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 TheBroMan
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 1
What I've learned from my past relationships...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Since we all have had past relationships before I have compiles a list after a lot of soul searching. I would like to see how many people can relate to what I have listed here. Please comment.
signed ,
The BroMan

1. Dreams can be shattered and you learn from them to create new and improved dreams, after all life does goes on.
2. I am worth something and it is their loss not mine.
3. I know that it does not have to be about blame when a relationship ends that's where maturity kicks in.
4. Sometimes the best way to love them is to let them go.
5. Love needs to work both ways!
6. I have a saying "Don't hold it in tell you hate me!" .
7. Marriage vows are sacred and should not be entered into lightly.
8. Love is not just through the good times but the true test of love is when the going gets tough!
9. For better for worse means stand by your spouse and be supportive.
10. Be true to yourself if you care about someone when wanting them to know you.
11. Fathers should always stay involved in their children's life no matter how many times he may be shunned from his children.
12. Remain positive and know God doesn't give you things that you can't handle.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 2
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 12:18:51 PM
Good list. Mine would be:
1. I’m as disposable as the next guy. This was important for me to learn.
2. No matter how much you put into making it work, there’s no guarantees.
3. People lie.
4. Marriage vows are meaningless.
5. Your children will instantly become much, much more important than your mate.
6. Nietzsche = god is dead. YamIhere = love is dead.
7. People will let you down more often than they will surprise you.
 squirrly
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 3
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 12:36:05 PM
one thing is for sure...its all subjective. Mine is

1. happily ever after really is just in fairy tales.
2. that I have the capacity to love so completely that it overshadows everything else.
3. People lie
4. some people can never commit
5. my kids are the most important thing in my life but they are not my reason for being
6. nothing is black and white...everything is grey
7. people who need people are not the luckiest people in the world
 -Horrible/Brazen-
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 4
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 12:37:42 PM
I've learned:

1. To speak my mind.
2. To compromise.
3. To love and know myself before I try to love and know another.
4. To not settle.
5. To not have unrealistic expecations.

I'll think of more later. Great thread.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 5
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 12:39:18 PM

6. nothing is black and white...everything is grey

Hmmm ... maybe that's why I can't understand relationships and why people subject themselves to such torture.
 no angel
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 6
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:02:22 PM
1.Actions speak louder than words,
2. communication is vital.
3.Dont look for someone to make you a whole person.
4.Dont go to sleep on an argument.
5. dont commit to someone unless your 100% sure theyre right for you.
6.Dont take all your anger out on the one you love.
7. dont lie.
8. Appreciate what you have on a daily basis.
9. Your partner is not a punch bag.
10. Spend time pampering each other every week.
11. Dont compare your partner to past loves.
12.Let your partner you know how much you care.
13. Dont get too serious too fast.
14. Dont expect your partner to see life exactly as you do, we are seperate realities.
15. dont let your partner abuse you, and get away with it by saying sorry...walk away.
 My.02 Cents
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 7
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:09:26 PM
Good lists...well, some of them at least!...

1. All men are NOT the same.
2. It's MY choice how I choose to view the world. My experiences are my own, but they don't have to determine my future.
3. Go SLOWLY and listen CAREFULLY...people will eventually tell you exactly who they are!
4. Love, relationships, sex...are all words that mean something different to everybody!!
5.People assume that when we use the same words that we mean the same thing...the birth of miscommunication!
6. Love is NOT something that "happens"...that's an idea borne from fairy tales and Hollywood...But is something that you get right with practice.
7. Loving someone is an ongoing act of WILL...not a feeling.
8. More important than love is forgiveness.
9. Nothing lasts "forever'...every single relationship you have, is ultimately, temporary.
10. I'm only as sick as the relationship that I choose to stay in!
D.
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 8
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:10:11 PM
That I can't take all the broken men in the world and fix them one at a time. And I shouldn't try to.
 squirrly
Joined: 6/8/2005
Msg: 9
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:13:54 PM

9. Nothing lasts "forever'...every single relationship you have, is ultimately, temporary


oh a real important lesson to learn and one which takes years to figure out. Kinda sad though.
 inkedbabe
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 10
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:43:06 PM
That I cant have a serious relationship with younger men
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 11
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:43:19 PM
^^^And a good reason to spend one's time doing something productive
 Paleone
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 12
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 2:37:26 PM

That I cant have a serious relationship with younger men


I very much agree with that. Every younger man that talks to me says, he's different. I have given them chances and its always ended the same. I will stick to older men thanks!
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 13
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 5:06:30 PM
1. Your fears will get in the way only if you allow them to.
2. Fears are often misconstrued as intuition.
3. Love becomes conditional when it's not love.
4. You can love someone but occasionally dislike them.
5. We all have our demons, and remembering that will make you a more understanding partner
6. Communication isn't all about getting the right words out, it's also about listening to what's being said between the lines.
7. It's very possible to love someone who can't love you back, and it's not your problem, or theirs, it just isn't meant to be.
8. Spitefulness is immature, and there's no room for it in a successful adult relationship.
9. Respect should always accompany love.
10. You can't make someone love you.
11. Running/pushing someone away out of fear is a lonely way to live.
12. (Borrowing lyrics from a song) You got to know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.

I'll add more later...I have tons! I guess that's a good sign, huh? It must mean I'm learning from my mistakes.
 missy_pq
Joined: 3/21/2005
Msg: 14
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 5:14:58 PM
1. You should never try to make someone feel important to you until you know they really are.

2. Be careful what you divulge to someone early in a relationship.

3. Don't believe it until it's proven

4. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you treat them

5. It takes 2 to make it and 2 to break it.

6. Don't show your fears or insecurities; men see that as a weakness
 riffy
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 15
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 5:40:57 PM
This is a great thread.

1. The heart screams and the mind whispers. Idiots bellow opinions to appear intelligent.
2. Patience is only a virtue if it is not misplaced.
3. Seeing my own mistakes makes me wiser. Seeing others mistakes amuses and saddens me.
4. HER problems should not ruin MY life.
5. Though I have endured more than I have deserved, I am willing to give someone else a chance.
6. If it really feels like something is wrong, then something is wrong.
7. I should have walked away the first time.
8. It isn't about compromise, It's about not forcing the other to compromise.


-> YamI - I always read your posts and I have come to respect the thoughts you choose to share. I sincerely hope that you get past your cynical views at some point. If you believe that you are a good person and capable of more than what has been shown to you, then you must believe that there is someone capable of giving you the same right? Cheers.
 good2bebad
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 16
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 5:50:31 PM
When you try, you aren't

When you don't care, others do.

You are only worthy as you think you are.

The friends zone is a black hole. Being a nice guy is the 'event horizon'

If you spend more time focusing on the lack of having a relationship, that is what will continue in your experience.

Be careful the girl of your dreams isn't a nightmare.

Don't introduce them to your better looking friends.

Call her before she talks with her friends after you have sex with her or her friends will gang up on you, slap you in clubs, or, your partner will say really bad things about you in bed to them.

Your beliefs and inner vibration/emotions attract your experience like an observer is said to colapse the wave function.
 TheBroMan
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 17
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 6:25:13 PM
These are GREAT lists! :) I appreciate everyone sharing. Okay now since we have listed things we have learned from past relationships. Would it make sense to share this list with someone that you care about or will one day care about and visa versa?

With all these things we have listed and learned, will they be applied in our next relationship? Or will it be a wall which prevents us from moving forward and feeling vulnerable again?

Food for thought

TheBroMan
 pjsac1
Joined: 1/4/2005
Msg: 18
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 6:55:44 PM
I've learned to agree with the woman. You'll never get anywhere trying to prove a point. Just make them feel that they are right even when their not :-)

Words to live by

PS: Iv'e lerned alot more but thats the most important (LOL)
 TheBroMan
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 19
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 6:57:39 PM
You are definitely right pjsac1. We have a saying in my family "yes dear". lol
 skootzkitty
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 20
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:02:10 PM
1. There is no such thing as a mistake as long as you learn something.

2. You can't carry the bad of the past with you, it colours your future.

3. Walls may keep your heart safe, but they keep too much of the good in, and out.

4. I am FAR stronger than I ever imagined I was!

Slainte!
 Ineedu2
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 21
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:03:40 PM
Hello I am new here, I just thought I would say hi and introduce myself. This seems like a good place to start
 Ms. Picky
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 22
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:05:25 PM

3. Walls may keep your heart safe, but they keep too much of the good in, and out.


Amen!
 Ineedu2
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 23
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:29:57 PM
I've learned to be more patient, to look at every relationship as a learning experience, whether good or bad. A person may come into our lives for a long time or only a moment to aid us and help us. It may be hurtful or joyous but theres a meaning to all of our relationships. If we look hard enough we may realize why that person came into our lives, we may realize immediately or later on when we meet someone new. Hopefully if we wait long enough we will find that perfect right person for us
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 24
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What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:46:50 PM

If you believe that you are a good person and capable of more than what has been shown to you

Hmmm ... I don't know that I am, on either count


then you must believe that there is someone capable of giving you the same right?

If it were only a matter of the heart, or "love," then perhaps. But I've pretty much lost all confidence in the civility of humanity.
 Ineedu2
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 25
What I've learned from my past relationships...
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:55:14 PM
Don't give up, I know I have felt that way many times myself. I truely believe in fate. I also believe that if we didn't see the bad then how would we appreciate that wonderful person who comes along later. Done' bring your unwanted baggage into any new relationship. I try very hard not too myself. I know every person is unique and different.


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