| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:11:30 PM | i'll start off by admitting that i have no kids and i don't plan on having any in the near future but:
what's the deal with parents now a days with their "time outs" geez i was spanked as a kid and i turned out alright?
when i was a kid i got spanked when i did something bad (i'm sure a lot of you were raised up like that) my kid sister (now 9) is one of those "time out kids" my mother never spanks her. my mothers idea of punishment now is sending her to her room. HELLO the girl has cable TV a playstation 2 her own phone line and a computer in her room how is that punishment?
Has parenting changed that much in 12 years? i just don't understand how parents (like my friend Amanda) can talk to and treat their kids like adults when the kid isn't even old enough to understand what you're saying. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:16:41 PM | I see nothing wrong with spanking..I was spanked as well and turned out fine. I dont agree in beatings and I dont agree that everytime your child does something wrong it merits a spanking...but I definately think it's appropriate at some times.
When I was younger my mom used a "switch" that's right.. a twig from a tree..worse part she made us pick it out and said if it wasn't big enough she'd get a bigger one LOL My grandmother liked a wet dish towel and my father used the belt LOL No I was not beaten!!! But I was a hell child let me tell you that...I can only imagine how I'd be nowadays if I had no discipline!!
As for talking to your child I think it's bogus most of the time. Thing is..each child is different and should be treated as such. Spankings MAY work for some and not for others..time outs MAY work for some and not others. You definately need to treat each child and each situation on a case by case basis. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:24:09 PM | well when i was a kid my mother used to use her hand for spankings but as i got a bit older she switched to the wooden spoon my father was only caled in if i did something real bad (like the time when i was 7 and decided that my moms new car needed to be spray painted) and my dad would use the leather belt. i turned out fine and i'm not "emotionally scarred" like these people make it out to be saying that if you spank your kid you'll traumatize them for life.
OT: the other day my mother and i were at the dollar store and we saw a woman buying a 5 pack of wooden spoons. i turned to my mom and said "they don't make 'em like they used to, eh?" | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:28:01 PM | | I have one thing to say..we are on such a political correctness track today of talking to your child rather than disciplining them..yet crime is going up in younger children... hrm.. lack of discipline perhaps? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:28:40 PM | | the manner in which a child is disciplined nowadays is being dictated by the government.....it is considered child abuse for anyone to hit a child.......unfortunately, this comes about from a small number of parents who have seriously injured their kids by use of physical punishment, and hence the presents laws and regulations.............however, the options have not fared much better.......kids soon learn that they can manupulate their parents through talking and negotiating, even at an early age......the results are that we now have a generation that seems to be more brazen and less mindful of authority! | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:29:30 PM | | I have three 12,15,20 all good kids, people ask me what I did for them to turn out so well. Don't really know, but I didn't hurt them. Not everyone is like me, some people have real brats. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:31:58 PM | I don't see anything wrong with spanking either. I was spanked.. I'm fine.
With all the problems we have with kids these days, perhaps a few more SHOULD be spanked. Or at least leave it to the discretion of the parents. The government is invading our lives too much (but I won't get into a political debate.. darn Democrats lol) | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:35:30 PM | I was spanked.
Wooden spoon
Plastic spoon
Belt
Switch
And I turned out fine. A lot of the time, talking does NOT work for kids. When you're child is in the backseat of the car SCREAMING for no reason other than to scream. it's almost impossible to sit there and say calmly "Please stop....use you're inside voice....that's not nice" etc when she's 3 or whatever. It just doesnt happen.
My view:
Try to correct the behavior three times.
If it doesnt work, a spanking is warranted. Usually one or two smacks on the bottom (NEVER THE FACE) and then a time out in the bedroom. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 5:36:18 PM | | The problem is kids know they cant be touched nowadays. My 15 yr old cousin is the she devil has been the last 3 yrs...her mother can't smack her to discipline her..all she says to her mother is "I'll call the cops and you'll go to jail" that's pretty sad when you can't even discipline your child. She also knows her mother cant throw her out of the house even tho she beats up her younger brother and sister...FACS has told my cousin she can't touch her (the 16 yr old) and that if she places the 16 yr old in foster care, she'll have an open case for them to be watching her other children like a hawk because she's giving one up. Unruly children or children that have no respect for authority etc are alot different to deal with than regular children. Trust me I use to be one of those unruly kids.. you could have sat me in a corner until I was blue in the face and it would do nothing for me. Smack my butt with the belt? Let me tell you..it stood in my mind that if I did what I originally did to start with again...I'd be feeling that twinge of pain again very soon. That was enough to stop me. Again..I wasn't beaten... but I think we need to teach children there are consequences for their actions that perhaps they won't like. If you let them get away with everything what does it teach them when they go into the world and do something stupid but get arrested for and now all of a sudden they have consequences for their actions? | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:11:08 PM | Pffft SweatTreat I used to babysit this kid who constantly threatened to call the cops on me. Of course, this same kid (ten year old) also pulled a gun on me but that's a different story. Point is, kids threaten, but rarely come through. And then it's all heresay.
A smack on the buttocks never did any kid harm.
There's this one woman at my stable who has a 16 year old kid. Here's a dialogue I heard between them as verbatem as I can remember. I'll call him Eddie.
Eddie: "Why did you turn out Missy after I told you not to?"
Mom: "Why wouldn't I turn her out?"
Eddie: "Because I told you not to!"
Mom: "I'm sorry."
Eddie: "You're so stupid! Why do you do things when I tell you not to do them!"
Okay, the horse in question does not belong to Danny. It belongs to his mother. He calls her B*i*t*c*h*, stupid, idiot, and yells at her constantly.
And she tries to talk him through it, but always ends up losing these fights. Perhaps if the boy had gotten a swat to the toosh a bit when he was younger, he wouldn't have this problem now. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:25:41 PM | | ^^^ Maybe if mom would have learned how to be assertive, and talk to the boy about his behaviour at a YOUNGER age, those problems would not be there today. What is spanking going to do? Show how mom/ dad has no control- so the way to keep things together is to get physical. Kids learn from what they see others do. And when that kid goes to school, hitting others, it's because he has seen it being done! You have to explain to them what kind of behavior is acceptable and what isn't. I have 3 kids and they are well behaved. Perhaps it is because i learned the hard way how spankings can effect your self esteem. I will be damned if i do that to my child. It's amazing how well they listen if you refrain from losing control. | |
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Klo
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:27:43 PM | | What's wrong with children these days is the fact parents don't spank them or displine them in anyway. It's ridiculous to see how some of these children act out in public....and then you got the parent standing there not doin a damn thing. Kids shouldn't have the upper hand...if they threaten to call the cops..oh well, then call the cops. Some of these parents let the kids be the authoritve figure and give them everything they want-that's why there are so many deliquent kids out there these days. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:47:59 PM | ^^^ EXACTLY! Amen Sister! 
And Bambi - as a kid, which punishment guarenteed future compliance? The promise of a swat to the buttocks? Or a "talking to". I always felt I'd gotten away with something if I got the "talking to". Turn on the water works, quiver the lower lip a little, give the puppy dog eyes and "promise never to do it again"... well... at least for a week. But if I knew the punishment would be a spanking (and bear in mind I only got spanked 4 times in my life by my folks) I avoided that action at all costs!
Other punishments listed in severity: Took away tv priviledges, phone priviledges, grounding (which was no friends, no tv, no phone, no computer), took away horseback riding lessons, violin lessons, and finally the spanking (hand, then wooden spoon, then belt) | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 6:52:51 PM | | Spanking isn't discipline. It is just hitting your child. There are more constructive ways to discipline children and spanking is not one that I consider. I have good kids...they don't need spankings...I just need to raise my voice and give them the "look" and whammo...they know what it's all about. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:02:11 PM | | Norolim........you spank a child and that spanking will leave a mark on the rear for a few minures....their self esteem forever! There are other ways of discipling a child other than striking them. I feel sorry for the parents who don't know this. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:10:13 PM | bambi,
My self-esteem is great. And I was spanked growing up...right until I hit about 12 yrs of age.
I, personally, think it's b.s when people say "you're demeaning the child" or 'their self esteem will be hurt'...ppffttt....gimme a break.
I was spanked
My parents were spanked
Their parents were spanked
Their parents parents were spanked...you see where I'm going with this.
And it never did ANYONE any harm.
Now, all of a sudden, you can't discipline your children? Discipline shows them what is acceptable and what isnt. If talking doesnt work, if time-outs dont work, then spanking is the next reasonable course of action.
It's not that you have 'no control'. You're taking -perfect- control of the child's behavior by reasserting that what they continue to do is unacceptable.
You dont spank when you're angry and want to throttle the kid (been there...gave MYSELF a time out), you spank while you have a clear head..while you're not upset or angry.
If I told stories of how my mother and father treated myself and my sister as a kid, you'd all think I was abused. But I wasnt..(well, a little bit) we had a strict upbringing and still do today...(as I live with my parents).
But spanking, did NOTHING to my self esteem.
I remember telling my dad once who was giving me heck for not doing my chores: "You cant hit me or yell at me like that. I'll call child services".
Wanna know what he did?
He went and got the phone book, wrote down the number and handed me the phone and said "Here ya go" lol he's recently done that with my younger sister, who's an absolute terror.
But, she's a terror because they let her do that. Growing up, she got maybe 2 spankings..if that. She always whined and screamed "NO daddy dont!"...and Dad would go "ok fine...." and walk away. Even now, thats what he says to her. She can mouth off to them and scream, throw things, slam doors and all they say is "keep it up, you'll loose the internet"...so she stops for 10min then when you ask her to peel potatoes she goes back into it and they just shrug it off.
Thats where there's problems. Parents dont discipline anymore...they shrug it off and try to treat their children like friends. You are NOT your childs friend. You are their PARENT. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:10:34 PM | Their self esteem forever? Kind of over dramatic dont you think? I was spanked and have the highest self esteem around. Beatings...are wrong. Spanking... not a problem.
Wait..let me rephrase... I see nothing wrong with spanking for discipline..its a topic thats controversial and everyone is entitled to think ti's right or wrong. I beleive each child needs to be dealt with in a different way. But I dont think those that choose spanking as discipline should be looked at as evil and irresponsible with their children. Afterall you don't know what that child did to deserve their punishment. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:17:38 PM | i'm sorry i just don't understand how people can tell you to talk to a kid under even 10 like an adult do you people really think that they can understand what you're saying to them.
i mean sure you give warnings and i don't think spanking should be a first resort but there is nothing in my opinion wrong with a swat on the behind now and then to get your point aross heck i think it's a million times better then yelling at the poor kid | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:24:31 PM | Pffft SweatTreat I used to babysit this kid who constantly threatened to call the cops on me.
The problem with my little cousin is she turns 16 on Oct 31...my cousin knows if she calls the cops she'll immediately get a criminal record, (as told her by FACS) albeit it's erased when she turns 21...she doesn't want to do that. HOWEVER, she's gotten so unruly...like I said she's beating up her younger siblings. Her school is expelling her come her 16th birthday for unruly behaviour in school and tardyness. So please tell me..do you think this is a child you can sit down and nicely say "sweetheart...whats wrong?" Ummmmm nope. LOL Been there DONE that. As a former unruly child that had no respect for anyone (thank god I've changed) I know EXACTLY how a kid like that thinks. And as someone else stated... a "talking to" makes you think you got away with everything you just did. Btw norolim this is a general statement not directed at you..at least not the last part of it lol | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:29:52 PM | I remember telling my dad once who was giving me heck for not doing my chores: "You cant hit me or yell at me like that. I'll call child services".
Wanna know what he did?
He went and got the phone book, wrote down the number and handed me the phone and said "Here ya go" lol he's recently done that with my younger sister, who's an absolute terror.
Thats FUNNY.... I tried the EXACT same thing with my mom when I was about 13 and she did the same thing to me! I threatened to call the cops and she handed me the phone and dialed the number for me HAHA. As for lack of discipline it sometimes comes down to lazyness I HATE lazy parents. I was out the other day and this kid about 9 years old was standing SCREAMING for no reason in the middle of a parking lot. She was sitting on a bench and he was licking the ground (eww I know) lol and all she said was "david come here" of course he didnt listen and proceeded to scream and act out more. To which she continuted to say "come here". ya know what? Get off your lazy ass..take some initiative...grab your child by the arm, set him down and take some control. Ahhhh but to each his own ! | |
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Klo
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 23 | |
| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:39:38 PM | Halo...you are absolutely right. I was spanked and I was even wacked with the belt when I did something terrible...but I didnt turn out bad-im well-rounded and college educated and it didnt do ANYTHING to my self-esteem.
Parents shouldnt have to negotiate when it comes to disipline- if you're constantly telling them to stop, then I think you need to step up the level of disipline...spank 'em. Throwing them in time out for 2 minutes isnt gonna do sh*t cause they are gonna keep doin what they're doin. Spanking them is a lot more effective. | |
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| what's so bad about spanking your kid?
Posted: 10/16/2005 7:43:01 PM |
the manner in which a child is disciplined nowadays is being dictated by the government.....it is considered child abuse for anyone to hit a child.......unfortunately, this comes about from a small number of parents who have seriously injured their kids by use of physical punishment, and hence the presents laws and regulations
Saddest of all, the kids that are truly abused by their parents are still being abused and seriously hurt. While other parents are afraid to use any physical discipline at all. | |
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