| age gap
Posted: 12/7/2004 7:35:13 PM | | What do you guys think about big age gaps...Im 40 and I am attracted to a woman who is 25. Obviously there are going to be some differences but nothing that cant be worked out as far as I am concerned. Usually women my age (no offense to women) have kids and dont want anymore or they have just let themselves go (physically) Its not that hard to be active and get regular excersise. Anyway most the women I seem to be attracted to are 10-15 yrs younger. I used to party all the time and wasted alot of years on meaningless relationships. Now Im older, quit drinking and am working on dealing with life and its relationships sober but sometimes it just makes me want to go out and tie one on. Kidding, my sobriety is #1 But d*mn it isnt easy sometimes. When I drank I was fun and kinda the life of the party. It seemed like the women I was interested in felt the same and they did for the most part. Now that I dont party anymore Im not as interesting to some I guess. Who knows. | |
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Roaul
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Joined: 4/14/2004
Msg: 2 | |
| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 4:19:25 AM | | what problem is there?i a hopeing to meet a young lady soon who is 11 yrs younger.good luck to you bud | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 5:24:06 AM | | I guess older women had better hope younger men value experience or that there are enough men their own age that actually value what they have to offer.Otherwise, they won't be getting any. Unfortunately for them, there are just too many guys out there that want it younger and fresher. This means that they often get passed over for younger women and that even when they get a man, they might lose him to a younger women if the guy is more interested in getting some young punani than being with someone that he shares much more in common with. I am talking about in terms of life experiences and emotional and mental maturity. However, it is possible that some of these older men should really be with "kids" because they are kids themselves in the latter respects. However, in principle, I do not oppose anyone being with anyone as long as they are both of legal age to be with each other. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:57:00 AM | I have something for you to think about and it comes from experience.
When I was 43 I had a 22 year old woman start chasing me. VERY cute, very smart, a lot of drive and knew what she wanted. So after a few weeks I let her catch me. It lasted a couple years but there were a couple major problems.
At almost twice her age I didn't have a lot in common with her friends or she with mine. That might not seem like a big problem but if you think about it you will realize what I am saying. Her GFs gave her grief about being with an old guy. Guys hitting on her would use the "is that your dad ?" line. Things like that will wear on a relationship.
The other thing is that with a big difference in age the problems of differing values and goals come into play. If you are older and have put the hard party days behind you while she wants to rock all night it's not gonna be pretty.  What you want in life right now and what she wants in life right now may very well be incompatible.
So, my piece said I will wish you good luck, happiness, and an interesting life. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 8:15:05 AM | "age" ....not really a big deal...... it's more goals ,dreams, priorities ... that sort of thing ...common ground is very important in my opinion..... good luck. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 9:05:23 AM | I think age is relative...Maturity though is super important. For some that comes really young, for others older.
As far as older women not wanting more children, we aren't all like that. If I met a great guy and we ended up together, I'd think it was completely natural to have more children with him. Our lives don't stop because we have children, they just get slightly altered and what a better way to express your love and carry on your legacy of who you were as a couple.
As far as you being the life of the party no longer, think about it. Was it really that much fun? Do you really want or need to be the center of attention?
I agree with some of the posts below though. Age gap does have it's issues, but I also know that basically when two people meet, they are different...and if you are both comfortable in each other's worlds, then it's not really age that is the factor..It's more about meshing worlds. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 9:16:29 AM | when I was 28 I dated a pilot from billings he was 42..very manly Italian man
he had this beautiful salt and pepper hair ..every time we went to dinner someone would ask him if his "daughter" enjoyed her meal...lol...we went to x-mas partys and all his friends called him a cradle robber ..he hated that..now that I am his age ..I almost always date younger men.. nobody comments..yet..lol..so when somebody sez something about my "son" that's when I give up the pups... | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 9:44:23 AM | I think theres a difference between your numerical age and how 'aged' you look.Some people can look great as they get older and that will play better than what age shows on your drivers L .You can be 40 and look great, or beat down at 28.Look at Johnny Depp for instance. I doubt many girls are saying yeah he's cute but he's 40, no...they want him cuz the guy looks good...better than many guys in their 20's.
Many women in the U.S. or Canada will usually stay within 3-5 yrs of their age when they are in their early to mid 20's.That gap will widen as they get closer to their late 20's or early 30's as the pool of available men shallows.
I agree men and women will look for different things as they get older, but the age gap is real, especially here in the west.I setup a online dating service such as POF for a client in SEA.Over there, women in their early 20's will often be comfortable with men at least 8-10 years older and some prefer men more than 15 years their senior.Culturaly, the largest gap I've seen women wanting older men was in Vietnam.Many young beautiful girls after Vietnamese men 40-55 yrs of age.
If your a single guy in your late 30's or early 40's and attracted to younger women in their mid 20's, your going to be hard pressed to be dating them locally.Im a guy so I know what kind of girls r grabbin' your attention at that age.If thats really what u want, IMO, look elsewhere...many fine ladies overseas guys. dont limit yourself, I've seen it first hand. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 9:55:08 AM | age gap
ever been out with a girl 3 times your size
or really small.
man i have a thing for tall girls, my last girl freind was about 6 ft and im only around 5 to 5'3 i think, been a long time since i megerued my hight. this is the sort of Yeah!  thing for me. go tall chicks | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 2:26:06 PM | | is 5'6 1/2 tall???;) | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 3:49:20 PM | | WEll, I'll drop in my 2 cents, which is about 2 cents more than it's worth. Age at some point HAS to make a difference. I think for instance, just as a matter of speculation and being realistic, IF I WAS looking for a mate, doing so past 60 is the mark of an old fool. So, I am married, and that ends my days of looking, so I speak only from what I would think if I was not married. That is without a doubt, not to be such a fool as to think a 22, 32, 42 or older woman would care one whit about me except for security, and companionship. Well, I am one of those types, the cynic you know so well by now, that would never commit to another relationship that involved marriage, and the odds are extremely low to nil that I would ever take any younger woman expressing an interest seriously. I would fall down on the floor laughing and wondering what her "angle" was? Nobody in the young female category of sound mind should ever consider an old cynic. WE may be crazy, but not entirely. At least I don't have to concern myself about such things. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:28:52 PM | | Thanks for that reply. Those are very good points and very well said. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:35:13 PM | | there are alot of fine women overseas I agree. I was in the military from 85 to 89 and went all over...sometimes I wish I would have just made it a career and settled down with a foriegn woman. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:37:33 PM | | Apryl, 5'6 and a half is not tall for a man or woman but it is rather short for a guy since the norm for guys is around 5'11". I imagine 5'6 and a half is probably close to the norm for women though. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:42:25 PM | | I disagree otis. No matter how old you are, it is okay to still be looking for a mate. At 60 plus it is more about seeking companionship than sex so I see nothing wrong with a 60 plus year old looking for love. Of course they should be looking in their age range and of course if a woman or man that is much younger than them is interested in them they should be wondering what their angle is. After all, the young person might be out to marry them and murder them and live off whatever wealth they have accumulated in addition to whatever they can get from their life insurance. So, I agree and disagree with you. Take care. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 4:19:04 AM | | I always like your posts, ant. You're good man. Yeah, some guys in their 60's can look for similar aged companions. But most of us are too set in our ways. Nobody is gonna like this old hell-raising cynic, and I need my peace too. So for me at least, no more women in my life. I've had my run. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 6:51:52 AM | | If you like this girl go for it age isn't a big deal. Although i didn't like he comment about woman letting themselves go. Some people have medical conditions and just cause they are fat doesn't mean they don't exercise and eat healthy.As for drinking! My father was an alcoholic and you may think you are the life at the party but in a ll actuality we are ll laughing at you. Glad you quite drinking it takes a big man to admit they have a problem and want to changer thier life. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 7:04:13 AM | | Dawn, you should be commended for your intelligence. Your statement on 'medical conditoins' is so accurate. Since my hysterectomy and quitting smoking I've packed on thirty pounds that just will not go away no matter how much exercise I do and how I change my diet. I have tried everything, nothing works. Men will not give me a first look nevermind a second look. It's a very sad world when men only want something young and 'fresh' as someone put it in an earlier post. I have yet to meet a man who cared about me as a person and what I am all about. Everything has always been judged by the cover and that is so unfair. Women are not (judgemental) like that; if they were you'd see a lot more single men out there. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 7:14:01 AM | | 5'6 and a half is taller than me i think, got to mesure my self some time | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 12:19:12 PM | | I disagree with Otis, too. I'm 63 and on this free service. I come on because I was/am open for happy, loving, good times. I'm suprised how much I actually am posting instead of really using the search button. ??Maybe getting ego kicks this way??? Anyhooo, I can fantasize all I want to about younger women. When I say younger women in this fantacy I'm day dreaming 18 to 25 or 30. I do get a laugh when some young lady is talking about how much more mature the older man is, wiser, more conserate, settled, etc,etc and then she referrs to someone maybe yet in 20s or early 30s. You know when we get done with sex and are about our lives, communication is very nice. What would I talk to you about. How you still dislike someone who stole your cheerleading position and later got your boyfriend?? WOW. I might show interest and concern but really I'm gagging and puking inside. It would be a constant effort to be a receptive life mate simply because we would be too much out of sync. Don't think I wouldn't love you and your body. My realism would kick in and I would simply be in the loving father role eventually. Not a mutually sharing life. I dont think someone in their 40s is too young for someone in their 60s but they must have compatable interests and I don't mean in geriatric studies. It makes me laugh. My daughter (26) says "dirt,dad, You're older than dirt." or "How did you manage to get saddles on those dinosaurs" My experience is that the 50 somethings are much much better. Society has made them worry about weight even when, they dont know that they are really much more voluptuous. They are much better at sharing lifes histories and joys. "Where were you when Kennedy got shot?" Do you remember the "day the music died?" Wasn't it great when the "effete snob" Agnew got his upcommings. What year wer you in when the Kent State students were murdered by our national guard? Hey, my point is that there is a life of experiences that need sharing simply because they constitute who you are. Lots of sex can be lots of fun and dont be fooled girls, that "older" man can be much more fun but dont bet your life on it. That is the trade off. Now, if only I could get paid for this stuff. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 12:34:21 PM | | Hey funkinrock, that is not much of an age gap. Go for it. Stay off the booze at all costs. That life of the party view is only seen by a drunken perspective. Good Luck. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/9/2004 12:50:45 PM | | your right it might not be right but its just normal. People are attracted to what they percieve as being attractive...that all plain and simple. Women are just as bad. They put up with abuse becuase of it. Now as far as a "Medical Condition" Well thats a bit different. But there are alot of unhealthy people that are just lazy and use that for an excuse too. Some of the best people I know are heavier set its just not attractive to me. Sorry if I offended anyone that wasnt my intention. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/26/2004 6:56:04 AM | hmm, hot chicks rule espeicially if there a little older and taller
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| age gap
Posted: 12/26/2004 8:25:09 AM | Ive always found my relationships with younger women to be much more fullfilling. In my case it's usually younger women who are most attracted to me anyway and it most certainly isn't due to my "vast fortune".
Many of my past girlfriends have called me a better listener than guys thier age. I think us older guys are more attentive to thier needs emotionally and otherwise. We know that no means no and can let it slide. I think we tend to be more honest with our mates. I do think a younger woman needs to be more mature than average.
My dad is married to a woman more than 20 years younger than himself and has been married for 25 years. | |
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| age gap
Posted: 12/26/2004 8:39:03 AM | boo yar!!
with out chicks where in the hell we'd be,
oooo just thinking about the perfect one here  | |
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