| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 11:51:48 AM | | I am very interested in hearing the comments from the gals and the guys regarding the importance of sex in a relationship. I'm sure we all agree it is important but my question is, do you consider sex to be the be all end all. I must be meeting the wrong people or something.....most are happy as long as the sex continues and doesn't dwindle. But what about imtimate conversation, taking a walk and holding hands, cuddling on the couch without it leading to the bedroom each time.To me there's so much more to a relationship other than sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm not antisex, but experience this so often with men it makes me wonder..........curious about your thoughts....maybe it's just me.... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 12:06:37 PM | Of course sex isn't everything in a relationship. There is so much more between the two of you that make the relationship one. Holding hands and cuddling are all great ways to show your love for the other. Sex to me is only important when it happens. It needs to be diverse, passionate some days, then crazy and wild on others.
Jay ;) | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 12:18:54 PM | In a committed relationship? I think sex is very important. Sometimes when all else seems to be falling apart, sex can be the one thing that will draw you toward each other. Having said this, I don't believe that intially it is or should be the most important variable..Quite frankly, the very opposite. I think sex should be the crowning pinnacle achieved after all other levels of intimacy have been developed. My formula for intimacy leading to sex is found on the following website:
http://www.couplescompany.com/Advice/Articles/Intimacy_Stages/default.htm
I think too many people jump from Physical Attraction and Common Interests to Sex....then they wonder why they crash and burn... Intimacy involves so much more than sex. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 12:25:03 PM | WAY WAY WAY important...
It is the time when a couple is closest to each other. If you don't have that, it's certainly a threat to undermine everything else.
Of course, their are relationships which for some reason can't include sex so people have to make the most of whatever they share together... and some people DO make that work; so it doesn't absolutely have to be "important", but I'd say in almost any case, the relationship is much better if it is... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 12:46:00 PM | | hmmmmm.....the quallity or quantity???or both???Not as important as the spiritual connection but well more important than what I think of her family...... to rate it is abusurdly arbitrary.so I'll bive it an 8 on a scale of 10...HUH??? 10% of a good relationship and 90% of one thats bad.... | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 2:00:42 PM | | Unless you love with all your heart, it's just SEX anyway. But when you really love someone and they love you making love is an extension of all day foreplay... romance, cuddling, going for a walk, an intimate conversation, saying what's on your mind and heart, doing joint things together, etc... without that, it's not important at all. It's just sex. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 2:19:23 PM | | Well Pandorarevealed, I consider it important but what I've found is that most relationships I've had seem to home in on the sexual part from my partner. I need the emotional intimacy as well. Does that sound stupid? | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 2:41:35 PM | But what about imtimate conversation, taking a walk and holding hands, cuddling on the couch without it leading to the bedroom each time.To me there's so much more to a relationship other than sex.
This is the glue that keeps love alive, without it, sex is sex. Meaningless. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 3:18:59 PM | | WEll, sex I would estimate is about 1/4th of a meaningful relationship. Once the days of lust, and passion subside into a more level tolerance of living with a mate, sex drifts downward as a provider of sustaining that relationship. I would never say it is not important, but it loses some importance, and the touch, look, and feel of love is just as meaningful, and the passion of a gentle kiss has always been a wonderful blessing of contact that doesn't have to lead to the bedroom. Relationships are far more than the sex which takes up so much of your desires in the beginning. The true love is tested in the longevity of LIKING as much as Loving, especially if you are depending on sex to be the only measure of love in a long term relation. To think this would be the naieve mistake of youth which tends to blow sex out of proportion in the early going. The test of love is in the longevity and faithful devotion and worship of your woman (speaking from a man's view). I cannot be the sex machine I once was to my wife, but the enduring love is still there, though in a different sort of more mellowed out relationship. But you remember the vows you took, the love you always have had, and don't let the diminishing sex ruin your view of what a relationship of true value is. Too many seek greener pastures only to find themselves lost in a desert. If sex is your gauge of a successful relationship, my view is never to love than to love and lose it all. Dont put a woman through such a hardship with your confusion, men. Too many have it difficult enough as it is. The selfish act of only self fulfillment is a goal that leads to only destruction of your relationship and your life. Sex is only a part of the greatness in a good woman. Learn to appreciate that, and your woman will reward you in kind. It requires devotion on both sides. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 3:22:53 PM | | LOL after reading this last post I'm reminded of something the fellow said that I just broke up with: He said what is the use of passion and romance, why not start off with it worn out, then there are no let downs. GEEZ | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 3:36:38 PM | I don't think you can give this a number, that would be meaningless. But, I do think sex is an important part of an ongoing relationship e.g. marriage. Yes, things change over time, however it remains important. Maybe because the physical expression of love and caring is part of the cement in an enduring relationship.
If "regular" sex is not possible due to one partner's physical problems there are many other ways to enjoy intimacy and closeness. And - pardon me while I put on my gerontology hat for a moment - older people (people in their late 70's 80's and up) who are happily married (or otheriwise partnered) report that they still have fulfilling sex lives. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 3:42:09 PM | I have to agree with Georgie as well.
I'd personally rate it a 6 out of 10. Of course it's important to some degree, I mean.. without sex I think that the relationship would lack an awful lot of strong and powerful emotions and pleasure. But it is in no way the end be all to any long-lasting relationship.
For example, just picture yourself trying to make love to a mute. It may seem like some kinda crazy far-fetched fantasy to some guys, especially if she's got a really hot body and it's strictly a one-nighter. But for guys like me, it's way beyond imaginable trying to imagine myself pleasuring a woman without any verbal communication such as an ''oh my god that feels good right there'' or a ''yes, please do more of that,'' or even a simple moan for that matter. Non-verbal communication can be good too like grabbing, biting, scratching, or pulling hair. But nothing makes sex more pleasurable and intimate than knowing your partner is being satisfied by communicating it with you through some verbal means.
Communication is most important I think. Without it, a relationship will never reach it's full potential. Because a person needs to know what they are doing right and what could be better. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/8/2004 7:04:10 PM | Yes, communicating to your partner what you're needs are are important.
I rate sex very important in a relationship..any relationship. If you're the female and the male thinks it's important then it should be just as important to you or vise versa. If not there is always the chance he/she's not satisfied...personally I want my partner satisfied as much as I want myself satisfied. In any area of the relationship both partners should want to satisfy the other no matter it be from sex to dinners. (had to mix sex with food) | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/9/2004 2:57:50 AM | | All of your comments are very interesting and appreciated. I'm not saying sex is unimportant, but if each time a man touches you, starts groaning, and you know where you'll end up, it becomes so predictable and to me a big turn off. If he can't tenderly kiss you, give you a hug, cuddle to watch a movie without getting all horned up, that bothers me. Maybe I'm odd. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/9/2004 3:13:36 AM | Incompatible sex drives can be a real downer. If you don't enjoy sex as often as your partner (or maybe you're turned on by different things?) then you should explore why that is. I certainly don't expect my gal to give it up to me every time we watch a movie... but sex IS very important to me and I do have a very strong sex drive. Part of that is my age... but even if my partner wanted sex more often than I did I would find some way to make it work. Some possibilities:
- Find new outlets for your partner's sexual energy. Perhaps they could start writing stories about the two of you
- Perhaps they could come up with some script / plot the two of you could act out later.
- Ladies can always give pictures ( and  ) of themselves to their guys... if they trust them this can be a great way for you to stimulate your guy when you're not in the mood
I know that when I'm satisfied sexually that a lot of other great things start happening... both for me AND my partner. So sometimes you just bite the bullet to get things going... maybe you have sex when you didn't really want to... and you might start noticing your guy giving you more of those intimate conversations, walks on the beach etc. that you long for. Give and take people. | |
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IanR
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Joined: 9/26/2004
Msg: 19 | |
| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/9/2004 8:12:57 AM | | well little lady the answer is easy Ah relationshipe should be based on three things Lust trust and respect. You loose any of that the relationship is over. The trust and respect has to be earned unlike the lust. But if u loose the trust or respect u can't get it back. you loose the lust it can be worked on Have I confussed u I know I am LOL.I do no one thing I would lust for you and you can trust me on that LOL | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/9/2004 1:34:01 PM | | most are happy as long as the sex continues and doesn't dwindle. Would you be happy if the sex dwindled? It is certainly not everything, but there are enough things to thwart life giving loving without us actively thinking it might be better if it 'dwindled'. | |
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| How Do You Rate The Importance of Sex In A Relationship
Posted: 12/9/2004 1:57:45 PM | | Tesaz, I agree with you. I once dated a fellow who couldn't walk past me, even when I was doing dishes without grabbing my tits or crotch! Talk about always being on edge! It got to the point where I would walk away when I saw him coming. With him there was no just snuggling up in bed and having pillow talk--it was sex every d*mned night! And I knew it. So I would try and postpone going to bed even. Cuddling and touching without sexual overtones is very very imporant in a relationship--it proves to the woman she is more valueable than a sex toy! When that is all he wants -- he can hit the road. | |
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