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Posted: 10/16/2005 7:32:14 AM | | I have done everything here ,and quit once already.The thing is I get more people read and delete me than anything.My heart is broke ,I look down on myself cause of this .I posted a picture .Did it help no.I write ok .Did it help using all caps where they need 2 be no.I see alot of women saying they want a nice honest man ,And im 1 of them.So could some1 tell me please what im doing 2 be rejected in life so much,My gosh when people do this it doesnt help me and make me a better person.I have feelings and they are so real ,why doesnt any1 want them is what gets me.. Im 2 the point of a deadend and cant find my way out.PLEASE HELP SOME1....... | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 7:48:05 AM | | First of all let me say this... they say a picture does wonders on here, but i can relate to alot of what yur saying... But try with a picture on here and dont be picky, I am not really sure all of the things your looking for but you do have that you just want a person to chat with on e-mail, most of us are looking for more then just email... I sure hope i am making sense here... Dont be down on yourself, look at the positive side of this, at least your on here, but get that pic of urs back on here... good luck.... | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 7:54:46 AM | | ^^^ yes no picture ?? fair is fair..when you look thru profiles what catches your eye? The picture or a profile that has none? | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 7:56:37 AM | | I disagree in some ways but I take the time to read as whats said.Its whats inside that makes a good person not all about looks .Ill post it again but I so no good in it .I agree with some of your points but u have 2 start some where ,YOU cant dive in head first and fall in love it takes time . Emailing me and become a frien is a great start I think. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:01:21 AM | | Im not saying whether a person is good inside or not.But we are all animals on the chain.and whether u believe it or not the first attraction is physical.And every person has their own personal likes and dislikes.And although you can love the heart of another if u arent attracted to the individual it will not go anywhere. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:04:32 AM | | I look at lots of other things and a 1 time picture cant say feelings now can they.Its whats inside your heart matters and how u feel about that person.I see other things then a picture. have a wonderful day :) | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:13:28 AM | | To Marlboro Man I looked at your profile. To me it seems ok, maybe if you go back in though and dont be so down on yourself, a little more upbeat hey you never know. I myself come from very low selfesteem and work each and every day to build it up.. Also you may want to change a bit of your cirteria, to limit yourself to women whom are only so many mlies away from you when the right one could be just a bit futher away is a no no.. I am more than willing to help you out with your profile etc, if you would accept my help that is.. Just message me, go to search and profile search put in my name and send me off an email.. I cannot send to you as you have restrictions.. I promise to help you the best I can.. meanwhile keep smiling and always remember there is someone out there for YOU...... | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:17:03 AM | People expect the email/im'ing process simply because that is the nature of this beast. But when you put down that you are looking for Talk/Email, it is often perceived as ONLY looking for talk/email. Plus, internet dating certainly isn't a godsend. It has a lot of downfalls. I got my first 'unread/deleted' mail the other day and I was so offended! At least read the darn thing.
My advice? Certainly dont let this venue, or any other internet site, be your primary way of meeting people. Try to meet people in person, where they can more easily see your admirable qualities, and let this be a 'secondary income'.. lol.
I'm sure you are a great guy. These sites can be harsh. Perhaps try lowering your standards on the women you contact? You'd be surprised, you often come across better ones that way. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:21:25 AM | I tried to reply privately and your mailbox would not let me because I am out of your age range.
I read what you wrote on the forum and so I checked out your peofile. I am not an expert in these things by any means, and I have a very low response rate myself but because I am not looking for what most of the women are, that is what I expect.
So, I will give you some feedback from my womans perspective.
One thing I have been told and it is the undeniable truth - if your profile isn't working change it.
First of all, I would suggest that you take out all of the "creative" text. Because eye for 1 find it annoying 2 read what u write. (of course that is only my opinion) It is not your choice of words which is fine. The way you are formatting does not come across as impressive.
Second, I think it is really important to appear confident. Women are not attracted to what appears as weakness and self-pity.
Next I would showcase some stengths. As you say, you cannot know a person from their profile, but it is a first impression. So maybe you could make a better presentation with your spirtitual beliefs or your moral code, or work ethics. Instead of vague "im a good guy" statements.
Try reading some profiles of other men your age, pick the ones you think you could respect, and "borrow" a sentance here or there that you think speaks of your true self. I am by no means advocating that you present yourself as any other then who who really are. I am saying, the women I know want to be impressed by a mans strength and see a man who knows what he is about.
I hope this helps - I am surely not spending my time writing all of this to hurt or upset you.
I am too old for you and so would never have come across your profile, but I am struggling myself, with my own self-esteem, feeling rejected, etc and it does get tiresome. Patience, I tell myself.
Good luck to you, and again I stress take all that fun text out of your profile - I would never engage in contact with anyone who formatted their writing that way even if he was Michael Douglass or something.
sandra | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:22:02 AM | Oh good lord. I read your profile, and to me that is a walking disaster!
TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFO. *NOONE* needs to know you're a virgin this soon! Even if you are proud of the fact, I know it would scare me away instantly, simply because I didn't ask so I didn't want you to tell. Not yet. That's something special that you should wait to talk about.
And yes, you are downbeat. RAISE the level of your profile and make it upbeat! Be POSITIVE; very few people are attracted to a downer. And if you are not confident enough to be positive with yourself, you should work on that before hopping into a relationship, as that will only compound the problem.
Remember, don't SAY it, SHOW it! Don't SAY that you're a good guy.. try to show it, let your writing speak for itself! | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:30:04 AM | | Take another pic, that one looks like you just got home from work or fishing. Nothing wrong with having a job or enjoying sports, but it's your first impression people see when they check your profile. Second, drop all the limitations on who can reply to you. Example, if I knew someone that was your type, I couldn't send you an email to let you know how to contact them. Third, get positive. This moping around crud don't impress the women. Depression is an issue they don't want to deal with in a relationship. Also might want to change your nic, a lot of women find smoking yucky. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 8:43:23 AM | | Ok now all we need is for the man to come here and see what we have written and trust in the facts that there are a few of us out here whom are willing to help in out... | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 12:52:32 PM | I can relate. I have gotten two replies. One was they already found someone and the other has chatted twice then nothing.
I am lonely and want someone female to talk to that could work into more.
I have lots of friends and they all tell me "a woman would be lucky to have you" and that sort of thing. I don't get it.
I am not a basket case or anything. I just hate being alone and have been for nearly a year.
I wish I knew what was up with the dating scene. I have tried bars, dating sites and even had friends try to arrange meetings at parties so they didn't seem like match making and nothing. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 12:54:17 PM | BTW, pandora, I sure wish you lived closer! I would love to talk to you. oh well, maybe the distance isn't insurmountable. If you want to chat let me know.
Steven | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 1:09:33 PM | | I,m sorry you feel that way. You sound like a really nice guy. I dont understand why its so hard to meet people, it just is. I live way up here in the u.p. of michigan, and I just moved here from maine a couple of months ago. I've been hopeing to meet someone here but they dont like people who arent from here. And I'm not having any luck either with this online dating stuff. I guess the only thing I can say to you is hang in there and keep trying. The right person may show up, afterall it only takes one hit and it might be the right one. Good luck, amelena | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 1:19:25 PM |
He emailed me, but apparently he's deleted his profile. :( Oh well..
I was wondering if it was a troll job with all the gawd awful spelling. | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 1:22:15 PM | I dont think it was.. I think he got discouraged and left.
Steven, thanks for the interest! Alabama is a lil far for me though haha, I cant even make things work out with guys who live 15 mins away! | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 1:34:57 PM | | @ Marlboro, welcome to POF, man. @ Tantalizing, "animals on a chain?" Kinky! You can put this wolf on a chain anytime you want, babe!!! | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 1:49:06 PM | he had a thread awhile ago with the same complaints....then his profile disappeared.
i can't tell if this is some wierd game he is playing or if he is really insecure/depressed
well if he comes back then i hope he takes in some of the great advise you guys have given him | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 2:36:18 PM | so you joined yesterday posted this and now your profile isn't available?
Umm how can we help you?
I reply to my e-mails.....
HMMM can we all say TROLL?????? | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 4:51:10 PM | Marlboro.Man wrote:
I have done everything here ,and quit once already.
Did ever read the thing about posting a pic ?
You havent done everything... | |
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Posted: 10/16/2005 5:27:42 PM | | well here's some good advice that i got from a guy out here named wattafind in the title of your message to a girl say something catchy like "congratulations you've been pre approved" this guy is the coolest check him out he's a wiz out here | |
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