| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 10:38:02 PM | Okay, so I'm meeting some men on here, and there were two that I liked. I initiated contact with both of them. I met one out recently; first meeting and it was very easy and fun and my stance on this is dating and getting to know someone until I find the right one and it is mutually agreeable about the pace of things.
I clearly indicate on my profile that what I am ultimately seeking is a long term relationship. I have clearly written the "must not be seekings...."
Okay, so I've got this guy who in the first night is making plans for me for the weekend, and I don't commit because my weekend is booked with family. I am thinking at this point there might be an opportunity to get together over the weekend, even with family in.
But I get a call late at night, which I don't answer because it is late (11:30) and anyway, the phone is upstairs. A message is left saying "I have a proposition for you...I really like you, like lots of things about you....blah blah."
Intrigued, I think, "I'll call tomorrow" but curiosity gets the better of me and I return the call and tease about the wording used, not entirely expecting what I was going to hear. The conversation took all of about three minutes. He said to me "You're sexy and I really like you but I don't see this going long-term, and so I thought we could just enjoy each other." In complete shock, I said simply "no thanks." His response was "I could have emailed you or I could have just not contacted you at all." Yeah, I suppose after contacting me two times after our meeting, that would have been a little disappointing, but might still be preferable to the proposition for sex.
Straightforward? That part of it is appreciated. A little diminishing? That was what I instantly felt. Now, generally I don't have a problem sparking the interest of men, but the presence of children in my life and my stance on having others (at 41, not something I want to do) is a "deal breaker" for many men. So, it is all clearly stated in my profile. So, these things were evident prior to a meeting.
I don't even think his approach is all that wrong, lay it all on the table. It was just a little tacky. What benefit did he think he was offering that I couldn't get any day of the week without inheriting someone that I had to maintain, on a level that would take me down to something beneath who I am; forgetting my own hopes, beliefs and desires and trading them for SEX? I'm not offering services putting myself out here. The very best thing to do would be to be firm enough in his own beliefs of what he was looking for to treat me with more respect and realize how his offer was going to be received, as I AM LOOKING FOR A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP and I CLEARLY state that and any other approach is just wasting my time and for those reasons, offensive. Why ask? Hit a girl up who states that she's interested in that while looking for Princess Charming of a certain age with no children.
Thoughts? | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 10:49:38 PM | | I'm thinking I would have been a little torqued and probably would have felt a little insulted that he thought I was someone who would jump into bed with him just because he was there. One good thing though - you found out really quickly that he obviously does not have the same morals and values as you do. At least he did not waste your time!! I find it rather amazing how many people place very low value on truly getting to know someone prior to jumping into bed. To each their own though I guess! Good luck with your future dates - I hope they go better and I hope you find someone who values YOU and not just what you may be willing to offer!! | |
|
| |
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:08:09 PM | | Well, I have to admit that really, your view of all this is refreshing really. Most women say "tell me the truth no matter what...I want honesty" and then get mad when ...well you tell them what you honestly think. Gotta admit, you'd be a keeper just for that alone. | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:22:39 PM | | @diggydiggy: i am not surprised at the proposition. i have met someone here at pof, still trying to get things going...sort of slow (since we live in different cities).....but since i have emotionally/physically committed myself to this guy, i have changed my 'status' in my profile to seeking "friends". well, it does not matter what i write in my profile, i still get guys contacting me and propositioning me. so, now, i just roll with it all. when they do proposition me, just like you, i say 'no thanks' and click them closed. | |
|
| |
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:25:34 PM | I so hear what you are saying, DD, where they are reading the "DO not contact if's and think that is what you are looking for...I have encountered that. Another pet peeve of mine is 2 for short non describtive e-mails and they want to meet no name exchange or anything else to give a gal any warm and trusting feelings, No I don't think so...Invest some time and plan on talking a while or I am not planning on meeting. I think you should just be very relieved that you found out early what he is about! Now you can plan better with the other interesting fish....Chalk this one up to expeience and better luck with the next meeting. | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:56:03 PM | Dayum that sux! I don't know what it is!
I think a lot of men and women think that some people are hmmm I want to be delicate here.... but I can't... desperate or easy.... and I'm not sure why they think that.. when a woman (or a man) specifies what they are looking for or NOT looking for in their profile!
I had someone contact me tonight and want me to meet him... (I don't meet anyone THAT fast) I read his profile and said.. I'm not the kind of gal he's looking for... He said... hey waite I wrote my profile ages ago? I said.. Oh... so you're not still advertising... your um.. thickness? Your NOT MARRIED anymore? YOUR not looking to have fun with someone that is married or single?
He said... he wasn't married... I said.. preferred not to say is married in my book!
What eva!!! I have that Im NOT into one night stands!!!
I hope you find what you're looking for.. :-) | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/14/2005 11:58:11 PM | It's a good thing you found out right away. That's just plain Sad and Tacky on his part.
People do need to read the profiles, especially when you take the time to fill out and put a positive decent length description in.
Some people have 2 lines and wonder the same question as you have. Yours has merit, theirs do not. Good luck to you in the pond. | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 12:06:57 AM | No chit! That was extremely sorry on his part! Keep fishing! There is going to be someone out there who appreciates what you are looking for!
Slainte! | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 6:03:29 AM | Diggy...Gotapulse has got a very humorous profile, am still laughing...
Door #2... open and walk right thru to see the other side...
Should it not work,keep knocking....
Each door is an opportunity, yada yada
 | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 6:15:33 AM |
"You're sexy and I really like you but I don't see this going long-term, and so I thought we could just enjoy each other."
wow - how could any woman turn down a beautiful sentiment like that???
all he had to do was add 'until something better comes along' to the end of the phrase and it would be complete...
You deserve far better. You are being upfront and honest in your profile - that's what everyone SAYS they are looking for - just hold on to your values, and I'll bet you'll do just fine...
Good luck!! | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 6:31:51 AM | Nice, MusicMan, thank you - and believe it or not, in the past I've received "While we are waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along......."
The world is full of them. Where does the nerve come from? I wonder what the success rate is. | |
|
| |
| |
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 8:42:27 AM | No doubt better than he, as was demonstrated last night (the PROPOSITION). Um, I've invested an hour and a half in this guy, so not a lot of emotional consideration - just an instant slap. I have to thank him, actually, for getting directly to the point.
And I wish I hadn't been so shocked, as I might have had a little fun with it, asked some interview questions, requested stats and full frontal photos.....oh, but I digress.
Back to: 
Thanks everyone! The support was needed and I'm good now. | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 4:21:56 PM | Way to go diggydiggy
You must have great self worth not be lead astray
by this incredible offer.LOL
I like to take a long time to get together with someone online.
All good things take time and are worth the wait. Where ever it leads.
I'll slip in hear, you are very beautiful no strings attached dear.LOL
Good luck in the future.
Goodvibrations13 | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 5:32:17 PM | I think some just need to test the waters! Been there and heard it before am NOT surprised. Appreciate your candor and happy hunting. You will find it just stick to your guns. Trish | |
|
| What do yout think about this PROPOSITION?
Posted: 10/15/2005 6:32:25 PM | Gotta love this...
"I don't think you are what I am looking for, you really aren't my type, however, I would love something casual with you"
My GAWD.......How many times does a woman have to hear this crap?
| |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
