| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:19:55 AM | Any suggestions for this? How do you go about telling someone you're dating who you really like that you have herpes? There's such a stigma even though its not that serious of an issue that many people never even bring it up, which is obviously how I got it, lol...
If I didn't care about the girl I probably would just be safe and not tell her (sounds harsh but that's what happens) but this is someone I could see a future with, so I would want to come clean before we got intimate so... help me out here people. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:24:50 AM | | Um, lol, the thing is for the rest of you who aren't aware, Herpes is a virus, you always have it. You only get outbreaks once in a while, and for me its not that bad. But it's something you'll always have, so unfortunately lisa, that isn't a solution. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:28:03 AM | | I hear that females are more willing to accept guys with Herpes than the other way around. Maybe you should tell her immediately, because if a guy waits until I really like him to tell me, I would be pretty upet. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:33:15 AM | But how long should I wait before telling her? I know we wouldn't be hitting the sheets soon anyway because she's a virgin... but eventually we'd start fooling around,
I'm just trying to figure out how long to wait to see if we really like each other and its someone who I'd want to take the risk of telling that too, yet at the same time I wouldn't want to wait long enough to where I stop in the heat of the moment and don't tell her why.
Honestly, how would you girls react if a guy you were dating told you that he had herpes? Honestly. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:41:20 AM | In my opinion, it's better to tell her as soon as possible... don't wait for the right time... time will never be perfect for this... Give her time to think if she still wants to be with you. This way, it's fair for both side.
How would i react if someone told me that? honestly, I would think twice ...but then again it depends how much i like being with that person. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:48:05 AM | | I think the infected ones should be permanently branded, perhaps a tattoo on the arm letting everyone know what's up. Would save some awkward conversations later on. | |
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asg468
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 10 | |
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dud
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Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 12 | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:53:57 AM | Out of respect for her just tell her straight up, don't get angry and say it, just tell her...
Let her decide on how it goes from then on. But you have to be willing to accept that if she doesn't want to take the chance, then she won't do it..
You should always tell the person you are thinking about have sex with if you are infected with anything, regardless if you care for them or not. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:56:08 AM | | i would rather have that person tell me straight up at this moment that he's infected... before being intimate .... next thing you'll know.. he's calling you.. saying.. oh by the way.. i have herpes.. have a good day... | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:58:56 AM | | Ya, I'd definitely do it before that... I'm just wondering like how I should go about it, and how long I should date her before bringing it up... I wouldn't want to do it right away before we really knew each other, but I also wouldn't want to wait too long. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 9:59:42 AM | Lots of virgins on these fourms!
I was thinking the same thing...Hell I thought they were extinct, or at least on the "endangered species" list....lol
hahaha...dont worry about it ...Isnt it every "young virgins" dream to have her first time with a guy weilding blister covered meat? No?... | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 10:11:00 AM | get her drunk and tell her.. LOL just kidding
take her someplace where you both can talk... coffee shop or take a walk...when you feel that she's comfortable with your company, just say: there's something you should know...
go from there... she will need some time to think it through, but you have to be ready if her decision is not to go forward as well.
my 2 cents. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 10:19:10 AM | Seriously, I recommend you try a web search for singles with herpes...you would be able to find someone in a similar condition, and "bump uglies" to your hearts content without infecting anyone else.... I really doubt you will find someone on this site after admitting to an incurable STD. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/10/2005 4:33:49 PM | I think the infected ones should be permanently branded, perhaps a tattoo on the arm letting everyone know what's up. Would save some awkward conversations later on.
Disgusting. (not to mention that this would include 80% of the population).
Well, wait until you know it's going 'there' (sexually) then tell her. I wouldn't wait until the moment before, but if you think the relationship is getting more serious, please, do tell her. You wouldn't want to give the same curse to her that you got given to you without your consent.
I'm sorry this happened to you. :(
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/11/2005 6:04:41 AM | When do you tell her? BEFORE the 1st kiss. It is humane and rightful to let someone know before they become intangled emotionally and physically. There is growing evidence that herpes type 1 or some strains of it can lead to type 2. Also,some who have type 2 also carry type 1. It is documented that type 1 can be transmitted through a kiss. Be humane,THINK,wouldn't YOU want to know BEFORE you got it?
How to tell her? Open mouth and speak Talk in the same way you ask her to go on a date,in the same way you tell her you like her.
To try to wait longer or create special(more than normal) ambiance,or to wait until she likes you more,is VERY DISRESPECTFUL,DECEPTIVE and MANIPULATIVE not to mention awfully SELFISH.
I feel for you in that you have a condition that will last the rest of your life. Think of THAT,in making your immediate decision to tell her.Its the ethical thing to do.......NOW. | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/11/2005 8:49:53 AM | Whoathere, Marathonman. Before spreading what could become misinformation through the ambiguity that surrounds your post, some links would be appreciated. For one, type 1 herpes is the common cold sore and yes it can be transmitted to the genitalia but cannot 'mutate' into another strain such as type 2 herpes.
Of course type 1 can be transmitted through a kiss, that's how most of us got the common cold sore when we were kids and aunt Thelma gave us a greeting with a kiss and voila....
I absolutely disagree that he has to tell her NOW. He should tell her when he feels that the relationship is definitely heading down a sexual path. Not when they don't know eachother well enough yet. The sooner is not the better as he has to protect himself too. He owes her the truth, and she owes him a demonstration that she can be trusted with it.
Now, for those links...please? I'm curious where these have been documented. :D | |
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dud
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Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 22 | |
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dud
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Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/11/2005 9:17:04 AM | | ok, you're right. again. dammit you always do that bab! ok, forgive me if this sounds like a dumb question, but, well id assume that there shouldnt be any contact with that area ie. girl getting fingered, guy getting jerked. im right, right? like, if your hand...? well you know what i mean | |
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| How to tell someone you have herpes?
Posted: 10/11/2005 12:09:14 PM | Whoa there, Babylonia. Before spreading what could become misinformation through the ambiguity that surrounds your post, some links would be appreciated.
This is 1 of the points I made "There is growing evidence that herpes type 1 or some strains of it can lead to type 2. "
Here is a qoute: In the past, HSV-1 rarely caused genital herpes, but that is changing, especially among people who begin having sex at a young age. Still, in most cases, genital herpes is caused by the second type of herpes virus (HSV-2).
Link:http://my.webmd.com/content/article/52/49855.htm?z=1814_00000_0014_rl_01
This is what I said:" It is documented that type 1 can be transmitted through a kiss. "
Now,does this REALLY need to be verified? COME ON NOW! good greif! I think you even admited this in your post. It doesn't seem fair to challenge and ask for links and such without FIRST providing some to the contrary. Anyway,I have provided a link and a quote.
By the way,type 1 oral blisters/sores are NOT as common as the common cold perhaps 20% of the adult population have suffered from them however.
I absolutely disagree that he has to tell her NOW
The "NOW" that I commented on concerns IF they are the point of kissing.
I absolutely disagree that he should wait until "they know eachother well enough" Well enough is at the stage of kissing IMO. Our opinions differ that is fine.Here are my reasons:
1)kissing for MANY people is a sign of affection, a sign of care.SOME become more bonded through kissing. In this way kissing COULD(given their age and her inexperience) be a bonding factor that could have real ties and consequences when she finds that he has PUPOSELY LEAD her down this path without full disclosure.This is DECEPTIVE,deception by omission. To wait is also MANIPULATIVE.
2)He CLAIMS to care and like her.
3)The mere POSSIBLITY of contamination(emotional or physical) of someone so young and inexperience(virgin) is reason enough to DISCLOSE
4)This seems VERY SELFISH "sooner is not the better as he has to protect himself too" ...it would seem to me that PERHAPS, IF he were with someone more ethical he would have been protected so as not to have gotten genital herpes in the 1st place or at LEAST he would have made an informed decision without the added element of being young and emotionally involved BEFORE becoming informed.
When do you tell her? BEFORE the 1st kiss. It is humane and rightful to let someone know before they become intangled emotionally and physically. . | |
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