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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 8:08:48 AM | No, it has nothing to do with us thinking that you "owe" us something. In fact, I absolutely hate that mentality...... you've built up sex in your mind, as some kind of "reward" for his good behavior, and his patience.
Yea.. you're using sex.
Sex is supposed to be mutually agreed upon, and mutually enjoyed........ NOT a bargaining chip you use when it's convenient.
Chances are... if this guy wanted to have sex with you after 2 dates, it's because he liked you, and was attracted to you. | |
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 5 | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 10:07:30 AM | it is the genre you are currently living in. your idiology regarding sex is most likely outdated and obsolete.
i have to agree with SSD. however, i respect your values and willingness to wait. and if he does like you, he will respect this as well. | |
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 7 | |
| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 10:12:18 AM | carlyjones ... The only reason men ask women out is sex.
amust2c ... With the list of restrictions you have on your profile, I wonder. Do you need a marriage proposal before even accepting an email ? | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 10:17:36 AM | | Hi! I share your opinion. I think men should behave as gentlemen, not as animals. Women should be respected. Well, I am conservative. And I don't share liberal style of life which is becoming more and more popular in these days. If a woman dates someone is because she would like to spend a nice time, having a nice conversation and feeling good with the person she is dating. I think first they must become very good friends, they must know each other very well. | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 10:22:38 AM | well if the guys you go out with really feel that way ...change your dating habits...split the bill...stop excpecting them to pay for you.... maybe you are putting out that pay for me v/and i will sleep with you vibe... hell ....maybe be up front that you aren't looking to get laid up front and they won't expect anything ...just seems to me you have to change something in what you are doing the guys are following your QuE...
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 10:26:30 AM | most men do know that no means no, many women send mixed messages
i have done it before and so have every woman i know. when we get response from guys we do not like a certain way or when our minds change we start yellin....respect my bonderies
let's just be real up front there won't be a problem i am finding it saves me a lot of grief | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 11:55:05 AM | I dont see why it matters? I mean if you are an adult you know this....
Sleeping with a guy on the first date usually means theres not going to be much else going on. but my question on all this is if we are adults lets tell it like it is. If you just want something sexual then SAY that. Nothing worse then starting to like a guy and finding out later it is what it is.
I think the rule of thumb is dont cuddle with him if you dont know. Cause I know that sex + cuddling = attachment.
Yeah Im a horrible speller. Hope this made sense. | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 12:12:49 PM | /quote No, it has nothing to do with us thinking that you "owe" us something. In fact, I absolutely hate that mentality...... you've built up sex in your mind, as some kind of "reward" for his good behavior, and his patience.
Yea.. you're using sex.
Sex is supposed to be mutually agreed upon, and mutually enjoyed........ NOT a bargaining chip you use when it's convenient.
Chances are... if this guy wanted to have sex with you after 2 dates, it's because he liked you, and was attracted to you.
Man, I couldn't have said it better myself! Ditto!
;-)
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 12:16:56 PM | Dating is a part of the stupid human mating rituals. If you are on a date, you are on a date and if you are out as friends, then that’s what it is.
Here is a thought.
Don’t ever date anyone you couldn’t see yourself naked with. Then the argument becomes moot. | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 12:29:37 PM | @ Ratita,
Just because a man desires you, he is an animal? Gentlemen like sex too, believe it or not. And wanting to have sex with someone doesn't diminish the level of respect they have for the other person. This whole idea of using sex as a weapon, like Single said, is precisely the reason there are so many women who have never really had good sex. If you place all these rules and limitations on it, treat it like a contract that has to be met, you take all the passsion out of it! There is no 'special magic flower' a woman must protect from predatorial men. It's sex! What about people who don't desire relationships? Should they be celibate? I don't know whose medieval notion it was that sex had to be this secret precious thing. I think that's a ploy they used to use to keep girls from getting pregnant....but now we live in the age of contraception! Sex can be so many things...it can be tender and loving, and it can be low down dirty and rough. But you can't always expect sex to be wrapped in this perfect package with a pretty bow handed to you by a guy who has been waiting oh so patiently for eternity just to get you naked. If you're not comfortable with having sex with him after two dates, then don't. But don't just not do it because of some outdated notion about women controlling the situation with sex. It's not your GIFT to a man! Quit with all the damn rules about it ladies! You're KILLING it! | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 1:28:22 PM | | What if one of you died tomorrow, think how you might regret not making love to that person. Thats why I want to have sex ASAP with every woman I meet. | |
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| Why do men think that after only 2 dates.....
Posted: 10/6/2005 3:26:23 PM | It's not a 3 date rule, it's a 3 date rule of thumb. If things go well, then it could happen on a second date, or heaven forbid, the first date. But by the third date, you know each other better, and are more comfortable around each other. By that time, you've both ate around each other, burped or farted, had some sort of embarrassing moment (the burp or fart qualifies in that respect) or two happen, talked for hours, shared some secrets, blah blah blah.
It's not a time limit like that. It's not like guys say "ok, if I'm not getting any action by the third date, I'm movin on to the next one!" We give you 4.
It's a little honesty on both sides. If you never have any intention of being intimate, then let thr guy know. It's only fair. I know there has to be some sort of "connection" or "feeling" there, and let's face it, you girls know the minute you see meet someone if they have a chance with you. Tell the poor **stard before he wastes another lobster dinner on you thinking he's gettng close.
I will say that if by the fifth date, if there has been no progress in the intimate part of a relationship, time to move on because there's obviously no chance of it happening. At that point, it's a girl friend and not a girlfriend. Big difference.
That's about it.
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