| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:46:34 AM | What should I make of this. My BF is 35 minutes away he's a work-a-holic doesn't seem to want to find the time or make the effort. I'm not sure what to do because he tells me he wants it to be an exclusive relationship but come on, once a week. Its turning into nothing but a "sexual encounter". When he does decide to show his face he's tired, but, not too tired to not jump my bones.
So do I throw this one back in the pond and cast another? HELP!!!!! anyone with advice or opinions? | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:54:49 AM | | Are you sure he's not a serial booty caller? | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:56:36 AM | He could very well be. However, he calls me at work everyday at least 4 times, calls me after work, before bed, I just don't get it. I'm getting so frustrated but he says the nicest things to me when we are together. Don't get me wrong I"m not a stupid women I know when I"m being played but I don't think he intends it to be like that.
I've confronted him on it he says he wants to make it work, he really likes me?
COnfused, Confused, Confused | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:21:16 AM | | Well, it does sound like he cares. Have you discussed what his long range plans are? Is this a temporary work frenzy while he gets himself in a better financial position? Is his job crazy important? It might help to try and find out what his motivation is for working so much. If they are reasons that make sense to you and that you can respect, maybe you could develope other interests to fill your time so that the lack of time with him doesn't make you feel bad. Men are funny, it seems like they want to spend more time with us if we have other things going on. Please keep in mind that I am not suggesting that you do anything to try and make him jealous or play games. I just advise you to find outside interests that enrich you as a person. You might volunteer to help out a cause, join a club, or take a class in something you have always wanted to know how to do. Who knows, you might meet someone who is a better fit. Either the situation will resolve itself or you will move on. You win either way. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:30:06 AM | It's probably not as confusing as it seems at first...
Answer the following questions for yourself.
Could he make more time to be with you - or is it really not possible?
Does he want to make more time to be with you?
Do you do ANYTHING when you get together besides sex?
You say he's calling you 4 times a day, before bed, etc... Are you sure he's not just checking up on YOU?
I could be COMPLETELY wrong, but I have a feeling if you were a little less available, he might be a little more available...
off the top, it doesn't sound like a very satisfying 'exclusive' relationship to me... but best of luck to you working through things! | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:35:17 AM | | that all depends,...if you want to carry on like this until the end of time, I'd say keep him. But if you want a b/f that wants you for more than sex, find someone else. It's pretty obvious why he's dating you now hun. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:46:58 AM | | If this guy was into you, he would be over alot more wanting to spend his time with you. Throw this one back in the pond and move on. Why wait for someone who won't make the effort. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:53:13 AM | sad as it seems , i agree with Smitten . If a guy I was seeing could only find time to see me, and jump my bones once a week , then it isnt love.......... its about the sex.
sorry! | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:13:06 AM | | If he's working hard and under a lot of stress then that could be his way of venting or releasing. If he wants a relationship then he must realize its not just about him, its about you too. Being put on hold six out of seven days seems odd to me. Granted we have to show each other support in a relationship but there are limits. Dont comprimize your self esteem by sitting beside the phone or anticipating the once a week visit. Hope that he realizes that you have needs and that he has to adjust, sounds like you really like this guy. Best of luck. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 3:27:13 PM | | maybe u should go see him. if the mountain won't come to mohamad then maybe mohamad should go to the mountain. if he calls you that much he must be interested. why don't u take some initiative. i like it when a lady shows in willingness to start things. that is how my last ex got me. she took the initiative and i loved it but she had some bad habits like smoking too much so we ended up breaking up. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 3:37:07 PM | | sounds like a booty call, to me. it's easy to pick up the phone and say all the right things for a few minutes, but a lot harder to fake when it's one on one. follow your gut, if you feel like he's using you for a booty call, then he probally is. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 12 | |
| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 3:42:59 PM | | Hell many married people would be happy to get it once a week....sounds like a perfect arrangement to me. No noose around your neck, he's not always there to bug you. Send him my way!!!!!! lol | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 5:01:36 PM | | I don't know his financial situation, but let me use myself as an example. I work 6-7 days per week. I literally don't have time to date. I can't afford not to have that second job though. It's possible that once per week is all that he has. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:25:30 PM | | tell him you want and need more time with him, that you like him you care but you need a man that can spend more time and if he cant do that then its prolly better that you go seperate ways. dont be mean dont make it a threat. just make it known taht your serious. and dont be to critical. if he makes any effort at all give him a chance. if hes a workaholic it might be hard working in extra time for you but as long as hes trying you know you might have a keeper. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:35:30 PM | | Slysyl...don't you think you deserve better than this? You know what you need to do girl. Find the courage and do it. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:57:55 PM |  Joy
It would be nice to be taken out for a meal once in a while, though, for criminy sakes. Cheap bastids. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:07:42 PM | slysyl said:
My BF is 35 minutes away he's a work-a-holic doesn't seem to want to find the time or make the effort. I'm not sure what to do because he tells me he wants it to be an exclusive relationship but come on, once a week. Its turning into nothing but a "sexual encounter". When he does decide to show his face he's tired, but, not too tired to not jump my bones.
Obviously it's one of two things--either he really is working so much he doesn't have time to see you more than one day a week, or he is just showing up to have sex with you once a week and keep you on a string the days he doesn't come over. That he keeps in touch a lot is a good sign, since if he wasn't that into you he might not bother since he can just come over when he wants to. Only you really know or can tell what the facts are and what they indicate. In your case, if he's not making you feel loved, then it sounds like he isn't giving you what you need, whether he's a workaholic or not. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:32:25 PM | Sounds like you are looking for a reason...
Asking others to decide the outcome won't make your decision any easier... but it is a decision you must make.
"Don't demand out of others what you will not do, and give when you want to receive".
Making your life what it should be is your responsibility, you are your own tour guide... it is as fun as you want it to be...
Personally I plan for fun and adventure... it keeps me happy... I find the time to work hard in between. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:00:20 PM | If the milk is expired... throw it out.
Same with sour relationships. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:44:57 PM | | 35 minutes away isn't that far away to come over more than once a week. Maybe you could go to his house once a week, too, so he isn't the only one that has to drive to the other one's house, if he is that busy and tired. If you are not happy with the present arrangement, then you need to change it. It will just continue the way it is if you don't say something. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:24:30 AM | I am taking initiative. Infact I've asked himtime and time again for me to be introduced to his friends he keep stalling.
I've gone tothe club that he bounces at several times, to only see him kisses the bartender which I think she knows I"m watching soshe does itr on purpose. Thenshe'l stick a mini water down her tp and tell him to go and get it, the sad part is Im not jealous which reallyisn't a good sign now is it. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:47:38 AM | Ooooh, lady! That really changes things. This guy is playing you. Get out of this now!!! He *IS* keeping you on the string. If he is pulling stuff like that, he has NO respect for you and will keep you on the backburner for the easy bootycall. Also If I remember correctly, he wanted things to be exclusive. Now he's got it both ways. You are expected to wait with bells on in case he feels like coming around. In the meantime he's "working" at the club and kissing other girls. I've known alot of bouncers in my day and very few of them considered their job to be much work. Sure they had to watch and deal with trouble makers but at least 85% of the time they just hang out with girls and flirt. Also, girls like bouncers, even ugly bouncers and give out numbers and invites to "party." Chances are he's a "workaholic" because it is fun and he only hooks up with you to keep you on the string so that you will continue to be available for his use. If he does have feelings for you, he won't notice until you cut him loose because right now, he seriously is taking yoou for granted.
Sorry if this sounds harsh or negative. I certainly don't want to make you feel bad but this guy doesn't respect you and you are really going to end up hurt if you don't take care of yourself.
Good Luck!!! | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/31/2005 5:38:45 PM | well he's in for a shocker because tomorrow its "Surprise" I decided to come to you for a change.
I went to his club on Saturday and can you beleive the bartender planted one right on hislips and.... he didn't budge, now I don't know if he was in shock or what. So I said to him oh I see kisses is allowed is it, thats great to know now I can kiss anyone I'd like so long as its in front of you....he didn't like that toomuch. He said she wouldn't have done that if I wasn't there that she rarely talks to him unless I'm there. I said well yioucan let her know that if she's trying to make me jealous ain't happening I'm notthe jealous type in fact it didn't bother me at all, he said well if it didn't bother you thats not a good sign for our relationship I said no tis not that I'm just not the jealous type. I said you might want to mention that so she stops making an ass our of herself, in fact I said I'll tell her myself next time I see her.
Games, Games, Games. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/31/2005 5:47:57 PM | If he were the guy for you, you wouldn't have even had to have that conversation with him (although, I must say you handled yourself admirably! I don't know that I would have had such grace  ) But he shouldn't be letting that girl use him to try and make you feel bad! That is just bad news. You should never date people who are willing to let you potentially be hurt. He's probably 10x the big head having two girls fight over him. Cut him loose, he's small time and you can do better. | |
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| Once A Week
Posted: 10/31/2005 5:49:00 PM | pssssst
you 2 are gonna breakup
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