| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 6:54:04 PM | Not sure what I am doing wrong, I talk to someone, chat online for a bit, email each, talk on the phone....then we meet for first date and nothing.....losing my confidence here
help!!! | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:11:02 PM | it's really difficult to answer your question without know you, and what happens on your dates. maybe more information would be helpful to your thread?
Do your dates seem to be going well, then you don't hear from them?
How many dates are you talking about.... a few? or more than 5?
How long or how well did you think you got to know them before meeting?
Just a few thoughts that might be able to help for the response. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:15:31 PM | dont run out and meet them too fast for one.
Get to know them first, the ones who try to run out and meet real
quick are looking for a piece...
so maybe you are giving the impression you are easy by meeting them real quick and then
'they see you aren't. Take time to see if he is looking for what you are.
Then meet. Takes more time and effort yes.... but easier than dealing with the freaks who have lied and made themselves into something they aren't... who are just fishing for casual sex. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:35:17 PM | | IMO, the reason why this happens is usually because the (man's) impression of you did not match up to what he initially thought you would be like.....whether its your looks or personality, i could not say!!......you may wanna better define your relationship goals and philosophy and you may wanna consider putting up a fullview picture of yourself so you don't end up wasting time with pple who may not consider you to be their type! | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:56:58 PM | | I never get second dates. All of the encounters I've had with people from this site have been disasterous. I tryed putting funny stuff in my profile,nice pictures of me,lots of interests,and it didn't seem to do anything. So I re-wrote my profile. I think it's great now. Good luck to the rest of you. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:57:39 PM | in my experience and other women's experience on here and dating sites in general....
quality women far out-number the amount of quality men.
sooooo I wouldn't waste your time on jackasses... just think -- they only want one thing... and if that is not what you are willing to offer them; thank your lucky stars they are out of your life! | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:01:23 PM | I agree with Sum it was a clash of expectations...
Games only help to weed out the nice guys, so there aren't any left.
Online dating makes it more difficult to ascertain compatibility, although it is a good tool to meet people who you would not normally get a chance to meet. Especially if you have a busy schedule.
Confidence is a vital part of igniting the right responses, as it reflects in your posture, body language, tone of voice and motion. This is critical to give off your true qualities and attract the right men, and keep them there.
Have fun and others will join you, and you won't worry so much about the ones who missed out. It really was their loss. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:18:18 AM | I completely disagree with "There is more quality women than men" Want to know why?
THERE ARE MORE MEN ONLINE LOOKING FOR DATES THAN WOMEN
Often by a ratio of 4:1
Therefore lets say you have a dating site with 100,000 people
25,000 will be women
75,000 will be men
If HALF of these people in each gender are "good" you will find
12,500 women
37,500 men
Hell, even if only 25% of men were good and 50% of women were, it still would be off
12,500 women
18,750 men
Trust me, there is just as many self-absorbed narcissist smoking drinking drug addicted bed hopping cheating lying psycho women out there as there are men. They just aren't all on the internet.
Anyway - In regards to your situation, a big factor for me calling a girl back is how much interest she has shown in me. If I date a girl and she is just like 'Eh, whatever' I won't call her back. Because dating is expensive and time consuming. However if she makes it *very* clear that she is interested, and so am I, I will call her back. The main point, show interest when you have it. And make sure it is very clear. Just imagine that the guy you are dating is completely immune to any "signals" you may have. Trust me, 9 out of 10 times he won't get it. Just tell him. "I think you're a great guy and I'd love to hang out again sometime" That's all it takes. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/30/2005 9:47:18 PM | Cristine, I am a little confused about your definition of "quality men", and quality people.
On one hand, I have been approached by a number of ladies on the internet, and have reciprocated with a relationship. In the cases where a romatic relationship resulted, those ladies also persuaded me into bed on the first night. Those same relationships didn't last more than 6 months- I ended them. By giving those women a "green light" (or was it a red light?  ) was I acting in a "quality fashion?
Now let's turn things around: a woman agrees to a first date with all of these non-quality males who you refer to. Is it a "quality" decision to go on large numbers of first dates- or would it have saved time and disappointment to learn more about those guys? One can go into a discoteque and achieve the same results.
G.U. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:59:53 PM | Expectations it all seems to me to be the biggest factor.
Look at how you behave during that first date. Are you nervous? Are you overly interested in them? If you meet with the expectations of making a new friend, instead of meeting a potential boyfriend, it takes all the pressure out of the meeting. If you do make a friend and not a romantic connection, then you can expand your social circle and meet more people through your new friend.
Realize too, that this online thing is totally a numbers game. The next time you are out in a mall or busy street, take a look at the general population of single men in your age range.... There are so many of them you would not even consider dating. There are some you would. How many would you have connection with? Online dating is the same. I figure the stats for me are something like this:
10% have a good personality 'click'.. friendship possibilities
of that 10% maybe half actually are interested in being friends.
Of that 5% mutual attraction may happen with one or two people.
So.. be prepared to drink lots of coffee on those hundred dates!
ps.. i'm italian too and have compared my life to my big fat greek wedding.. except instead of windex, my dad is into spray and wash!  | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:09:13 AM | It has taken me over a year using internet dating sites and guess what I get my second coffee night so be patient it will happen. For me I just had to wait and wait and wait but I have found it just takes the right one and who know I maybe able to go for a third coffee heres to you all  | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/31/2005 1:16:00 AM | Your profile lacks any insight to who you are. You need to word it in a way
that captures your essence. Hanging out with friends and going out??...you
just listed 97% of everyone on POF. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/31/2005 10:05:50 AM | | hi there italian lady i was like you no second date they would either blow me out or it would be i didnt like them and so on really got to the point where i couldnt be bothered then got chatting to this guy on this site and we have now met up twicw and he lovely he turned up both time with roses and he took me for nice meals so where as i thought the net was pants at meeting guys with more than one thngs on there mind ive been proved wrong so keep trying girly x | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/31/2005 3:36:40 PM | | Join the club. It's the same for the majority of us. When I do actually get a second date, I wonder why..lol I'm thinking there must be something he's after, whether it be sex or something else. I'm getting fed up with online dating and actually liking somebody and having them tell you they don't feel the same. Sure, there were ones where I didn't like them either so no problems there. I know it can happen with any dating situation but I've been using the online method for awhile now so that's what I'm talking about. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 10/31/2005 6:15:08 PM | | It just takes time with a positive attitude. We all have our ups and downs. Me and my brother are on the same site haveing fun laughing at some of the people. You really shouldn't get your expectations up too hi. Just have fun and you never know. | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 12/1/2005 10:45:04 PM | I'll give you a few things that disqualify a girl for second date, at least with me.
- Deceptive apearance, I'm honest about how tall I am and my weight, I went on a date with a girl who clearly was not 120, not that I care about the weight, it was the deception, (and it's not by a few pounds, it was by a good 30 or 40 I'd say)
- Complete Idiot, I had a girl that when I was taking her home, she was wimpering every time lighting was striking, as a nice caring wonderfull guy I am, I asked what was wrong, she said she was scared that lightning was going to hit the car. So I explained how it wouldn't happen because of tires/rubber etc.. her response "Oh is that why lightning won't hit me when I'm laying in bed?", that wasn't the only instance of her idiocy, it was just the easiest to write down.
- Full of shit, I went on a date with a girl who, claimed to be a Systems Adminitrator, being a programmer myself I figured "hey we might have some things in common being in a similliar field", Well needless to say she was full of shit about all of it, she wouldn't shut up about how she's such an awesome hacker etc.. etc.. and when she mentioned being so awesome because she can copy dvd's, I mentioned I used to work on a product that allowed such as that (which I did), she blows me off and says I shouldn't make up stories.
- Boring, this one is pretty straight forward, if most of the night is spent in silence because we can't hold a conversation, a second date is just not going to happen.
-Xir | |
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| Lots of first dates.....not many second ones...
Posted: 12/5/2005 9:38:47 PM | It all depends on how the vibe was during the date and a little after. Both men and women can be very deceiving during dates. I think there are a few GUIDELINES ( not solid rules ) to follow, such as :
On a FIRST DATE:
- Keep yourself mysterious. Do not divulge everything on the first date. Don't tell them about your great fear of turning into your mother, how your sister's husband's sister is a complete ****, what you think constitutes a good marmalade etc etc etc.
- Talk about what's important but always leave them hanging on their toes
- Don't get too quick in sleeping with them
- If all is good, make out session is good, so shave your legs. lol.
- Just be yourself : be natural, be yourself, be natural, be yourself
Easy going personalities, confidence, interesting, mysterious and passionate : These are the things that men usually look for. Next thing you know, 2nd dates. and the 3rd...and the 4th. | |
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