| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 10:36:13 AM | OK there is this girl, she started a relationship with a married man. She was unhappily married also to an abusive man.The relationship was based on sex and 420, they "dated" for awhile. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but didnt know how to leave the marriage because she just wanted the husband not to drink and be just a little more attentive and a little less abusive. The man she started the relationship with had worked with the husband and lived five houses down the street around the corner. They were all friends, except for the other man's wife she was a nasty mean person who used her kids to hurt people. Another story there. One day the girl decided she had enough and told the other man she couldnt see him any more and she told the husband she couldnt take the drinking anymore and she dropped him off at his brothers house with an " I'll always love you" She went home and moped wondering how she ever let her life get this crazy. Hanging out with her neice whom she picked up from the husbands borthers house and her own kids they chilled for the night.
The next afternoon the other man cals and says he has left his wife, because they are friends she listens and when he is finished telling his story she tells him she dropped her husband off and is getting a divorce. He asks "what now?" they laugh together because they feel they were meant to be. SHe isn't thinking clearly and wants someone to hold her and say it's all going to be alright. They meet and decide to go away to a camp his family owns. SHe packs hers kids and neice up and head off into the sunset. Shes worried about spend her first night with him, what if she snores, what if she drools what will he think? She puts those fears aside because this is the first man she has ever felt like she could be herself with. He liked her for who she was (or pretended to be). She is great at putting on a show.
They fall alseep in each others arms and wake up to a phone call and lots of chaos. The husband calls and knows where she is and who she is with and the other mans wife knows too. The phone rings all day long and they get home to a trashed house and angry people.
It has been one dramatic event after another and threw the storm they have stayed together. It wasnt easy it has been pretty hard, but they were doing it for true love and happiness. The other mans wife causes a lot of problems uses his kids to get what she wants lies cheats and does whatever she can to torment the girl that stole her husband(she didnt like him anyway) Three years have gone by and things are finally looking good for the girl and the other man, Except there is no trust, they were supposed to have an open relationship. It was ok if he saw other woman as long as she was his girl the one he came home to the one he treated with respect. But he didnt always treat her with respect and though he came home most of the time he treated her different than before. She used to be the one he ran to for satisfaction, she used to be his goddess, he used to make her feel like the world, his world revolved around her. She missed that and got jealous of the other people he was trying to have in his life because she felt they were getting what she wanted and had grown used to. The girl told him how she felt and he told her she was his girl he loved her and the other women meant nothing to him. They have had threesomes together, they have do so many things they never thought of doing before together. They are bonded by the pain and loss and triumph of their actions that seperated their families. Her kids live somewhere else(not with their father he isnt safe) and she live with him in his parents house. They have a dream of building on land the he purchased while he was married and he took her there and made love to her, she refers to that place her rock. Now that the divorces are final, things have settled down and the other mans wife cant cause so much chaos, the girl has lost her mind, she is yelling and screaming and hitting. She is hateful angry and jealous. She dosent believe he loves her, or she dosent want him to. She is used to people hurtting her. Now at this time that land was appraised and they can get finaced to buy that home so she can live with her kids and the more she wants it the more she acts crazy, she loves him and dosent understand that if she satisfies him why does he look elsewhere She would smile more if she wasnt always worrying he is with or looking for someone else a or trying to replace her she has seen some of his im's and emails he says the same thing he is single hes looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with and have kids with. The girl has had a few miscarriages and isnt even really supposed to be able to get pregnant, she had her tubes tied but some freak happening one semi reattached. She thought she was the one he wanted to spend his life with, so why does he say this to them? How does she get over her insecurities and fears and be the girl he fell in love with? Before she loses him? Why does he seek out other women to make him happy? He should just treat her the way he used to and she would smile again.
They are so close to getting everything they worked so hard for, stayed together for. Together they have four beautiful kids from their marriages and some day hope to have one of their own. But instead of being the girl he wants her to be she acts hateful and pushes him away. When she really wants him close and all hers and the happy ever after dream.
Sorry I took up so much space but if you have thoughts on this excerpt feel free to leave them here. Keep smiling and as the "other man" would say.
"happiness is a habit" | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 10:53:56 AM | The only thing they have in common is the misery they've lived in.
That's their bond.
They both need to take time apart and learn how to be happy in themselves. | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 10:54:46 AM | cripes almighty
That woman is a dink, she agrees to an open relationship then is disturbed by the open relationship. Flakey, whiney, needy, FLAKE.
I didn't sign up for this to hold anyone's hand and say poor boo boo.
This "woman" is living in a fantasy world and is never happy with what she has, sees herself as a victim in relationships that she CHOOSES to be in. She can't make up her mind and is setting a horrible example for her children and deserves any emotional disturbance she has for getting involved with someone who wants to swing when she doesn't want to!
STUPID | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 11:33:23 AM | >>"He should just treat her the way he used to and she would smile again."<<
Right there is your (*ahem*) her problem. You make yourself happy, and not one other person can do it for you.
This "woman" left her marriage because her husband was abusive and drank too much. Fine. But she went with another man who didn't treat his own wife any better. Instead of wondering what might make her gravitate toward men who have no respect for her, she expected this man who had no respect for his previous wife to make her happy.
Sounds as though this was a case of the grass being greener, an "Oh, true love, take me away" situation. Once the novelty wore off, reality sets in. I know this sounds harsh, but c'mon...the guy you left your family for also abandoned his own. You were the "other woman' during his marriage, and that is why he treated you like a goddess. Now you are the significant other waiting at home for him. Why would he treat you any differently than he treated his ex?
Stop waiting for him to treat you with respect...doesn't sound like it is gonna happen any time soon.
And let me say this again...only you can make yourself happy, no one else. When you treat yourself with respect, you begin to expect it from others. | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 11:59:55 AM | That wasn't harsh at all chatter
Very wise you are.
The woman should also get out of fantasy land and into reality asap. | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 12:29:53 PM | Ok...but lets see the points here...her relationship with the new guy is based on sex and weed? Excellent!!! I think weed and sex are the basis for any good healthy relationship...also ultra cool that there are kids involved that witnessed all of this. Excellent!
And our next guest on Springer is.......Jerry...Jerry....Jerry....nuff said! Sheesh. | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 12:33:52 PM | | You folks can be so cruel to these dope heads. Lets be nice to the "woman" whe asked for our help. She doesnt want us to judge her, just give her an nice warm fuzzy answer. I hope she and people just like her can change and teach their kids some rules of living in society. What a concept. | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 12:35:06 PM | | Sorry Fish...you are right. Um...Op...good luck with this situation. Hopefully they will always have an abundance of weed and sex, since that is what the relationship is based on. Better fish? | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/12/2005 1:32:11 PM | I'm terribly sorry about your outrageoulsy long post but I read until the part where you said something about the girl leaving for the lakehouse, riding out into the sunset, which for some reason made me very hungry and i am now leaving to get some food.
Sorry about the rest of your story.  | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/13/2005 7:07:07 AM | sounds like "the woman" and "her husband" need to quit drugs and alcohol, and get into therapy.
first her now ex husband was the drunk, she didnt and still doesnt drink or do drugs | |
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| thoughts on changing relationship
Posted: 10/13/2005 1:34:32 PM |
I'm terribly sorry about your outrageoulsy long post but I read until the part where you said something about the girl leaving for the lakehouse, riding out into the sunset, which for some reason made me very hungry and i am now leaving to get some food.
Sorry about the rest of your story.
My your a sensitive soul :P
Way to trivialize the poor girls feelings!
What I am really more sorry for is the "enter" button. Cuz it really didn't get ANY attention when the person was typing that post. If she had, there would have been some paragraph breaks and our collective eyes would have been happier by far :P | |
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