| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 11:03:10 AM | I've read many posts here on what a woman wants..what a man wants. Then 101 things not to say during sex.
It got me thinking yesterday and then I ended up doing some research and found many different websites that cater to teaching sex. In your relationship what extremes would you go to, to make your sex life better? Assuming that you have a wonderful line of communication and that's not the issue. Keeping the fire going...is where I'm headed. Would you be prepared to go to sex 101? There are such classes....Kama Sutra...where to find the g'spot..for men and women....working and finding the shockra with your partner. Very interesting material.
My thoughts are yes I would...you can never learn enough. I would want to know as much about anything that would keep the fire burning hot. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 11:57:00 AM | | Absolutely! I think it's actually necessary to do something like this in a long-term relationship. I think you need to find ways of keeping the embers glowing, need to find new inspiration, technique ... it could definately be interesting! | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 12:08:35 PM | | My partner could care less, and neither do I. Obsession is a peculiar thing. I sometimes feel like Mr. Spock, of Star Trek, who failed to see the logic in human behavior. I see what he felt. Much ado about not that much. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 12:16:10 PM | Newly single, it's Chakra and the only way that ties into sexuality is with Tantric sex. The Chakra's are energy centres in the body. There are 7 primary Chakra's (nine if youa re hardcore and count the upper two spiritual centre's) and 22 minor chakra's. Sexuality is only a SMALL part of the role that Chakra's play in the existence of your soul in the material world.
Okay. Sorry.....I tend to ramble....it's the Gemini in me.
Now onto making sex better for your partner.
Some people think if it feels good for them, it feels good for the other. Wrong, sometimes.
I've found that making sex better for your partner does not happen over night. It happens over weeks and months. To make sex better for your partner, in my view, a lover has to balance give and take. Some people only worry about the other person and forget about themselves. All people should remember that sex is about two people, not just one.
Taking the time to explore your loves body and paying attention to their response is what makes it better. There are more erogenous zones on your body than you can shake a stick at. Unfortuantely, a lot of people don't take the time to explore them of discover them. You need to use not only your sexual organ, you need to use your lips, tongue, fingers, chin, nose, hands, wrists, eyelashes, back of your hands.............it's really a whole body experience.
To boot, I'm not just talking about the big "O". It's the whole thing. I've often said (and been laughed at) for saying that foreplay doens't start when the lights go out at night, it actually starts in the morning when you get out of bed, goes on all day, peaks in the evening and explodes between the sheets. *sigh* some people just don't get it though. Of course, I've also said that if when you wake up something isn't bruised, sore or cramped, you weren't doing it right....
So.....explore.......explore your lovers body and PAY ATTENTION to their response. When being loved, let your partner explore YOUR body as well and RESPOND! When they do something you like, that feels good or that you hope they do again, RESPOND! Never be afraid to say "....a little to the left ...ahhhhh...."
They human skin is a marvelously sensual organ and it covers your entire body. Explore it. Play with it. Nibble it. Tease it. Caress it. Take your time. It's not a race. Just BE with your partner and enjoy your partner as they enjoy you. Allow you partner to please you as you will please them (and that is HARD for some people).
Love, Laughter and Light,
J | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 12:19:49 PM | Otis...I disagree with failing to see the logic of human behavior. You are indeed human and have needs whether you think you and your partner could care less. I do understand your background and why you're comment is such.
Making sex better for your partner has more to tending to each others needs. Sharing another aspect of love itself..unspoken words...touches of soft gentle caresses. These things can have a lot to do with sex and the human sexuality of love. Wanting to learn more and yourself sexually can do nothing but benefit both you and your partner.
That's one of the beautiful mysteries of being human is experiencing each other intellectually and sexually. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 12:47:45 PM | Just....Thank you for correcting my spelling. Chakra :)
I totally agree with you. I too at one time in my life only worried about my partner and leaving my own needs behind. In time that changed with learning more about myself. I agree learning and putting to use what you've learned doesn't happen overnight. It takes time to learn how to put what you've discovered into your everday life.
Thank you for your response.
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 5:07:48 PM | If you have an open and approachable communication with your life partner or sex partner there should be always room for change and new things. Letting things get boring is simply stupid. If I find I can time things down to the second and things have become routine, I'm the one who has the responsibility of shaking things up a bit or a LOT! While I'm into trying new things, I do have my "NO WAY" limitations. Reading up on sexual tricks, new ways, how to stimulate your partner, etc is, for me, a fun and exciting way to add spice to your sexlife. LOL Now all I have to do is fall in love and get back in the saddle.  | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 5:22:48 PM | Georgie..you are so right.
I actually ran across a website while I was still married. Yesterday it was your thread 101 things not to say during sex, that got me thinking about this site. Anyhow, I searched and search unable to locate it. I did find a lot of other information and came across your 101 things not to say in my search.
The name if my memory serves me correctly was sex 101 sexual techniques. Since I was married at the time I did use some of the techniques, but not all. As mentioned above you have to put it into practice and then you're partner has to be a willing participant. All realtionships should have that key word "NO WAY" as is yours. I think everyone should have their own boundries. Spicy adds flavor to anything!! Some like it hot...some don't! To each his own. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 5:30:57 PM | As I sat here pondering the point of this thread I began writing down what I'd do to make sex better for my partner, because in doing so, I make it better for myself. Here is what I came up with:
Become a couple with unwavering commitment to doing whatever it takes to make your overall relationship work. Remember, problems always show up in the bedroom. If you want great sex, never deny your partner the attention necessary to let them know they are loved, appreciated and respected. Relationships are something that must be worked on ALL THE TIME, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed.
Have a passion for life's sexual journey and for the processes required to go from boring to bliss in the bedroom. Be creative with your passion. Direct it toward your partner. Nurture it. Enjoy and revel in it.
Become dedicated to mutual pleasure for both you and your love partner. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you!
Learn to be intentionally spontaneous and open for the opportunity to make love when it presents itself; during a lunch break, in the back seat of your car or by arousing your partner from a deep sleep in the middle of the night.
Perfect the ability to communicate openly and honestly your most secret sexual desires and needs. Be responsible for your own sexual pleasure by asking for what you need or taking care of yourself.
Be willing to be a student of great sex; read about it, study it, practice it.
Be mature enough to exercise the discipline to stay in the moment when being sexually intimate. Never allow the cares of the day to distract you. Focus on giving pleasure to each other.
Be daring. . . experiment. Do things differently, try new positions, new places, love toys and more, in agreement with both partners, of course. Variety is the spice of a healthy sexual relationship. Be creative! To always make love the same old way is, in a word, BORING!!
Pay attention to personal hygiene. The first rule of making love is to present a body that is tastefully clean!
Cultivate the generosity to consider your love partner's pleasure before your own, or the esprit de corps to decide whether you or your partner goes first or whether you reach orgasm together.
Have the keenness of mind to recognize the value of making love vs. only having sex. A "quickie" now and then is okay, however to only and always depend upon quickies for your sexual gratification is a form of "taking your partner for granted" and can only lead to resentment. Make time for the time that is needed to "make love."
Synthesize the gusto to be energetic when making love and aware of the sensitivity it takes to passionately lay motionless together after engaging in sex. Enjoy foreplay, engagement and afterglow.
Be courageous enough to not always take yourselves so seriously; to laugh, to play and be playful and to experience whatever is sexually exciting and enjoyable.
Learn to negotiate win/win agreements and promises about how you will mutually care for your partner's needs in the sexual arena.
Ask for the variety of pleasure you want and deserve. However, to force or coerce your partner to do something they do not want to do breeds discontent and is highly disrespectful. In this scenario, always take "No!" for the answer. Never be afraid to ask for what you want and always demonstrate the respect to honor your lover's right to say no without consequence.
Practice including the keywords that are in bold in your sexual vocabulary with your partner and watch what happens! | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 5:40:18 PM | To Justaguy, I like what you said about foreplay starting in the morning - not always the case for sure, but I would think if both partners felt that way it would make for an amazing connection emotionally & physically. Good sex should begin in the mind - our imaginations are such powerful things!
I completely agree about taking your time to explore. There are definately times when hot and quick can be amazing, but quick will stop being hot after a while! I like the ideas of external sources to help get the imaginations going once the relationship is well into the well-established stage. I think early on there is so much room for exploring and discovering & I would rather focus on discovering for myself about someone new, and them about me, and guiding each other. I definately see the value in looking externally though for inspiration and new ideas.
Lovely writing J! | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 7:34:14 PM | Ty bluerunningbunny, ty vm!
...and GeorgieLeopard.......you have go it soooooo together. Can we please change your name to Dr. Ruth? ..... and that was a COMPLIMENT!
Love, Laughter and Light,
J | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 12/12/2004 7:55:35 PM | I have got to agree with justaguy13.
He has given an exellent description of what sex is really all about.
As far as going to sex 101.
I intend to continue my education in sex for the rest of my life.
Best subject I've ever taken.
I'll go to sex 909 and beyond.
Where do I sign up for the Phd program. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 6/3/2006 11:52:55 PM | | Msg 1, i agree, i can never learn enough about this subject .. today, i learned that 43% of women experience sexual dysfunction .. that is, they don't achieve orgasm in their relationships .. or something like that .. or was that 44% .. you get the picture .. guys, what's up with that? .. if you're going to be a jerk, at least be good in bed .. | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 6/4/2006 12:03:17 AM | I'd be willing to learn from any source necessary with my partner. However, i'm one that constantly strives to keep the fire going hot and doing so successfully for the most part, with the fundamental key of communication being done properly.
SL | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 6/4/2006 12:11:20 AM | The female body is my favourite toy. I'm enthralled by it and all its reactions. An aroused woman is a work of art that I've created. It takes time and attention though.
If you start with this attitude, everything else falls into place. Study all you want, but practice makes perfect.  Every woman is different. They all need and enjoy different things. The best study you can do is hands-on exploring, sweet talk, and patient observation. The benefit of this is you'll often discover sweet spots she didn't even know she had.
Her mood is important too. Often she won't want to talk, to dilly-dally, to drag it out. She'll want you to just know exactly where to hit and to hit it hard and fast. Confidence is sexy that way.
Happy is the man who comes home and finds his woman in bed, exploring herself, and invites him to join cause she wants to show him something cool she discovered. "Yes, ma'am!"
-Kevin  | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 6/4/2006 5:58:04 PM | Wow!!! kevin, I will take you anytime of the day lol, you seems to know how to seduce a woman and how to make them aroused well and good response. My kinda guy lol.   | |
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| Making your sex life better for your partner....
Posted: 6/4/2006 6:02:53 PM | I think that is is very important to try new things and keep an open mind regarding sex. In all honesty, sex is an important aspect of a relationship so it is important to have a great and healthy sex life.
~Carrie B. | |
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