| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:02:40 AM | Ok heres the situation, what do you think?
I met this guy online about 6 months ago. After exchanging e-mail, IM's and phone calls for about 3 months due to my being a single parent and his "work" schedule. We finally get a chance to meet, His suggestion. We have a great lunch, he even brought flowers.
Final this month after having many meals together, movies and other 12 hour days together, we agreed to that next step. So we meet at the apartment he is staying at, as we part HE suggests meeting again the following day for lunch. I called to confirm details, everything at 10am was a go then at 2pm when I show up he is a no show I called and got VM. I waited 30 minutes tryed again same thing. I figured work problems no big deal. Got home and called once more, however this time I find out that both numbers are disconnected. The next morning I go to his apartment to find that its Corperate housing and he is not there,
I start to worry, stupid me. While searching him out I find that I have been lied to the entire time. I find online that not only was I given the wrong last name but also everything I was told over the past 6 months is a lie. He is married lives within 10 minutes of my house, has 3 kids.
Never once was there any signs as to what was going on, this whole thing makes me think that I should be checking guys out a bit more from now on.
So what do you think would you freaked out if someone "googled" you before you ever met? Or am I behind the times and are people already doing this??? | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:14:04 AM | | you cant always count on a search engine either . i googled myself and was amazed that google has 1,700 entries for my name . there were 3 famous people with the same name . all 1700 come back to those 3 people and not a single entry is about me . as for married guys some of us tell the truth and some of us do not. maybe assume every guy is married until you 1. see his place 2. meet some one close to him | |
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| Background checks are a must
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:19:06 AM | i get asked all the time if i am married . i am not married but its so hard convincing a lady of that. now the real question is , " is mr dancing green  single or married " every pick up joint is full of them. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:25:22 AM | You should do much more than google.
There are sites online where you can do 100 background checks for about 40 dollars.
Takes about 10 checks to check one person. It will tell you all last addresses, number of arrests and type as well as convictions, number of marriages, children from each and divorces, if any warrents are out for them. You will have to go by gut on mental illness as there is currently no way to check medical records.... and you will have to have them have a blood test to confirm certain diseases, but they are NOT limited to STD's... so you will never really be sure about that. I not only google but check my countys tax bases. I found one man who had owned a home before with his spouse who was a man... ET VIR in legal terms.
So, be careful, you never know what is in peoples backgrounds, who they might be.. unless of course you don't care and some don't care. Good luck to them. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:28:15 AM | If it ever gets to the point where I have to go to those extremes, I might as well give up altogether. There are always going to be liars and players. You live and learn but to never trust anyone again is much worse to me so I choose to wing it and hope for the best.
Not all men are bad. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:30:13 AM | | yikes that's kinda scary .. ppl can google u and find u? you can't be serious.. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:35:27 AM | for $9.00 I can tell you your last 3 address's, previous and current phone numbers. What schools you went to and how many speeding tickets you've had.
Information age, you know where to look and you can get all the information you want (or don't want) on somebody. I've yet to do it becouse I'm a trusting individual and would hate to go that route but it is possible to do. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:45:21 AM | You said that you found online that he had given you the wrong last name. I'm not quite sure how you can google that info. Let's see....his name is John Doe so I google him and viola! it turns out that John Doe is really John Smith. Damn his little black heart for lying to me. I've never given anyone I've met online my real last name until I am comfortable with them and I seriously doubt they could find out what my real name is online much less all the other details of my life.
If you'd like to try....I say my name is Joy Jones, I live in Dallas Texas and I am a marketing exec for multi-billion dollar, fortune 25 company. I have never been married and have no children (which is a lie). Now let's see how many of you can discover my true identity and all the little details of my life from what I have told you. I just don't think it's that easy. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:56:05 AM | trust me, it is that easy.
lol
you have 10 dollars? you can find out the general background of anyone.
The thing is I only will do this if I am interested in someone, not for kicks or
to snoop into peoples lives for no reason.
If I have no interest in someone... there is no reason I care if they have been arrested for beating up the wife, molesting the kids, having lived in 6 places in 2 years because I won't be around them anyway. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 10:58:16 AM | | We don't know what info she had or used, but you should try it sometime Joy, do a google on yourself. I found out on this site, if I googled my screen name, it listed all my forum posts! Kinda weird. I googled an old friend once and found out he was a pallbearer in his grandfathers funeral. Didn't find out where he lived now, but I knew his Grandpa died. lol | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:00:49 AM | Yikes!!!!!!
Well, even if he is a fake in all and there is a lot of them out there trust me men and women! I get the full detail on that person before I meet them. When I do I want to see the Drivers License that is a must and I have paper and pencil handy too I write it all down if not he gives me his full name and county he was born in and trust me at the court house does not matter where at you can do a full complete back ground check on any one and its so free. I do it all of the time on men. Cause men I have seen in the past has lied and they were married. One was married the damn fool drives his wife's car with her name on the plates and he wears a wedding ring! Stuiped Chit says I am divorce and I have papers to prove it I have to get a hold of this one women in another state she has it lmao lawd he lies so much that even pluto the dog would get confused! lmao.....I told him cough up his divroce papers so he could not mofo so then I proceed to make my markings on this boy, so then he sends me more pics of him he accidently sends me pics of his wife lmao he leaves off line he got caught the damn fool is not as sneaky as he proclaim to be lmao.....I said ahhhh Nick hell for a big women she sure is purty lol...He comes back and says it was a freind of 26 yrs lmao I said ahhhh Nick hmmm well now that marriage was a great one huh it sure in the hell dont look like a freind to me hell more like a wife dear and you live in fancy house huh lol....So he left off line for many days, then he comes to my house an says I was adopted in a basket on a door step lmao....gawd this boy cant stop while he was ahead lmao....
So then I did a full complete back ground check on him and I was right the mofo was married in jail for abused has many properties went to court on that and then his businesses is his wifes not his lmao ......so then I tell him he got mad I told him I have his home addresses and phone numbers and I send all the links to him he threaten me lmao I told him he does not scare me at all and no man does not pass go unless I say so and with full complete back ground check! Well now his feathers were ruffled an tick lmao to me I am being safe here.
So not to long ago I get these nasty emails on my aol from other women cussing me and his wife! ME I was like these white azz mofo going off on me and they have no clue who this man is and I have known him like 4 yrs., so I told these other women who Nick was so they didn believe BUT I told them lets take notes and then they were like ummmmm ok he lied so then Nick calls them up and tell them not to talk to me drama queen bee he is cause he got caught in all mofo. So I went on and talk to his wife I called her and told her what the mofo was doing and up to and she told me that is ok and she was not mad at me cause I had him figured out and I wouldn let him control me at all. Nick wanted me to send him things and he treated me bad in public no man does that to me. So she knew it all so now poe azz Nick he has lost it all his business everything she told him he can go to his white women and stay on the other side of the fence! Roflmao And the damn fool is blaming me for his stuiped chit and I had nothing to do with it. He is a dumb criminal is all and got busted roflmao....
Over all you all you can too do a full complete back ground check in his state and county. I do it all of the time and I get thier IP numbers and scan it as well and I can do that wy too!
Well enough of this lol just be carefull! I have been a widowed since 92 and I sure in the hell dont need a man in my life that is takin up space to breath in lol...I am staying single liveing alone and just work that is my motto from now on hell you cant trust no one no more so hell just stay to your self and that way you cant get hurt and just to be happy!
Oh ya I am 45 yrs old so I have been arond the block a few times! I know what life and it sure in the hell not fantasy based its called reality and I stay there feet planted to the ground. So any one can what they want I dont hate men they are just stuiped is all. :)
Huggers.....Mary | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:12:11 AM | @mary, most people don't know how to trace IP numbers.
but I must say...... very good work. You know that not ony saved you from years of therapy, possible shooting by his ex... and a wide assortment of other potential violence....
STD's and who knows what else....
it seems that your like me.... and BLUE is not our color :)
 | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:17:09 AM | I was lucky enough to have his domain name i started thinking that i could find a friend and go from there but once i got the domain owner information including registared address i took a drive by in a borrowed car then called the house from out front amazing how quickly things went from there. i was able to find screen names online and postings to other dating sited many alterantive in nature but profiles on all stated he was single never married.
I felt I had to inform his wife I called he answered told me yes his wife knew what he was doing he actually gave her the ophone i told her everything and even printed everything out from what was still in my pc and hand delieved it to her. lol that same night he was out of that house.
dont lie to me its not worth it... lol or so now steve knows that | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:17:52 AM | | ok i'm really confused how the heck can they find you, like joy says, you give all the wrong information, how can they find u from that? they can't!! | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:20:48 AM | posted this on another forum but for what its worth
I did a background check on him while I was dating him cos things 'didnt seem right' and nothing came up, its hard to do a background check to see if they are shacking up with someone unofficially and have addictions like drugs or alcohol. I'm truely sorry that you had this experience its AWFUL. There should be a moral law to put people in jail that do things like this, its so uncivalised
*******************
I had surgery and my boyfriend had taken days off work to look after me, make food, help me walk around, feed my pets etc... awww sweet wasnt he. Then his 'sister' got a hold of my animal rescue group looking for him. I called her back, when I got the message and lo and behold, she wasnt his sister. In fact, he was living with her and had been for months. She met him on here months after I did (not on here). Hes still on here in fact. While he was living with her, he's been chatting to more women on here trying to hook up. If anyone wants to know who he is, please email me privately. He lives in Hemet but cruises the chicks in riverside, murrieta and San Diego.
By the way, he is homeless, but neither of us realised it.. he was a good con artist. I talked to her at length and while she was on the phone, dropping the ball, he continued to say "shes my sister" . She was on the phone going "oh no I'm not" LOL
It was a shock. Turns out, hes also an alcoholic, but swears up and down hes not, and the job he has on his profile is not the job he has at all. He doesnt have reliable work at all. He just cruises the dating sites looking for the next suga mamma to 'keep' him. He will move in soon after the women meets him unofficially, if hes let. He told me he was living in a motel weeks after I started dating him. That was a surprise, there was no indication of it.
but hes easy on the eye, and smooth, and sweet very loving... he'd be the last guy on earth you'd expect to have a closet full of secrets.
Phew... glad he got busted when he did!!
M | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:23:27 AM | sugar
he made the mistake of giving me a name and work place. also the domain seach was the biggest help i even found out that his step father passed away last year found his moms name and current address and where his kids go to school and where his wife works and that they both are invovled in thier sons school. once i found out about the kids that gave me more. they live in same school district as i do and where i know many people. lol his down fall was he should have used a yahoo or hotamil email where i couldnt find him. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:25:21 AM | ^^^ that is lightweight stuff
I prefer the real deal... the last 5 addys... the number of arrests and convictions, marriages, children. I dont care if he was in a funeral. That is minor | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:30:24 AM | Thankfully in Canada it's illegal to obtain information on ANYONE over the net.
I was surprised that in the US you CAN google ANYBODY ANYTIME and obtain
criminal records, credit history EVERYTHING!!! Scarey!! | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:34:57 AM |
ok i'm really confused how the heck can they find you, like joy says, you give all the wrong information, how can they find u from that? they can't!!
There are security programs you can have running on your system that can monitor all incoming traffic. Also utility's you can back step somebody's connection to trace back to their IP. From there it's a pretty simple matter, records are stored, easily obtained.
Thats just the computer side of things, you also must watch what you say when your to relaxed in a conversation. Very easy to track back someone if the right information is given out.
As Joy said, never give out your real name, fake your middle and last. If you live in a fairly small town, don't give out to many details about your surroundings. Some of the most innocuous details can give a smart individual the information needed to trace you back.
I'm not saying it is easy either, I have caught myself slipping on many occasions during conversations and have even done some stupid stuff on dates but for the most part I am very security minded and it's always in the forefront of my mind. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:42:04 AM | | um ok but i'm on a dating site meeting ppl..lol i'm not hard to find..and have nothing to hide from anyone..*rethinking meeting ppl now* | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:43:34 AM | I have nothing to hide and would welcome anyone I become involved with to
get background info on me.
I see no problem with it. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:46:34 AM |
I have nothing to hide and would welcome anyone I become involved with to
get background info on me.
I see no problem with it.
Sure you do, the same tools can be used to find you and do you harm if said person has those intentions. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:48:25 AM | | I don't have a problem with a back ground check on me either, i ain't got nothing to hide..oh except that one time up in montana when i was arrested..but other than that i'm good to go..oh wait..i forgot about that time my family had me committed..but it's ok they could only keep me for 72 hours and hadda let me go...I'm as sane as they come..*hiding ice pix* but other than those two lil things i'm ok....check away..oh damn wait...there was this other time..*grinnin* | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:53:29 AM | @doug, that is why I give no info about myself until I have met someone...
and why I take time to get to know them
It lessens those chances... I also have a good BS detector... some guys will even agree as I have busted them posting ads as a woman and BSing.
and also why I have guns... a mean dog...
and a chainsaw at the front door. He would have to be pretty crazy to mess with me.
Far as identy theft, I have some protection in place.. not fool proof but its not bad either.
I do try to be careful.
I know what they can do.
I go fisrt by my gut... then if things progress... take it slowly from there. | |
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| Background checks??
Posted: 10/30/2005 12:40:00 PM | | I did one on the first person I met from the Internet.... We had talked by phone and via e-mail for almost 6 months before we met ((as well as seen each other via web cam))... But he lived in another state, and I just didn't feel totally comfortable. I think it only cost me $45 through a place online, and I was able to find out he didn't have a criminal record and had never served any time in prison.. It was worth it for me~~ | |
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