| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:02:29 AM | I have been talking to someone for about lets say going on two months, gosh we get along so well and theres so much chemistry when we see eachother, sometimes we talk to eachother on the phone til we fall asleep.
My problem is that ok he likes me i like him but in the past he was hurt in his first long term relationship ,now hes afraid to let any other girl in, and even though we are really attracted to eachother hes not willing to give me a chance.
He told me he chooses not to let love in again. Its confusing cause u can see how he feels for me when he looks at me u can tell as well by his actions, i didnt want a relationship with him just yet but hes saying there will be nothing anyway, even though we spend all this time talkin an geting to know eachother like everyday.No we have not had sex , but we have kissed and that stuff.
Should i just forget about him and move on? or should i continue being there for him and showing him that love can come again? | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:11:48 AM | | If that's the case, I think the question you want to ask him is, "What are you hoping to get out of this?" Obviously, there must be something there if he spends all this time with you. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:18:06 AM | basically you have to have some kind of talk with him.
certain things need to be brought up. its one of those conversations you want to have but dont want to be the one to bring up. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:22:17 AM | | we have talked and i said ok since this is all you ever want then we are friends that means no physical touch between us. etc but its all crazy, how can two people be around eachother when feelings are going back and forth and you both no u want to be in the others arms, its rediculous. how can it work with us just behaving as friends? | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:23:00 AM | hes lying through his teeth.
hes just saying that so you start liking him more and more.. maybe get attatched to him becuase of it.
as soon as you leave he will change his tune.
so just walk away. tell him you cant have feelings for him while he refuses to let you in, because you'll end up getting as hurt as he is.
he will change his mind. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 11:39:20 AM | you can't "lead" him anywhere he doesn't want to go.
If he wanted it to go to the same place you do, he would do it.
Regardless of what HE'S doing/thinking you can't wait around for him to make up his mind.
Well I suppose you could but don't you have better things to do than wait around for that? | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 12:08:30 PM | | I will comment on this topic because I am sort of in the same boat. I know what it is like to be really hurt by losing a partner. I have lost two and neither was do to my fault. I was in a 9yr (she cheated) and a 5yr (unknown reason she left) but they really hurt me. Part of me never wants to be with someone again because that way I will never be hurt like that again. I personally would have rather had a cement truck run over me then to feel the pain I felt. Then there is a part of me that doesn't want to be alone and never feel love again. It takes time to fully get in a relationship after something has hurt you deeply. You are scared which is only natural but I will say this that feeling goes away as time goes on. Just take things slowly and don't rush. After all you have all the time in the world and if things are going good then just let them continue. Basically let things flow. Feeling are hard to control and you can't stop love from creeping in. As the love builds the walls come down. Just enjoy your time and things may and I hope they do work out. Have a wonderful day.... | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:03:50 PM | this guy has some kind of issue for sure....whether he didn't love his mother, or got burned in past relationship, or is too young (I didn't check your age profile tho), or he is playin ya. ETC At this point tataliana, you gotta decide what you are happy with. IF you are young, no need for a lifelong deep love committment.
Just dont get married and or get pregnant with this guy anytime soon, until his issues are worked out and you both finish college. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 1:05:12 PM | | You're only 21, so how old is he? If he's close to your age, then his comment to not let love in again doesn't hold much water. How can he go the rest of his life without letting love in? At some point, we all open our hearts and let love in with the right person, even after we've been hurt. It sounds like you're not the right person if he's not willing to open his heart for you. But your age is in your favor and I'm sure there are lots of decent guys out there just waiting for someone lke you! | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 9/30/2005 5:52:38 PM | Tatalinia, You are heading towards a road of pain.
Sometimes we really get along with someone, think they are the one for us, and no doubt, they are, or could be the one for us, but the timing is wrong. It's not time for him. He is honest enough to tell you that.
Atleast you've met him.
I talked to a girl for a year. She lead me on. I always thought something of it. But I am able to find peace in one and only one way. On my own.
You've got to let it be until the time is right. Because if you dont, you are going to get hurt.
Ofcourse, you will do what you will. You may go through the whole cycle, and get hurt, but you will have learned from it.
Either way, the choice is yours.
But just to let you know. There are no good nor bad. The experience is just different, and changes you. How you accept that change is upto you. I've done it. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 10:48:33 AM | | Who said anything about love? Does this guy think he loves you right now? Does he think that if you two hook up that he will fall madly in love with you? Do you love him right now? If the answers to these questions are no then who said anything about love?!? Why can't you just take things slow, go out with each other, hang out with each other, date for a while. Why do both of you have to JUMP into a relationship with each other. If he's iffy about getting into a serious relationship yet he really likes you and you really like him then see each other and take things SLOWLY!! When he gets to know you better I'm sure he will no longer reject you. You are a wonderful girl Althia, you're beautiful, smart, driven, and you have goals. Don't stress over someone who won't give you a chance, if you want it go for it, but like I said take it slow if it works out great...if not then it wasn't meant to be savy? You know what's right for you...good luck and I Wish You Enough | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 12:07:37 PM | aaah man.. that so sux!
You can't sit there and try to change his mind... I know that you might like a challenge... but when someone is chosing to keep ppl at bay.... Don't be upset when he doesn't come around.
Can you handle just being friends and hanging out ... or dating other people while you're dating him...
Cuz you may just be opening yourself up for some major hurten! | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 12:50:24 PM | because thats how your putting it to him,
you either need to show him the way (put it on him and if it's there then it's there) or just be his friend , it's on you. cuz if yall were gettin to know each other you have to be honset and your not bein, or he could just be leading you on cuz he's a galliss and has next girls and thats why he doesnt want a girl | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 1:33:31 PM | Do yourself a favor and just let it go cuz you will end up getting hurt. I am talking from experience. I was in a 6 month relationship with a guy with the same issues. he had a very low self esteem, very insecured and has trouble trusting and not wanting to be a relationship but we end falling for each other and gotten serious and one day he just left and without saying a word and just send me an email to just move on. I know its sad especially if you care about him but he has to deal with his issues first before he could deal with anything else.
Good Luck! | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 2:03:00 PM | Well... I was in a similar type of situation about a year ago. I had just gotten out of a relationship (with tonnes of not very good experiences)... my self-confidence had crashed, and my outlook on males was not a positive one. My current boyfriend (who was at that time just a friend, of course) started to show he was interested in me just a few days after I was out of my previous relationship. I definitely wasn't ready at that point. He let me know that he was there for me, and that I only had to decide when I was ready. And then he stepped back and let me determine how our relationship stood. It took me what seemed like forever, but eventually he made me see that not all guys would treat me like my ex did, and that he actually cared... and thats when we started our relationship. It was still rocky at first, with my emotions and self-esteem, but we got through it together.
All I can really suggest is that if he really is important to you, just be there for him...keep letting him know that you care... it's possible that it may take a while, but he could come around to you. | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/1/2005 9:34:09 PM | | well thanks everyone for your advice and input, i have decided to be his friend, an we have talked about it since then an he seems more open all of sudden , hes actually given it some thought and told me that things could possible go somewhere with us. Im not siting around holding my breath thats for sure Im dating around , im just going to be patient i decided if its meant to happen then it will, and for some reason i believe it will cause each day a person heals as im still doing that myself from a past relationship. Neither of us are ready for a relationship at the moment so for once in my life im taking it slow like a snail. We are continuing talking and geting to know eachother only time will tell i guess. Thanks for the advice. I will be there for him Im not rushing him nor do i want to. im just leting things flow . | |
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| Should I Just Let It Go?
Posted: 10/2/2005 9:31:04 AM | hmmm well how long are u gna wait round for him maybe he will truelly never change his mind if the guy knows u possibly would want something with him in the future and this was not going to happen for him how could he kiss u if he respects u. It's not your fault he has hangups about his ex we could all go round judging the next person over some1 else's behaviour but it's like a time I told my nan I'd never trust or love again she said what's the point in living then which is true life is short I now give a guy who seems genuinly interested the benefit of the doubt. To me it seems like some way of him getting your attention oh i like u an dwe chat all night about everthing n nothing but we will never be together because I have been hurt type of thing... pity only lasts so long though oh well hope u work something out
:) | |
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