| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:22:37 PM | | Okay, so I have been dating this really great guy. Very nice, thoughtful, handsome. Everything about the relationship is great except that when we finally got intimate (he delayed for weeks! Not that I'm a sleep around but a month of dating is plenty for me to ..ahem.. warm up) he is not great in bed. Okay, not great at all. He won't go down on me and doesn't even look around down there. He'll finger me like a drill auger but there is no sensitivity. Argh! Why can't this totally fine man be a great lover too???!! What would you do? Yes, I have asked him too, and he said "well, I don't like it, but I will if you want me too" and I just said "forget it, I want you to really LIKE it". Besides if he licked me, he would probably suck at that too. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:26:50 PM | | That would have been discussed well before we ever got into the sack. It wouldn't apply for me. I like to know exactly what I'm going to be dealing with. No surprises. But no, I wouldn't want a sex life with a man who won't give me oral pleasure. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 8:29:20 PM | sorry if you only want advice from females... but as a human I'm telling you to ditch this guy. He will only lead you in to a relationship where he does what he wants and you bring him his plate of nachos while he watches the big hockey game or something...
any guy who doesn't like licking is prime for a kicking (out) | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:34:45 PM |
I don't like it
What.....an.....Idiot
lol
Stradle him, and yell at him, SAY MY NAME, SAY MY NAME B***H!!!!!!
order him to, and if he sucks at it...lol no pun intended, if he is not the best at it, Whip him and YELL at him how you like it......lol
that'll shape him up in no time | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 10:42:33 PM | thanks guys,
So I guess by your responses, that means "leave him". Ohhhhh...... crap. It's been going on 5 months now and he is such a sweetie. He even says he's "falling for me". And I don't want to leave him or break his heart, but gosh, sex is such a wonderful and essential part of a relationship!
I was with the same guy for 16 years. And then I had another boyfriend for 6 months after my divorce. So 3 guys in 17 years and my ex-husband was a lying drunk. I deserve better!
I guess I'm afraid if I go into intimate encounters that I'll get a disease or some real weirdos. What I'm looking for is a sweet kind man who is a sexy, great lover in bed and open to play, play, play. Oh, and someone who has a libido for goodness sense! I take good care of myself and wanting sex everyday is like wanting fresh air and exercise. Normal! Where are you sweet kind men with sex on the brain? | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 11 | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/29/2005 11:47:58 PM | Before you kick his ass to the curb, you need to sit down and have a good heart to heart with him.
Tell him, that you really enjoy his company, you are having a great time with him, and be honest with him how you feel.
Now comes the tricky part. If you are like me, you will just lay it out. I dont believe in beating around the bush. Sex is a big part of a relationship. Ask him about his sexual experience, and things he enjoys. Then get on to discussing what you enjoy sexually.
Maybe he really has no experience in this area. Dont sweat the small stuff, he may be trainable. If he has no previous experience, PERFECT!!!! Then you can train him exactly the way you like it. He wont have any other past experiences to go by. Therefore, he will be trained solely to what pleases you the best.
If that doesnt work, get him a good book as a subtle hint. If you are too shy to talk to him about it, then do this. Get the book and leave it on your bathroom counter. He will have to at least once use the bathroom whilst he is at your home, and he will be tempted to glance thru it. Put tabs in the pertinent pages that you think will help him out. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:21:47 AM | | No I wouldn't leave a guy just cause he wouldn't do something I didn't like..I'd be respectful..it would be like him saying..buh bye cause I won't let him do anal. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:24:57 AM | | If i was ever with a guy that wouldn't go down on me.........i wouldn't dump him but i would tell him that im getting myself a gurl to do the job that you can't or wont do........but if he sucked in bed all the way around, then yes i would dump him without thinking twice about it.......... | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:29:11 AM | Funny replies from the women here...
The common thing I hear from women is that they want "relationships" not sex, but this thread seems to say otherwise. Go figure. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 1:59:22 AM | This is a very interesting thread, with lots of anomalies compared with what I often hear from women. Firstly, it suddenly seems that sex has become more important to women here than the character and personality of the man, you're all beginning to sound like men! lol
Secondly, I would agree that you should be slightly careful about this guy.. if I was really "falling for" my partner, I would be happy to do something sexual that I did not massively enjoy, because I would get my enjoyment from seeing her enjoyment. Be careful his potential selfishness doesn't appear in day to day life too.
Talk to him properly, it doesn't really seem like you've done that yet, really explain to him how important good sex is to you, and maybe he will come round to your way of thinking.
And you need to make up your mind too. What is more important to you? Remember, in 6 months time you could be postnig on here saying you've met this guy, he's a great lover and makes you cum 8 times a night, but he's an ***hole. What is REALLY more important to you? | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 2:42:08 AM | Zin....I almost fell out of my chair when I read your age on your profile.......Cause at your age, nme saying this shouldn't be necessary.
Not to be rude or insensitive, but why would you want to pressure him into doing something you know he is uncomfortable with???? You claim he just all around sucks in bed......well, you are a grown women who knows what she likes( I assume), so show him what you want! He isn't a mind reader, and it will never get any better unless you tell him! Now, of course maybe you don't care enough about him to show some patience...I don't know....but from reading this complaint I think I can safely assume that maybe you don't. Give it some real thought. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 2:43:03 AM | My ex was like that in the begining, except when we talked about being intimate before got intimate he told me not to force him to go down on me.
I told him I would never force him to do that, just dont force me to do anything.
But eventually after he was comfortable with us being together and knowing that we were in a secure relationship he came around and it was high up on his list of pleasing me.
Either give it time and he will come around, but if your like the majority of women who can only get off on clitoral stimulation (and fingers and hands only do so much boys!) you might need to reconsider your relationship.
Either way you look at it your missing out on something...
A guy who wont give you oral or a sweet guy(should you choose to leave him)... its your choice | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 5:46:41 AM | AnonymousMe.........I am in a relationship and have a very good one to say the least....sex is important but its not everything.
But just like you men us women can be the same way, guess your getting a dose of your own medicine, funny eh!  | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:21:52 AM | Gbg1964 has given you the best advice here!! Go and talk to the guy, if he's falling for your, and he's as sweet as you say he is, he'll listen to you. So your thinking about leaving the guy, so think about it this way, you have NOTHING yo lose by talk to him about it, if things still aren't working out, then you can still leave him!
But I do agree that you need to be able to click with eachother on the physical side of a relationship aswell as the emotional side to be truly happy, and the physical side obviously isn't just about sex. My ex girlfriend didn't believe in sex before marriage, i was fine with that, but we had the best physical side to a relationship ive ever had. But good luck with it:)
Jim | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:57:16 AM |
Hey....Hold on here...wait a moment...! Maybe this fella hasn't been introduced to the pleasures of oral sex Maybe the poor man just needs some helpl.
Hey I agree with the above statement, it takes practice. Perhaps he had a religious mother or family where sex was taboo or something. The 1st time I went downtown it wasn't what I was expecting but gradually I started to like it & I saw how it made my girl wild so I perfected the act as I got older. If this guy doesn't get any help he'll be a non-vaginal pirate. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:42:28 AM | I wouldn't leave him but I'd try to convince him to go down on me the best way I could. I'm sure eventually he'd do it and probably would say how much he liked it. Then I'd say, I told you so. | |
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| Would you leave him if he didn't go down on you?
Posted: 10/30/2005 8:49:43 AM | To answer the initial question, heck no. That's what my silver bullet is for.
Ya know, a great lover can be "made". Are you a good teacher? Just something to think about.... | |
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