| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 9:17:55 PM | | Really! I'm new to dating, very new, and I'm finding dates here but honestly don't know how to tell if a man here on Plenyoffish is seriously interested in getting to know me or if he is just entertaining himself for the evening. I have guys that write to me often and I feel like they are friends...and even though they might say that I'm attractive etc, I still am not sure if they truely want to go further than the internet or if they are just flirting to entertain themselves or what. So how does one know? | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 9:41:44 PM | wow..hb1 works quick...talk for a long time...dont rush in...5...6...7..8 emails...maybe a week or 2 of IM's with phone calls in between..then finally meet if hes still around | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 9:47:57 PM | i think its bullshit...if you cant find someone local, what makes youthink that other person from across the coutry is right..especialy after 3 emails....what do you write? novels to one another?
we are off topic though..i say take you time and try to find his reall intentions | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 10:06:37 PM | OK, since your new, I'll tell you how it works, but don't tell any other women, this is a secret.
If they are truly interested then a meeting, date, or informal get-together will be arraigned at some point. If you have exchanged dozens of emails and he never asks you out then you can assume he is not that serious.
I also agree that unless they are in your geographic area, it is unlikely that the relationship will ever go anywhere. (not impossible but highly unlikey) So if you are exchanging emails with someone thousands of miles away, there’s not much of a chance that it will lead to anything.
For many men, just to have an attractive woman (such as yourself) to email and confide in is enough for them. They simply like the idea of having a female confident to tell their problems to, to tell them about their good days, bad days, someone to brag to about their job and talk about their bad dates. At some point the conversations will most likely turn sexual. And you may or may not be Ok with that, but those relationships never go anywhere and will eventually fall, away | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 10:14:33 PM | I think that its as hard to tell when a man is interested in a woman, as it is for to tell when a woman is interested in a man. Of course men are usually more obvious about it. If you have a question whether someone is interested in going to the next step in your relationship, seems to me you might have just realized you are interested in him. Maybe what you need to do is take the next step yourself and ask him out. Some guys like the direct approach, never know what could happen, all he can do is say no, not yet, or yes. I am not sure about all men, but I like a direct women, of course I am kind of shy and it helps me out.  | |
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bbanks
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Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 10:24:00 PM | I'm just as confused as you are. I'm new to virginia and have spent the last year working my ass off to this company off the ground. I don't go out much, nor do I know anyone to go out with. When it comes to internet dating I'm lost, I just don't get it. My whole idea of this was a simple 3 step dance.
1: Email
2: Phone
3: Meet
I mean damn, how can you like someone you have not even met in person. All the people I have met so far have been online only. I'm not going to know if I like someone until I atleast meet them in person.
Maybe I'm wrong but you wont find out if someone likes you until you go on a date. And trust me, if I have ever messaged you that means I AM interested, or I wouldnt have messaged you. This is only based off pictures and profile I may feel totaly different in a meet. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 10:40:41 PM | Frankly until you meet in person it will be hard to tell.
Even then it will be hard to tell.
Some signs he is interested:
1) He hints at or trys to make arrangements for the next date before the END of the current date.
2) He offers to include you in things in his life.
3) He looks at YOU when you are talking.
4) He manages to discuss things and can see your point of view
5) He tries to touch you in subtle ways (if he is shy) like hair, back, shoulder, arm, hand etc. If he makes a grab for you (before you comfortable with it) tell him to wait until you initiate the contact and see if he remains interested...
(** Don't forget to initiate some kind of contact to demonstrate what is OK! **)
Some women have told me that they think the guy isn't interested enough if he looks at other women while he is with you. Well, that is true to a certain extent. But, give a guy a break, a heart breaking heart throb can attract our attention for a few seconds. I think the key is that his focus comes BACK to you within 5 seconds.
For heaven sakes throw the dog a bone occassionally. If your interested and you think he is too then don't be afraid to tell him right out what your interested in (or go in for a kiss, hug, cuddle, lean into him, etc.) He might be too much a "gentle man" to initiate that kind of contact. Most guys are scared to death of initiating too much contact too fast (like the woman is going to bolt or something).
Lets face it mose guys spend an enternity agonising over when to put an arm around your waste....  | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 12 | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:08:10 PM | I honestly don't think there's any way to tell.. I talked with someone via e-mails, on the phone for hours and hours, for almost 6 months before we finally met... After meeting, we "dated" for about 4 months, but he showed his true colors... ((hard to break off, because I love his mom, sister, and her family))...but he had more problems than I was willing to deal with... Sooo, I have to agree>>You never know until you meet in person, and even then, it can take months to find the "real" person...... | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:13:47 PM | It's up to the individuals involved. Me, I tend to be a bit cautious and sometimes slow where I will communicate with someone through im/pm or on the phone for at least a month before I ask to meet. I just want to make sure that the person on the other end is at least in the same ball park as I am. When I do meet someone for the first time I prefer to go out for coffee first, that way your not in a noisy bar where you have to yell to talk to one another.
If coffee lasts for only half an hour then you know there's no connection.
I prefer a quiet evening at home to a night out bar hopping but there are times when you need to get out of the house and do things like going to a movie, dinner or a day outing in the mountains. My favorite has always been going for a midnight drive and if the person your with is special then grabbing a hotel or bed n breakfast somewhere.
In order to maintain a healthy relationship, one must be spontanious. | |
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katlin
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Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 16 | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:17:12 PM | Most guys are trying not to scare you away, it's hard to read a person when your corresponding online. That's why I keep the time to a minimum. Besides, what's 15 minutes to meet in a day. Then you know. Some guys might wait for you to make a move because they are hesitant or worried they might be pushing too fast.
Local is definitely best. If they don't want to show you a picture though, I would take that as a bad sign. For the first while it's ok, but if it say turned into 3 months or something, not so good. I like surprises though, I think meeting someone when I didn't know what they looked like would be interesting. At least you meet someone you never met before.
If people don't make commitments to call or meet and keep making excuses, give them a last chance, and then pull the plug. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 10/13/2005 11:18:05 PM | I'm with HB on this one. I email/IM, move to the phone, then meet all within a relatively short time. I've come to know that if you don't actually meet someone in person, you'll never know if you hit it off and no amount of time spent getting to know that person can dictate chemistry.
If they DON'T want to meet me and offer excuse after excuse it raises a red flag. If someone can't take 30 mins out of his day to meet me for coffee, I ask myself why and then move on to someone that's not out to play games.
Edit: Oooo Trav, we're on the same wavelength! lol | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 19 | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 5:20:24 AM |
If someone can't take 30 mins out of his day to meet me for coffee...
30 minutes?? I just went on a date last Saturday, and it lasted at least 5 hours... If I guy can't even spend an hour or two with you (but wants sex), get rid of him. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 5:40:07 AM | If you have exchanged dozens of emails and he never asks you out then you can assume he is not that serious.
^^^^^ I was going to type the exact same thing.. it really is this plain and obvious! If I don't ask someone out, then I am either not serious enough or I haven't met her yet! | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 3:11:27 PM |
who spends that much money and time on an internet girl? Wow dude, sorry you might as well have shot off your pecker.
I agree with the get it over in a hurry. If you drag it out for weeks or months, you build up false expectations based on what you perceive the other person is like. You never really get to know a person until you can see them face to face..... body language, their whole demeanor. | |
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| How Can I Tell When a Man is Serious About Me?
Posted: 1/16/2006 3:17:26 PM | | What's wrong with asking them if they're serious about meeting up or do they want a pen pal. If you don't get a direct answer right off.....then you HAVE your answer don't ya? Go straight to it cuts through the BS. | |
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