| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:30:33 AM | I keep running into guys online who won't talk to me at all if I don't instant message them. I truly don't understand it. Are some people so addicted to IM they can't/won't communicate any other way? Personally I prefer to meet in person fairly quickly so that nobody wastes their time. Is it a case that some people only prefer cyber relationships and want an IM quickie rush instead of a date? Do they prefer fantasy to reality? WTF? | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:33:32 AM | Some guys do seem to prefer a bit of fantasy!!!!
I'm pretty careful of giving out my yahoo... I like to keep it within the site...
Because anytime I make the mistake of giving up my yahoo too quickly. .... within a minute.. they are talking about their c o c k!!!! And it is really annoying!
I'm here to meet someone in REAL time!!! LOL They can chat with someone else for their assisted masturbation!!! | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:42:52 AM | Yes, coastergal, that's the feeling I get about it...it's not enough to whack off to a picture, they want to pretend I'm a willing participant...fun for them, a bore for me. I mean, I believe in REAL sex, not dream lovers, why talk about it instead of DO it? "What are you wearing"? Sheesh! Come meet me for coffee and find out, ya lunkhead!!!
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 4 | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:49:25 AM | LMAO BPMG...whelp, it's pretty MESSY for a woman!! LOL
guys do it ALL the time!!! That's why I don't give out my personal...... Not sure how they type!!! | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:51:38 AM | Astrosky.. I think of it as a great weeding... out tool!!!!!
I have a girlfriend that guys send pictures of their units all the time... when I guy asks me.. if I want to see it.. I'm like. NO
Why would I want to see a picture? Couldn't I just look at porn???
I'm a see it to believe it kind of girl!!! | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:38:51 AM | All I can figure is these guys are so used to their canned masturbation routine they prefer it to real sex. How sad, and stupid of them. Have they forgotten the feel of a real lover in their arms? Its a bad habit, guys, break out of it or you'll still be whacking away on IM when you start collecting social security!
Can I get any answers from guys who have other reasons to insist on IM besides cheap thrills? | |
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BPMG
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Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:45:19 AM | I actually don't like IM. It seems intrusive to me, a little like someone going door to door until they find someone who will let them in. I'm sure that's not the case with all but I have had bad experiences with IM.
Chuck | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:50:30 AM | Me too, BPMG, its something I'm just not into, having people pop in at random out of the blue expecting you to drop what you're doing and be delighted to hear from them...reminds me of phone solicitors. "I have a great offer just for YOU" - I doubt it! | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 12:08:31 PM | I usually skip IM, one or two emails and then talk on the phone. The sooner you take things away from the computer and into the real world the better.
I've had a few people suggest IM before we talk on the phone, and although I am happy to comply, I just don't get it.
Most of the good dates I have had have been ones where we talked and met quickly - no dragging it out online. | |
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BbqBat
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Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/24/2005 8:07:54 PM | | I personally find IMing annoying. I tend to forget that the person is there if I'm doing work on my computer. You're perfectly right to be angry with people who would rather chat then check you out in person, though I do appreciate getting to know someone on msn or through a few conversations (messages, not IM) first. | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:40:04 PM | | I've had girls want me to IM them. I tried with one and all I got were one word answers and she didn't ask me more than two questions. I think she was talking to a bunch of guys at the same time. I never contacted her again. I'd rather just send some emails back and forth, then talk on the phone if it seems like it may have a chance of working out. | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/25/2005 9:52:34 PM | | I don't do IM........... interuptive, waste of time, to quick, to easy ........ if you are serious and would like any type of reply then you will have to send me a note ........ and more that a ........'hi' | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/25/2005 11:02:44 PM | There have been a few occasions where I've gone from first email to meeting someone in the span of a few hours - or less. Very spontaneous.
Those dates have generally gone MUCH better than the standard email, IM, phone, etc, which can go on for days or weeks. Why? No time to build expectations, or 'think' you've gotten to know someone.
Conversely, the longer I've spent emailing and talking on the phone before I met someone, the less likely it has been to work out.
Anyone else have similar experiences? | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/25/2005 11:15:14 PM | | Yeah, the first person I met online, who I spent 5 months talking to online and on the phone (he lived in a different state at the time)... When we finally met it only lasted about 4 more months.. He actually did prefer the online "fantasy" thing and was on "many" web sites, to put it bluntly..... Live and learn | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 1:38:51 AM | mojo,
My experience has been mixed but on balance I'd have to say yes, those I met earlier (up to a week or so) worked out better than those that "dragged out" so to speak.
Interesting too, there are some I'm open to meeting right away and others I tend to put off and then decide there's just no reason to EVER meet. Perhaps that's just a sign that first instincts are often right.
On topic - God I hate IM. Whose brilliant idea was that!?!?!?!
Off topic - How's my speeling and gramma? I meant to go to bed hours ago but keep finding myself clicking into your posts. You're pretty damn funny! | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 3:59:04 AM | | I guess I'm the exception. I like IM - but I work with a group that's all over the country, so it's the easiest way for us to stay in touch and keep working on the same page. I have no problem telling guys 'Sorry, I'm too busy to chat right now' exactly as I would if they telephoned me when I was busy - and I find an IM a lot less disturbing than a phone call. IMs also have a block or an ignore button that I don't hesitate to use if someone's first contact with me via IM turns into 'so what are you wearing?' I like being able to have a realtime conversation without giving out my phone number - where it's a whole lot harder to block someone if you find out that they were just looking for a quickie assistant. | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 4:13:41 AM | I beleive its a start......to a friendship or possible more. I have no problem with IMs. I take my time getting to know the person in IM. It mit not end up any place but its a start. Speaking for myself here....fantasy is ok but reality is much better.
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 4:34:31 AM | | I so agree with you! I spent 2 months "getting to know this guy" and we couldnt wait to meet....then we did, and.........it didnt work out. So disappointing ! It felt like we had "broken up".......NOW, after a few emails, if I feel a connection, I insist on meeting. There is no point in dragging out months and months of soul baring emails back and forth. The fantasy that you build up between yourselves is bound to cause unrealistic expectations. | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 1:03:02 PM | | I'm one of the people that prefer to "IM" for awhile (a long while at that). It seems the women that are crazy are better at hinding the fact they are crazy better than the men are crazy. If you get my meaning | |
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| Why is not using IM a dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2005 4:11:55 PM | My guess is that anyone who wants to wait a long time before they meet someone is probably insecure, afraid or hiding something. Or all of the above.
To each his own, but to me, the point of a site like this is to be a stepping stone to getting out there and MEETING people. We all know that the first 5 minutes tells us if we are truly interested in someone, so spending weeks getting to those first 5 minutes is a pointless waste of time.
People say "well I want to get to know someone before I take the step of meeting them," but getting to know someone is the POINT of meeting them! Email and IM just don't give you the whole picture. It doesn't matter how much time you spend IMing, when you meet in person, it's like the reset button has been hit - it's a whole new ballgame.
Read the profile, send 1 or 2 emails, chat on the phone for 20 minutes then go meet. Trying to evaluate someone before you meet them is like trying to figure out what a sandwhich will taste like before you put it in your mouth. | |
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