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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/24/2005 10:51:51 AM | My son is just over 4 months old, his dad has been involved in his life since he was a month old...
Since my son started going over to his Dad's for the weekend, everytime I pick my son up, it never fails, he reeks of sour formula, and it's caked in the creases of his neck...
I have told him over and over again that he needs to clean the young man. I have no patience for adults, and he has beyond worn mine out here...
I'm actually to the point of either ripping him a new hole, or telling him he can only take my son during the day, but has to have him home with me overnight so I can clean him up...
I'm sure my son's father isn't the only un-clean pig in this world...Any advice on what I can do with this guy?
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:07:24 AM | | patience is a true virtue your ex has a much right in your sons life as u do, maybe u can have someone else tell him that your ex respects and has authority | |
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/24/2005 11:53:37 AM | | If he wants to be a pig that is his perogative, but your son did not ask to be treated like that. I would tell him that if he can not look after him properly then he can forget having him for too long, I would also take a camera the next time you pick him up and right in front of your ex take pics (just tell him if he asks that they are just in case). | |
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/24/2005 12:33:11 PM | The problem with this is that depending on how long a baby is left like that sores will develope which can lead to infections. While your sons father does have a right to visitation he does need to learn how to care for the child. It could be he is unaware of what needs to be done and is possibly scared to bathe a baby. I know a lot of guys who are basically scared to hold their own child because they are afraid of breaking or hurting them.
Might try to see if there are some first time dad classes around that he can take. | |
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/26/2005 11:18:40 PM | THANK YOU SHADOWKNIGHT! I have told him over and over and over again that curdled milk brings about bacteria and can cause an infection in his neckline...It's nice to know that other people know these things too (not to be too sarcastic)...
I do agree, his father does have a right to see him, and I'm grateful that my son will know his father...
The problem is, and the list gets long, mainly that he has his girlfriend doing all the 'un-fun' stuff with my son; she feeds him, bathes him, changes his diapers and all that, and according to his brother, it is 'because she needs the practice since she's pregnant'...I don't blame her for this, as I have felt from the start of him being a part of my son's life, that it is not her job to raise another's woman's child (especially with her own on the way)...
Just this last weekend, my son's other grandmother (the ex's mom) picked him up on Saturday...Somehow it came up about the weekends, and I mentioned to her that I frequently sit at home and have to convince myself not to call over to see how my son is doing...She minimized what I said with "I raised 6 kids myself, and I know my son is good with kids, so you have nothing to worry about"
I think I will take on everyone's advice here...I've started taking pictures of my son before and after he leaves to see his Dad, and if they ever let me into their apartment, I'm going to try and take pictures...
I almost feel some form of reassurance that maybe I'm not being too uptight like I've been told by others about this...I appreciate it all...
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/27/2005 5:24:26 AM | | Wait a minute here...count your blessings! You have a man who wants to be involved, and who is not shirking his responsibilities - do you know how fortunate you are???...as for the other stuff, for heaven sakes, if he doesn't know how, why don't you show him how - in a nice and friendly way so that he will be more open to paying attention. Explain about infections, show him how to clean it, etc. | |
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| Advice on visitation, please
Posted: 10/27/2005 8:42:45 PM | | After working around this sort of thing for sometime now, i have found two types of people that look after kids....1. the ones that dont care. 2.the ones that dont know how. Neglect is a form of abuse, but he may not know any different. Try letting him see the child for the day under supervision untill you can see he KNOWS how to look after the kid. Teach him in a gently gently manner. Just an idea. | |
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