything (when they were much younger). On the other side I have been in a relationship where the kids were running the house because the woman I was seeing was expecting[/] me to take control...those are your kids lady...i dont want any trouble with the law! ...lol | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/27/2005 11:46:27 PM | | I think it is more difficult to be in a relationship when you or your partner has kids. I myself made the decision not to date seriously while raising my son. It's not the right decision for everyone but it was the best one for us. I watched a close friend who was a single mom bring different guys home and expose her daughter to these guys who really didnt care about her. I made the decision not to parade men through my home and I dont regret it. I did meet a single dad of five kids who I really liked. He was very good looking, had a home and job, but man were his kids in need of some guidance. One day we were discussing potty training and he told me he had no problems training his kids. If they 'went' in their pants he took them and put them in a cold bath. That was the last straw, I lost a lot of respect for him. Bottom line was they were not my kids and we had such differing views on parenting that it never would have worked. I've seen the 'odd' relationship work out, but it's very rare. I truly believe that if you have young kids and decide to date, it's best not to introduce your kids and your date untill things look like they may be getting serious. I know I'm in a minority with my way of thinking, but like I said, it's a choice I made and one I dont regret. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 12:09:26 AM | | Ok, I pose the same question with the sex reversed. I have 2 great,smart well adjusted girls in school that I help raise part-time, the ex and I dont squabble,my girls are amazing and have no problems adjusting to anything....why is it so hard to find a date that doesnt get concerned that I have kids? | |
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Looe
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Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 5:29:43 AM | Yes men do want to date women with kids. I for example accepted a entire family and moved from the Uk to Canada to be with them. Things were great untill my biological son showed up and then things started to go wrong. I was accused constantly of favouring him over the other children and this eventual caused a massive rift in the family which resulted in some events that casued the end of the marriage.
But thats one experience i have learned from. I am not saying i wouldnt date or be with a womna with children but i would be very aware of things the next time around.
As for me and my son we are looking for a part time mom any takers  | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 5:42:18 AM | | Yep we're around. I have two kids myself so why not date someone with kids too. At least they understand why you can't go out every night. Best of luck in your search. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 5:59:59 AM | | The men that date or enter into a relationship with women are defiantly out here. I was married for seven years and fully supported and paid for a Catholic education for her daughter. I saw her as my own child. After our divorce, I have a hard time meeting a woman that will accept my two boys. This isn’t a problem with men only it is also a problem with women also. With my current situation of being single and having two boys, I would prefer to date a woman that has kids, because they can understand the hectic lifestyle of raising kids. | |
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| do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 9/28/2005 9:28:28 AM | | I just want to add, I don't involve my children in my personal life. If i'm dating a man I try very hard to keep that seperate from their lives. I don't want to confuse them and have them get attacted to someone that may not be there forever. If however i'm getting serious about someone I of course would love them to meet my other half. It's just as soon as you tell a man you have children they think far to fast into the future. I'm independant and take care of my children and am neither looking for a bank or a father. I'm already both of those things, but truely if you love a woman you love their children because they are an extention of the mother. I find men with children very sexy as I said before, but I will agree most times I do think there is a wife or gf somewhere in the shadows. I think men think the same thing, when i'm not with my kids I get hit on, but when i'm with them its the total opposite. I just hope like all the other single mothers out there that there is a man out there somewhere who will accept me for who I am and for what I have to offer. That's all. | |
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