| why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/19/2004 10:02:14 PM |
For the life of me I can't understand why single women are attracted to jerks. Maybe this article can explain why:
You and I must understand that women DON'T go deliberately looking for a jerk. Women are not "bad" people at all. Quite the opposite. But WOMEN ARE COMPLETELY CONTROLLED BY THIS ANCIENT MATING INSTINCT. Therefore, they have NO OTHER CHOICE but to go after ANY strong, dominant, untamable male. Or any male who can make her FEEL all those intense, uncontrollable feelings she lives for. The key to understanding women's strange behavior is "they have NO OTHER CHOICE" but to fall for these type of males.
And the jerk HAPPENS to be THAT TYPE of male. Or at least, the jerk has learned HOW TO PLAY that role. The nice guy IS NOT that type of male. The nice guy cannot even play that role. If a nice guy became strong and dominant and HARD TO GET, she will go BLINDLY after that nice guy. The proof that I am right is that EVERY TIME a nice guy starts ACTING like a jerk, HE IS SUDDENLY WANTED BY ALL THOSE WOMEN WHO USED TO IGNORE HIM BEFORE. Women don't really want jerks. They probably want a nice guy. But ... "what women -WANT" and "what women NEED" are two different things. And their Subconscious ''genetic" programming, that NEED to feel and feel and feel, will make women go uncontrollably after what they NEED, not what they want. And that is true of EVERY person, in any area of life. They will attract into their lives and/or will go toward what they subconsciously NEED, not what they think they want.
What a woman genetically NEEDS is the type of man who will trigger in her all those intense feelings and emotions. Why?. Because a female NEEDS to experience those uncontrollable feelings/emotions to surrender completely to him. Once she FEELS that way about him she will do anything and everything for/with him. Women are SUCKERS for those very intense emotions and feelings that they were "genetically" programmed to experience for a certain type of male, the dominant, strong one. They NEED to FEEL those feelings to surrender to him. It has a lot to do with Estrogen, the "feeling" hormone as opposed to testosterone, the "performance/achievement" hormone. While most men are born to be "doers" most females are "be-ers" or "feelers".
Women will love and go after ANY man who is able to "ignite" those feelings in them. Unfortunately, a "nice", sensitive, wimpy type of guy does not generate those feelings in women. A strong, dominant, hard-to-get! man DOES. And the jerk fits in this category. And the jerk knows how to "ignite" those intense feelings and emotions women are addicted to. A jerk and a hard-to-get man make her feel ... feel...feel ... crazy, excited, turned on. A "nice" guy makes her feel ... feel ... feel .... bored to death.
Even when women fall for a guy who is very handsome, they will leave him very quickly if they discover he is a nice guy who can be easily controlled by females. It happens all the time. And they will go after some not-so-handsome type, even ugly one, who is strong and dominant. Even married women will do the craziest things and go after THE guy who can "ignite" those feelings in them. What she loves are the feelings she FEELS. Not the guy! But in her mind, the guy and the feelings become inseparable. She loves the feelings. Therefore, she falls in love with the guy who can make her feel that way.
Now, it will be totally futile to try to explain to any woman that she doesn't really love guy A. But that she really loves THE WAY guy A makes her feel. She will tell you that you are crazy. But this is the truth. In a nutshell: Person A loves person B because of the way person B makes person A feel. More precisely, Person B satisfies the deepest VALUES that Person A needs satisfied to believe/know that she is in love with Person B.
Women were "genetically" programmed to be SUCKERS for intense feelings and emotions in order to surrender and mate.
The jerks and the hard-to-get guys DO "trigger" those intense, uncontrollable emotions she "genetically" loves. A nice guy does NOT.
ANY man who learns HOW to make her FEEL the way she was "genetically" programmed to FEEL, FEEL AND FEEL, will have her doing anything and everything he wants.
Remember that men are "doers". Women love feelings. They live to FEEL, FEEL AND FEEL.
If YOU can make her FEEL the way she wants to feel, she will LINK all those pleasurable, intense feelings with/to you. YOU will be satisfying her deepest, most treasured VALUES. Then, she will become ADDICTED to you. And you will make her fall in love with you.
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/19/2004 10:12:11 PM | Hmmmmm. You know, I posted a thread about this awhile back. It kind of fissled out though. Many of the guys in here said "I used to be a bad boy....." or "still am........"
Obviously I didn't ask the question clearly enough. And I like what you've typed here. Long, but interesting. I've often wondered if there is some deep instinct within us to be drawn to jerks. Seen nice women go back for more and more and more. Boggles the mind.
I'm hoping for the book "idiot's guide to being an asshole" so I can have more success with the ladies. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/20/2004 6:24:10 PM | That's a lot of facts, I think it's true 4 the most part.
I couldn't believe that there is a guidebook 2 being an asshole out there. There were selling it in Virgin Megastore! | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/20/2004 8:41:43 PM | | So true. You can go to great lengths to try to be the nicest person that a girl has ever met. And you will get a peck on the cheek, right before she turns around to blow some guy that will just leave her laying in the dirt when he is through with her. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/21/2004 11:03:17 AM | its the whole caveman to cavewoman thing.
its on our blood for teh man to be dominant and the woman to fall all over for the bad guy.
the wimpy or sensitive loving guy gets left with nothing....but yet why is it woman always want the nice guys?? and waste time with the morons?? | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/21/2004 5:11:25 PM |
I also thinks it is how woman are raised. They are taught in school that the jocks are cool and nerds aren't. Jocks become jerks because the power goes to their head. Girls are also taught by soap operas and magazines that the bad boy is more fun than the good boy. Also woman have this stupid idea that they can change a bad boy. They think that he won't cheat on me even though he is cheating on his current girlfriend. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/23/2004 4:06:47 AM | | Women like men with confidence. It just so happens that jerks are usually the most confident guys. You dont have to be bad to get women, just show confidence in yourself. Be confident, treat women right, and you can't go wrong. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/24/2004 12:22:37 AM | Right on! It is also a process of culture, what is perceived as exuding confidence. This is where I see women go so wrong. Nice guys are not whimpy at all, but they do not care to play games. Women say they want no game players, but that is what they insist on by their behavior. Honest, straight up, forthright is what they want but will stay away from like the plague. This hypocritical inconsistency is also due to a lack of spiritual development. If we let the ape get the better of the angel in us, well, we end up with an ape.
The mating instinct was designed for the survival of the species, not for the loftier ideals of romance to be realized in a modern, eternally devoted romance with a Beloved; however, we have a choice to channelize baser instincts into a form of relating that serves our 'higher' needs as well.
Of course, I am stating this as a generalization. I am holding out, that women do exist who are astute and aware enough to be discerning. The rest I really do not care for. I would rather remain true to myself; otherwise, the value of a woman in one's life, even for a short while, is highly overrated. The sooner men get this through their head, the sooner women will have to take notice, since it takes two to tangle. So, are you going to act like an ape to her or be the man you can be? Ultimately you get what you put out.
And, just in case you are wondering, yes, I have had plenty of women interested in me, even to marry (and I sure hope it was not, because I am a jerk and don't know it. That's not the feedback I have gotten anyway); however, I am still looking for the one that has what it really takes to go the distance of a lifetime with me. And then, when the bottomline checks out, being plenty 'bad' without being a jerk is definitely doable. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/24/2004 6:40:32 PM | I view this "Niceguy/Asshole" thing as a bit irrelevant.
Assholes can be adventurous & sincere and nice guys dull & underhanded. In this case, which would be the better guy? (This Nice-Guy Thing - just a self-made excuse to latch on to any reason to whine buckets of tears for oneself - Sorry, but I have no pity for those who pity themselves.)
If the dude can create an environment/lifestyle where she can plainly see that it's in her own best interests to stay with him, thats the actual and real point under consideration. And if she wants to go, then let her go.
It's no different than someone who manages a company account. If he can't hang on to the clients, he company fires him. It's an ability to sell one's self, and if the job hasn't been well done, she'll go.
On the other side of the track, sometimes dudes desperately hang on to their chicks they should have dumped on Day 1, the train not going anywhere else except to "Heartbreak Hotel"
If any description can be made about "Assholes/Jerks" is that they are callous in their sale (they actively run after what they want), the Nice Guy crying in his beer at the first sign of rejection.
It comes down to nothing else except attitudes and running after what one wants; never for one second giving up or conceding to setbacks.
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/25/2004 4:55:14 PM | | This issue is so complicated 2 each their own right, of course speaking from a single female I do get attracked 2 the asshole 1st then I shake my head and then realize I rather be with the nice guy after all. | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/25/2004 5:00:52 PM | | I'm truly disappointed to see so much PREJUDICE here. I mean, we say "jerk" like it's a bad thing. Perhaps we could use a more politically correct term, such as "weinie challenged." | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/25/2004 7:25:08 PM | | yeah i guess there's a pretty good point in all that. I think most of the guys i have ever gone for were like that , however, it would never last long because this is not the kind of guy you would expect to show off to family less alone settle down with.. | |
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Zee
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Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/25/2004 7:45:48 PM | its the package that one sells that gets the gurl so to speak
Ive dated a few assholes in my time, but they didnt start off that way, its how we perseve the whole picture. What we get is what isnt always clear until things unravel. Many guys start off right, they do the right thing, and then wham they are not that cool guy you met, but the asshole your girlfriends tried to warm you about, its the same with females. I have female friends who use men, and the men are clueless.
I suppose as we grow as individuals and love our selves more, the better our choices become. | |
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Zee
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Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 19 | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/28/2004 12:23:12 AM | | I suppose what makes one a jerk is their lack of conscience..anything goes...and that could be easily be mistaken for self-confidence..so ladies..its up to us to make that choice | |
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99
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Joined: 2/28/2004
Msg: 24 | |
| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/28/2004 7:38:44 PM | How many women have been approached at the bar by the nice quiet guy? It's always the loud mouthed jerks who, like you said have way too much self confidence and go after what they like....So, for fun the woman latches on for the ride that night....obviusly the nice guys are busy being too shy in the corner. I think this tread should be called: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE NICE GUYS?.....IF YOU SEE A PRETTY GIRL GO AND SAY HI TO HER" SHEESH!!
I'm all for the nice guys but they seldom take that first step........am I wrong? | |
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| Re: why single women are attracted to jerks
Posted: 6/28/2004 8:51:03 PM | | probably because most of those nice guys are taken...Infact, i don't even think many nice guys hang out in bars....quite often you find that most of them met the love of their life in school or college, or even in their work place....going to bars is seldom a place i would want to meet my future husband...and i'm almost sure that some of those nice guys think the same way. | |
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