| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:02:54 PM | Someone on this site mentioned this to me and then someone else just recently mentioned it again in a completely different forum. What these people mentioned was that my profile could be considered intimidating because I specifically wrote it to appeal to educated, professional, ambitious types (which is what I'm looking for). It was mentioned to me that such a direct profile could intimidate some, which sounds odd to me since I'm just writing about who I am and what I want.
A girl mentioned to me that she has experienced a lot of guys being intimidated by her for these reasons. So I'm wondering if some girls might interpret some professional-type guys in a similar way?
Does anyone have any thoughts on this or maybe experienced something similar?
I never really thought about it until recently. And don't get me wrong, I'm not going to change my profile. I feel it's an accurate snapshot of me and what I'm looking for.
Thanks. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:39:45 PM | nope...I didn't find it intimidating. I agree that you write something like that because you are looking for a specific type of girl. It will only intimidate dummies and bimboes and that's not what you are looking for. It will weed out the wrong sort.
Good luck! | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:43:10 PM | I don't find your profile intimidating at all! I would go out with you! 
I have been told my independency and strong will are very intimidating, but you know what I just tell them to move on..........................I don't have time for such wimps in my life! Having someone who knows what they want and what they don't want is very impressive and a turn-on to most of us real women out here. I know I don't want a yes-man! I think you are beautiful and your profile is nicely written. You rock!
Pam  | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:45:32 PM | Not intimidating in the least...but I am assuming you meant to say that you have a natural smile...as opposed to nautral?? LOL
good luck...
Linda | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:47:22 PM | I kind of have the same expectations.
My rationale is this: if you begin to lower your standards, it just become pity dates/relationships ('cause you can't fully respect someone if their not what you're looking for).
If you settle for less, you'll be miserable.
I don't know though. I'd rather be miserable and single (which I'm not) rather than miserable in a relationship. I'm just not willing to take the risk of having a relationship with just anyone. I love talking about things like philosophy, politics, culture, economics, and even science (mainly issues, though anything to do about biology). If someone has no interest in them, fine. We all have different interests.
I'm not looking for perfection, a soul-mate, etc. I'm just looking for the right person.
Keep to your guns and best of luck...hopefully you'll be successful. Let us (or at least me) know how things work out. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:50:41 PM | | You will only intimidate those whose qualities won't match the ones you are requesting, therefore mission accomplished. ;-) | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:53:34 PM | There's nothing wrong with your profile,Intimidating  lol....
It's truly refreshing to read a man's profiles.That have something constructive to say on it...
And me enjoying intellectual conversation's, also being an ambitious woman myself. I would be more drawn to a man's profile that reads similar to your's..
All i can say to you is.They must want an un-educated, roughneck/trashy man...
If it's any consolation some guy's,feel slightly intimidated by me. Purely because of my job profession lol (enpowering women) | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 3:57:38 PM | Hello;
Intimidating no. Honest, thought provoking and perhaps a bit intriguing yes. The problem with honesty be it beautifully written as you have or more blunt and upfront is there are always those that will find such intimidating. Quite often this happens either from lack of understanding what they have read, mis-interpretation, self-comparison or wishful thinking at least in my experience.
You have in your own way expressed your desires in a way to attract your most desired mate. Now all that is left is to sit back and find her. Those that are intimidated need find their own for it is definately not you.
Live life and laugh;
Lori | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 4:32:58 PM | Thanks for all the responses. You've all kind of reinforced what I was thinking. For a while I wanted my profile to appeal to as broad of an audience as possible. The end result was a profile that was too vanilla and blended in with the countless other profiles out there. In other words, it wasn't a true representation of me.
So I finally just re-wrote my profile in a similar manner to the way I think. It certainly doesn't appeal to as broad of an audience anymore but I've learned that that's not the point. The point is to find my match, which may only happen to each of us once in a blue moon...which is what makes it so special when it does happen. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 4:40:03 PM | | No, I think it's well-written, as long as you're describing yourself accurately. The women who aren't too intimidated to respond to it are what you're looking for, anyway, right? | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:07:08 PM | | Personally, I haven't read your profile. I did not get the education I could have because I made personal sacrifice for my family and went to work. I was accepted to GA. Tech., Cal. Tech, MIT and many of the top technical universities in our country. It does stike a nerve when someone basis my intelegence on education. I have learn how to reprogram a computer and some foriegn language on my own plus many other things in life. I think it would be better to say you are looking for someone with similar intelectual stimulation and conversation. Professional is a level we put on people, like a stereo type. Occupation requiring higher academic education. That starts at birth learning to walk. Ambitious, showing great effort- strong desire for fame, power, etc. I think, A will to put forth great effort, achieve goals and strive for better things in our lives, would be better. Similar ambitions in life as well. I have high ambitions more of a spiritual, emotional and moral nature than economical. I also like to maintain a respectful physically fit, healthy lifestile. Just some ideas. No one likes to feel less than or left out. Do you? We all should be considerate and try not to talk down to anyone. Everyone has there place in this world and a right to be here. Would you clean out my sewer? Or pick up my trash everyday. We need these people too. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 5:20:21 PM | I hear what you're saying, Luke. My intentions are clearly not to look down on anyone. Your own experiences may have struck a nerve and caused you to look too deeply into what I'm saying.
I have my standards and those include a certain intellectual compatibility, professional accomplishment and well-balanced lifestyle. Just like those people who prefer a free-spirited sort of person, or a blonde or someone with dark eyes or someone who doesn't have kids, we all have our preferences for our own reasons. These aren't meant to make people feel badly but the fact is that there is a basic type of person that everyone on every dating site is looking for and we'd all be doing ourselves a disservice if we did not realize, understand and pursue those types of characteristics in other people.
An online profile is just a snapshot of someone and not an in-depth reflection of that person. I have met people who are very well-educated on paper but turned out to be fairly clueless. So I agree that education doesn't necessarily mean intelligent, but its a possible start. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 18 | |
| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 7:48:19 PM | | Intimidating? Seriously? NO wayyyy!! Unusual? Certainly...there aren't an excessive number of men around here with a high intellect. Good for you. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:08:43 PM | | Not intimidating at all! It's a refreshing change to see a profile that doesn't make me think "This guy's looking for one thing, and it's not sparkling conversational skills..." If a woman finds it intimidating, then she's obviously not the confident independent woman for you. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:29:55 PM |
No, I think it's well-written, as long as you're describing yourself accurately. The women who aren't too intimidated to respond to it are what you're looking for, anyway, right?
Well said. In agreement. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 8:36:46 PM | I'm unable to send you a message, but was mildly curious. What Asian background do you have?
I'll admit I'm highly appreciative of the varying Asian cultures, which is a major reason why I moved to Japan (since came back, but due to my own stupidity-and I mean extreme stupidity. Hey-nobody's perfict :) ).
And no, I don't ask everyone their background...just the interesting people I come across (then it's a no-holds-barred thing). | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 9:13:32 PM | Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Most women read my profile and immediately sit down with chin in hand and ponder to themselves "geez how could I ever get the worstguyonhere to love me" I've gotten past the floods of mail, incessant phone calls, breaker tripping amounts of e-mails and even manage to navigate my cart through the throngs as I have to choose my nightly date. I've numbed with the showering of gifts such as jewelry and even outright gifts of money. Yep me and you pal we have so much to offer.
Mind numbing self promotion will never go unpunished. | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 9:16:10 PM | | most women huh? and here i thought i was the only one who wanted the worstguyonhere..i hate competition..lol | |
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| Do you find this intimidating?
Posted: 9/29/2005 11:15:10 PM | Not self-promoting, just wanting to see what others thought of the general theory of whether a strongly-worded profile can be interpreted as intimidating. I know that sometimes a women's profile can be intimidating to some guys so I just wanted to know if it works both ways, specifically in my case.
However, I can see how you would think that, so we'll just have to agree to disagree about my intentions here. | |
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