| Ladies 37 and up [And Anyone Else]
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:47:48 AM | Hi All.
I wanted to hear from ladies 37 and up who have come to the conclusion that
"there has to be more than this with these guys". You are probably divorced, had a few long term and short term relationships, still reasonably attractive, independent... and here. lol
I am wondering if this is really worth it. I know there is a good match for me, possibly several... and I don't feel I want to move to persue a relationship.
After so many years and seeing how the majority of men are... what do we do next?
I have considered contining to meet men but they seem to be under the impression this is a game about sex.
I have considered not meeting any more men too...
Makes me all think it is really going to be impossible to find a guy to meet, who is going to want to build a trusting and caring friendship... despite how lonley they cry they are.....
it still seems to be a game to them.
Even the older guys.
So, do we humor ourselves till we die with these crazy men...?
I am rather tired of it. I have tried but it all seems to be a game to them.
I've been lied to and tricked and to be honest, I don't trust them anymore. The good ones know better and they don't come to the internet and play games for the most part, at least not long... and that leaves us with the guys with issues of some serious emotional immaturity, drug/ alcohol/ mental issues... coming here to play and mess with womens hearts, minds and lives.
Tell me ladies...
what does a woman do... who gets tired of all this.... do exactly?
I would really like to hear...... where is the fun?
whats next?
Surely not this !!!!!
[Exclusions to any demographic are not permitted - post is open to all - Subject Ammended/TrappedonBaySt]
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:55:33 AM | don't really trust any of them anymore, either; but I am not giving up - no way no how; even if I don't find that one guy that does it all for me, I'm going to have fun trying, cause there are plenty out there for my amusement
Laura | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:13:16 PM | ok, one for amusment
I personally dont think one guy is gonna ever be able to do it all for any woman...
but I will say....
ok, one for amusement.
anyone else?
PS, thanks for your honesty. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:18:35 PM | Well I think instead of being bitter....I am not at all like that and I refuse to believe that all men are jerks and liars and players..
I just think two people meet and it either works or it doesn't. I don't focus on what they did to me but what can I change...what did I do to help or hurt the situation...
Don't look at it like men are deceitful...be your own woman...set your standards...and follow your own rules and maybe one day if the moon is in the right position you will meet someone who loves you just the way you are...
In the meantime what is wrong with enjoying the moment...learning from bad and good experiences...enjoy whatever time you have with someone and take it as an experience to treasure.
I have no regrets and no sorrow over what I have experienced and I think that is the great blessing of being an "older" woman...you have loved before and let go and can do it again...
You know that old saying life is a journey not a destination...my destination is not defined by whether I am with a man or not...but I am having alot of fun on the journey and it is full of great times, good laughs, and some sorrow sure... But life is like that isn't it for everyone single or married.
I posted awhile ago about what have you learned I have learned something from each person I have had in my life sometimes about myself sometimes about other peoples nature...
It has been a great adventure and continues to be one...
Don't get down about it enjoy the ride...
Misty :) | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:24:21 PM | | I fully agree with you rainbow. A lot of the guys use the internet to get sex. Most of them are married and do not know how to spice up their sex life with their spouses. I say do like the guys do ( date like a man.) When you meet the right one you will know. He will treat you like a lady. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:26:06 PM | | Misty, I love your attitude........wish you were a MAN!!!!! lol!!!!! | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:39:43 PM | @misty.
There is bitter and there is being realistic. If I were bitter.. I would smile and tell
them whatever they wanted to hear......
while I had my own plans and agenda, that I kept hidden from them...
right?
I guess thats what they are doing.. huh?
don't fall for it sisiter... thats all I have to say 
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:42:15 PM | | I'm in trouble here, but I have to be honest with you all. Without sex there is no point in a relationship. It's not all there is, but it is a big part of it. So what? That makes someone bad? I don't think so. Lighten up! | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:58:20 PM | I am realistic and I know that some men will tell you whatever they can to get you into bed...or the couch or backseat or whatever but you see I am my own woman...
If I want to have sex with someone I don't do it so they will love me and I don't do it to please them and I don't do it hoping for anything more than what it is right at that moment..
That doesn't make me easy it means that I make my decision not based on what could or couldn't happen..
I don't play a victim like these mean lying men are taking advantage of poor pitiful me...it isn't the case...it just didn't work out he wasn't the right one...for whatever reason...
Sure of course at times in my life I wish something more came of it but to me sex is not a bargaining chip to say okay I'll give you this and you give me love...that was long gone in high school wasn't it ??? that is why we are older women and better women...
Such as how could you do this to me we had sex!?!?!? That is ridiculous as feelings change and everyone is allowed their right to change their mind...
About men looking for sex everyone is looking for sex on here it depends on in what form and what elses it entails... Otherwise I would move a girlfriend in and live happily ever after and she might even clean and do the laundry for me....We could watch sex and the city drink martinis and laugh ourselves to death...
But alas I like a male companion and part of that is sex and so the journey continues...lol
You can't fall for anything if you don't get your expectations higher than whatever is going on at that moment...
Misty | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:03:28 PM | everyone on here is looking for sex?
it just will depend on the form? sounds like everyones going to get screwed
one way or another.. doesnt it?
yikes sounds like something that needs penicillin
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:04:37 PM | | Well said, Misty! I like your attitude. It sounds like you're well adjusted. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:09:53 PM | well I disagree everyone here is just here for sex.....
because if it were true, there would not be so many people complaining.....
I feel some people are not here for what they say they are...
and they are not often who and what they say they are....
SEX without caring for someone is just masterbation with a partner.
I will not address this anymore.
So, not everyone is here for masterbation with a partner and will leave it at that.
But some people are of the idea that this is all a sex game. Good luck to them | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:17:55 PM | I think the point she is trying to make here is that while yes there is no point in a relationship without sex, it would be nice to have a relationship before talking about sex. I can't remember how many times a guy has jumped to the Sex subject before he knew my name. I have to say though, so far I haven't had that problem on this site, it seems that here ppl are looking for more than just sex, either that or I don't turn them on...which doesn't bother me to be honest. I am a single mom 24/7, I don't get weekends off. This is my only source of adult conversation other than work and while yes I would like to have sex, I would really like someone to be interested in me as a person first not just whats between my legs.
The last 2 relationships I have been in one 8 yrs and 3 children, was an abusive loser and the other one 3 yrs was just a loser period. What happened to guys having a job and paying their own way instead of swoozing a woman to do it for them? I understand Rain_bow where you are coming from and I often feel the same way, but you can't lose your faith and trust...you have to keep trying and hope that one day Mr. Right will come into your life. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:20:46 PM | Rainbow Fish....
I am unsure what you are looking for a long term platonic friend?
You are going to have a hard time not including sex in your relationship....
Why do you feel like you are losing something if you have sex with someone?
You could have sex with someone for the first time six months into a relationship and it still not work out you've been married right...???
I don't need penicillin thanks for asking though lol....Being open to a physical relationship doesn't mean you have one with everyone you meet you have to be picky yes and have your eyes wide open...
I am saying that men are not on earth to take advantage of women it is true in some cases but as older women we should have an easier time of picking them out and if we are wrong then pick up and go on...it isn't the end of the world....
You are definitely entitled to your opinion just like I am I am hoping to someday find someone where we can have a terrific friendship, love and sex...and I am not bitter because it hasn't happened for me yet...I think it will one day :)
Misty.. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:21:03 PM | ^^^^^^^^ uni gets it
lol
I wonder tho if there is a mr right.
Maybe we have gone through this to say something else...
as we have grown from the childness of these things
and ideas.....
@misty, Im looking for someone real... who is grown up. Sex is not the question
or the answer.
misty you are under the impression this is abiut sex so I am sorry but I dont think you understand.
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:22:00 PM | | Mutual compassion and loving sex is not mutual masterbation. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to meet someone to fall in love and share sex and other things with! It is healthy and wonderful. If someone does not want that maybe they shouldn't be looking for a significant other... | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:23:25 PM | @ MMMBaby
“Without sex there is no point in a relationship?” Is THAT what you said?
I think when men, REAL men, can get past perceiving women a objects: breeding stock, or arm ornaments, or bimbos, etc – the better the human race will be. I don’t mean to jump on a soapbox or anything like that, but the generalized perception of women as “lesser creatures” (by both men and women) has held back humankind from pushing forward technologically and socially and in many other ways. Men have an amazing resource at hand if we (men) can get past deeply-rooted perceptions of women as chattel. Relationships are merely a logical extension of human interaction.
Okay -- off the soapbox
No, I do not think you are bad. I merely think you (among others) have a very narrow perception of your world. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:26:27 PM | I just wanted to clarify that I am NOT about having sex with people lol...if you read my profile you will see that I am looking for a partner and I am actually very specific...
But my point is that just because it doesn't work out doesn't mean that the man is a liar, or a predator...
If the relationship ends before or after a sexual experience doesn't make men bad.....
I am not here for sex if I was I would go to the bar tonight and just hook up lol...
I think I will give up too as I don't think you are getting what I am saying :)
Happy Fishing everyone :)
Misty... | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:26:35 PM | mmm but you dont meet someone with the PLAN to fall in love
or have sex.. do you? That would not be genuine... thats a game to get sex.
isn't it?
Certainly you have more to offer someone than sex.
How can you build a relationship, trust with someone who has no compassion... as anyone who lies about who and what they are, posts old pics...... tells stories, is maybe married, gay, has a STF.. and hides those things.. well, is that a compassionate person? or someone who is just loking for cheap thrills?
I do not feel you can PLAN to fall in love.. maybe your planning to fall in lust.....
but to me love is an action... and sex is only an expression of love, when intellectual, emotional, mental, spiritual chemistry is there.
Not the illusion of it.I am sorry but you do not understand either.
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:28:25 PM | | thank you thud, and I agree with you totally. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:28:26 PM | | No women are NOT chattel or ornaments. I just told the truth as it is for me. Without a healthy sex life, I do not want an intimate relationship. I did not say I won't have friendships, but my love life involves sex, and preferrably LOTS of it. So kill me! | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:30:19 PM | ^^^ looking for a sex toy, not a person.
too bad, you will miss out on a lot. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:32:42 PM | call it what you will... but I feel i totally see you :)
not saying your bad.. you are just not where I am. | |
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| Ladies 37 and up
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:35:54 PM | | Correct I am not where anyone else is. I stand in my life, and in my life, I believe sex and love go together in a healthy relationship. There is nothing wrong with this, and I am not out to deceive, use, abuse, or disrespect anyone. I do not understand how having a desire for sex with love can be taken as so. | |
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