| nun joke
Posted: 10/7/2005 7:08:39 AM | Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game
whose head gear partially blocked the view),
three men decided to badger the nuns
in an effort to get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going
to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."
The second guy spoke up and said,
"I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."
The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho,
there are only 25 nuns living there."
One of the nuns turned around, looked at the
men, and in a very sweet, calm, voice said,
"Why don't you go to Hell ... there aren't any nuns there! | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 5/4/2006 8:23:01 AM | that's pretty funny i never thought i would read a joke that had nuns saying something like that. | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 5/4/2006 1:50:47 PM | The convent was nearly out of money, so the Mother Superior let Sister Catherine take the
last few hundred bucks and go to the horsetrack in a "Hail Mary" attempt to win enough
dough to pay all the bills.
Sister Catherine was guided by a tout who provided her with a program and directed her toward two bookies that he recommended named Roberts and Marcus.
Sister Catherine glanced through the race program until she found a horse named
Leviticus in the fifth race. He was a long shot. Sister Catherine began to pray that the
horse with the biblical name would be her salvation, and the convent's, that afternoon.
The Sister waited to see if Leviticus scratched, but as the fifth race neared post time,
he was still on the board at better than 80-1 odds. Sister Catherine went over to
Roberts and Marcus' window and put her whole handle on Leviticus, to win, in the fifth.
He won by two lengths at better than 80-1.
When Sister Catherine got back to the convent, she couldn't wait to relate to the Mother
Superior how well the day had gone, beyond her wildest dreams. All her prayers for the
convent were answered. She excitedly told the Mother Superior every detail, and her
crowning glory was to present the convent with the entire winnings of thousands of
dollars.
"Oh, 'tis a fine thing, indeed," said the Mother Superior, "but perhaps we should have
Christian empathy for the bookies who had to pay out this huge sum today. Surely,
Sister Catherine, they must have been quite upset when you came in with the winner
at these odds."
"Oh, not at all, Mother Superior," Sister Catherine responded with great joy and relief,
gushing the rest of the story. "That's the beauty of it. Nothing could spoil our day.
These gentlemen were in fact so thrilled for us, that they pronounced a Holy Blessing on the spot. I showed one of the two gentlemen the winning ticket, and he turned to his partner and said with unbridled emotion,
'Jesus Marcus Leviticus Rectus!'" | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 6/6/2006 9:09:31 AM | HAHAHA...Im loving these jokes. Nun with attitude... | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 6/6/2006 8:49:53 PM | Two nuns were driving down a road at night when suddenly a small devil fell out of a tree and landed on their windshield.
The nun at the wheel swerved several times, operated the wipers, but the devil clung to the car and grinned in at them through the windshield. Every once in a while, he struck the windshield with one hand, and each time it seemed ready to break.
"What do I DO, what do I DO", wailed the nun at the wheel.
"Show him your cross!", shouted her passenger.
At that, the nun at the wheel scowled deeply at the devil and yelled as loudly as she could "GET the F**K off the D**N CAR, you little B**TARD!!!" | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 8/14/2006 8:12:23 AM | wow never seen so many nun jokes where they all have some attitude | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 8/14/2006 12:39:53 PM | | rofl, pukka.... would love to see these nuns in a video comedy sketch..that would have me in stitches... | |
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| nun joke
Posted: 8/14/2006 12:43:36 PM | A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she is very ill and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees to accomodate her, but the nun explains that she can't have sex with anyone who is married as that would be a sin. The bus driver says No problem, he is not married. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she will have to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again. Being the only two on the bus, they go to the back of the bus and take care of business. When they were done, and he had resumed driving, he said "Sister, I have a confession to make. I am married and have three children". The nun replies: "Thats OK. I have a confession too: My name is Dave, and I am on my way to a costume party".
A priest decides to pay a visit to a nearby convent.
The convent is in a run-down neighborhood, and as
the priest walks down the street several prostitutes
approach and proposition him.
"Twenty bucks a trick!"
These solicitations embarass the priest who lowers
his head and hurries on until he gets to the convent.
Once inside he displays his naivete by asking the
Mother Superior, "What is a trick?"
She answers, "Twenty bucks -- just like on the outside!"
Three nuns are walking down the street, when a man jumps out and flashes them.
The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, the third one
didn't touch him.
hehe
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