| | why do women always bring up the past?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Whenever men make a mistake (which they apologize for) women will tend to forgive them........ well at least for a little while until they can use it against their man again.
Why do women like to torcher men this way.....can anyone help me figure this out?
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 3:44:58 PM | Bringing up the past in arguments simply means that certain issues simply have not been resolved.
I wasn't aware that is an exclusively feminine trait. Then again, we women tend to get rather more emotional during arguments, don't we?
May love find you
dee | |
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vp2
| | Joined: 8/29/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 3:48:03 PM | credance,
I've learned a little trick that worked on my ex-wife. Just do the same thing to them. She stopped doing it when I started to.
and design does have a point the past does make us who we are. Sometimes us men can be thick skulled, and we do the same thing again, giving them a reason to bring up the past. | |
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Joy.
| | Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 7 | |
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elle j
| | Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 10 | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:12:49 PM | Some women, and some men, tend to bring up past issues/mistakes during present arguments because the past issue was never really resolved...others do it simply to hurt the person they're arguing with, while with some others it just slips out during the argument and they weren't aware that it still really bothered them. This isn't a specific gender trait. One way to help prevent it form happening is to actually resolve a problem when it first appears; if you communicate about it then, then there's no reason it should ever come up again.
Also, when anyone uses something you told them you did in the past against you, then you have to wonder what their motives really are. Are they angry, hurt, jealous? Are they simply trying to hurt you or make you feel bad? For whatever reason, it still shouldn't be done. The past is the past, and whatever one went through made them into who they are today...and if someone cares about you today, then they shouldn't bring up any mistakes made in your past. | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:16:45 PM | | because whips, chains, burning at the stake, thumb screws and electric shock to name a few either leave marks or are illegal......lol | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:21:41 PM | | All people do that. If you were a girl you would know that. Men b***h all the time, they just think its o.k. Trust me they rember things, and remind us to. | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:33:51 PM | melbuck3
LMAO, that was funny...
I think it takes a miracle for some people to get closure on a previous argument. Men and Women | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:37:07 PM | Why do men always bring up the past?
Why do man always say that they're afraid of commitment because of a woman that screwed them over?
Now if my questions sound like bullshit to you men, that's exactly how the question you posed sounds to us women :) | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:41:50 PM | Ahhhh, do the generalizations ever cease???? Why do men always do this, why do women always do that....?
Bringing up the past is not gender specific.....
I for one am not threatened by my mates past...
Past experiences and what we have learned (or haven't learned ouch!!!) As a result of them has helped mold all of us into what we are today.... I mean sure I don't want to hear about how he made her climax in 30 seconds unless she is gonna give me some pointers...... | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:45:58 PM | Oh dear! Come on! Men do the same!
You let them know something in your past while in your RELATINSHIP! come FREAKIN ON DUDE!
Now if it has nothing to do with the relationship youre in with her, RUN LIKE THE WIND! | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 6:55:31 PM | | credance. iwouldnt worry about women bringing up the past. they usually dont seem to learn enough from it to do anything about it. so whats to dread? thats why so many women bring up the same gripes over and over. they dont bother to actually fix whats broken so they will try to lay it onto the guy. get some good bright orange earplugs and pop em in when the noise starts.-- and let her rip. now if you are doing stuff you're not supposed to be doing at the time then you might deserve the headache. | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:44:56 PM | I agree with the earlier posts
1- unresolved issues
2- in some cases we are trying to establish a pattern of behavior that we are upset by in hopes that you will understand our POV and consider a compromise.
Men are to the point, women are indirect (usually). This is our way of helping you to figure out why we are REALLY mad, bc its probably not the stupid thing were whining about anyways. | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/27/2005 7:45:33 AM | I guess it depends on the mistake, Credance.......
Both men and women do this.... definately NOT gender specific.
I think you'd need to give specifics... If ya apologized for leaving the lid up to the toilet.. I'd get over it.... If you're apologizing... for yelling at me and cursing me.... I might forgive it once... but if it happened again, YES i'd bring it up... BTW the 2nd time would be the last!
So what's the scenario | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/27/2005 7:57:06 AM | | talking/sharing about past experiences is who we are and how we learn from things like mistakes....using it against them is cowardice/ shallow/ evil/ just plan crappy to do to someone. | |
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| why do women always bring up the past?
Posted: 10/27/2005 7:58:21 AM | COASTERGAL...knew there was a reason I liked you so much...no putting up with it if it happens more than once! Obviously the apoligy was moot (spelling is not my fame) then...rock on sister!!!  | |
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