| Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:19:15 PM | I have a friend who is marrying his girlfriend because she is pregnant. I for one don't think that marriage should be based soley on that. I'm not saying he shouldn't take responsibility for the child but he admits he doesn't love her. He can be a good father without marrying this girl; because I'm sure it will end in divorce which will be even harder on the child.
Just curious about other's opinions | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:31:24 PM | | I don't think it's a good idea. To me it seems so old fashioned. Whats the point in getting married if you don't love the person. I think that he should just be there for his girlfriend and his kid, because divorce isn't a good thing for young children to go through. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:38:57 PM | children are not stupid..they understand the subtle dynamics between their parents better than some adults i know. they're very perceptive and sensitive.
marriage that is not based on an honest desire to spend the rest of one's life with that person does no one any favors. it will be seen thru and everyone involved is punished.
there's no shame in being a single parent, and honestly, sometimes its for the best. i can not imagine what sort of hell my and my child's life would be now had i insisted on marriage to my son's father. there's a pillow over someone's face involved in that senario..and it's not my face!!! hate that man....grrrr...
sorry, i got off track there..my bad. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:40:24 PM | | not to sound negative in this matter but in all honesty, if your getting married to someone over a pregnancy, or money or for just about any other reason than being in love, i do not see any future in it. The possibility is slim. I chose not to get married unless it's for the right reasons....all or at least most of my g/f's ended up getting married to guys that had great jobs, and stability....but i could not fall in love for that reason only or get married to someone for security reasons....why do you think most marriages end up in divorces these days? | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:51:52 PM | Man, you have to get married because of love. Kids grow up and leave or they grow up and you wish they would leave. Money comes and goes. Love lasts a long time if it's tended well, but it ain't there to begin with there's no foundation to the marriage.
Yup, it's gotta be for love. Bar none, son. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/21/2004 7:54:25 PM | | GOAT IS RIGHT... WHEN THE KIDS LEAVE THE GIG... AND ITS JUST YOU AND HIM. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? YEARS OF SECRET DESIRES TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE WITH THE KIDS BECAUSE YOU WASTED A SHIT LOAD OF YOUR LIFE BUYING INTO A PIPE DREAM. YET YOUR KIDS JUST GREW UP THINKIN THAT YOU WERE ONE PISSED OF BITCH, BECAUSE YOU WERE NEVER HAPPY. NAH...DONT TRY AND FIX A MISTAKE WITH A MUCH BIGGER ONE. THATS A SNOWBALL HEADED FOR HELL. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/22/2004 11:07:26 AM | noo way!!! a child deserves two parents who love eachother and them too. Thats a happy family. ok..just think..marriage takes place.. what about misscarriage>> then what happens?? 2 ppl stuck together for no reason.
Marriage is about love...end of story. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/22/2004 11:21:27 AM | | It is the worst reason in the world. That is why my ex-husband and I got married. And it was the biggest mistake I ever made. It ends up hurting everyone. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/22/2004 2:34:44 PM |
If he didn't love her, why was he screwing her? He must care some for her because he willing to marry her. It is actually harder for a kid to have one parent than two. Who maybe they will grow their love for each other. Marriage is more than the fireworks you feel for each other according to mother who has been married to my dad for 39 years. Personally, I think that you are in love with him. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/23/2004 8:24:16 AM | I think he'd just have to accept his responsibility toward the child, but marry her???
What a wonderful family would that make... with parents who don't love eachother stuck together just because of you (and he/she would feel it... children are really like small radar for these things)...
The other way (the right one in my thoughts) the child would have a loving mother, with a husband she loves and loves her, and a caring father, with a wife he's in love with...
4 happy parents at the same price of 2 unhappy ones :-)
Cla | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/23/2004 8:49:48 AM | I had the luxery of having to answer my 6 year old sons question "Daddy, why don't you and Mommy live together?" Now, at that moment, I had taken my ex-wife and kids to dinner. She and I will never be together again (mutual agreement). We looked at each other and neither of us could answer right away. She calmly looked at him and said "Mommy and Daddy are better friends this way." He said ok and went back to his nachos (was eating at taco bell)
Kids are very intelligent and don't even know it. Getting married for "old fashioned reasons" is not the way to go. If he doesn't love her, it will not end very well and he will lose in the end. Then on the other hand, maybe they could fall in love with each other and live happily ever after. Who knows.................. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/23/2004 9:43:50 PM | definitely marriage is about love and making babies does not necessarily constitute love as we all know...
if he's admitted to not loving her he will regret a marriage decision forever...
it will be a very sad life for all three of them...
"could fall in love" i don't think so but then again ... who knows.... still doubtful
4 happy parents with one happy and loved child...good option...
no matter what if the parents are happy then the child will be happy too, and that would swing the other way also.
i really hope he doesn't marry her AT LEAST NOT until the baby is born and they can spend some time realizing the reality that they created...
really, my only hope is that that child is taken care of no matter what, cuz he/she never asked to be brought into this "lovely" world we live in, and that should be his/her parents and even grandparents biggest concern...
best of luck to them... | |
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Wicked
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Joined: 3/13/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/24/2004 2:27:17 PM | Marriage is not necessary love or no love. Pregnant or not.
When 2 people love one another there's nothing stronger than that already. What is marriage gonna change? | |
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Wicked
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Joined: 3/13/2004
Msg: 18 | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 6/29/2004 5:40:51 AM | | pregnancy is not a reason to get married. if both of them are sure that they love each other and they want to spend every day till the day they die with the person then they should get married not because of pregnancy | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 7/2/2004 10:41:28 PM | | I say NO. I stayed in a relationship for the kids...."for the kids" now isnt that some kind of statement!?!?!?! A bad relationship is not conductive to a happy normal childhood or their growth into normal adults. I have to say getting married only because of pregnancy is heading toward the future statement "I am staying for the kids" and that will end up being bad for the kids and the adults alike! | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 7/7/2004 6:34:09 PM | | No I do not think that becoming pregnant is a valid reason to get married. Two responsiable individuals can properly raise a child if they are married or not. Mariage should be about more than a child. | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 7/7/2004 9:17:26 PM |
I think your right that being pregnant is no reason to get married. It is much more difficult to raise a child alone but not impossible. Your friend should really think this through before making any decisions about marriage. If she didn't want to be a single parent she could always give the baby up for adoption because there are so many couples who can't get pregnant but desparately want a baby. | |
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blah2
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Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 23 | |
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| Re: Is pregnancy a good reason to get married?
Posted: 7/26/2004 8:51:17 PM | | Okay old fashion here. You sleep with some one this can happen best thing do not have sex with some one you do not love or see your self with in life. Ya I know to late now LOL so then it is no but full responsibility of actions also must be for at lest the next 18 years. As I told my kids keep it zipped or legs crossed tell you know that is the person you do not want to leave. | |
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