| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 2:37:40 PM | OK, here's my delima. There's a girl l've been emailing on here for a little while. She's a great girl, wonderful personality, drop-dead gorgeous, and sharp as a tack. I'm having a little trouble believing that she might actually be attracted to me. I mean, sure, maybe it's possible but there's so many better looking guys out there. Our first date went well....a walk in the park, we talked for a few hours, then when it came time to say goodnite....I got a hug.
My question is....does a hug mean she's not really attracted, or does it mean that she hasn't made up her mind yet? I wasn't expecting her to just fall on her knees and worship me or anything. But I was kind of hoping for a better sign.
Am I just worrying over nothing? | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 2:40:30 PM | Maybe she's just shy? Maybe she senses your self-conciousness? There's nothing sexier than confidence so try not to even THINK "there are better looking guys out there"
If you ask her out again and she says yes than its fair to assume she's at least a little interested. Just relax and let things flow is my advice! | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 2:40:33 PM | | Not sure. What about body language or eye contact. She may not believe in kissing, even a kiss good bye on the first date. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 2:44:31 PM | | Don't worry about it. Same thing happened to me. Had sex the second date, and still going strong almost 6 years later! Maybe you'll do better on the next date, if there is one. If not, move on! | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 2:57:57 PM | Show up at her front door naked and with chocolates. If she invites you in and attacks you sexually; she likes you that way. If she calls the cops..um... maybe not so much.
and run
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Posted: 10/30/2005 3:01:49 PM | | Gee take it and be happy, and ask her out again, until you know. What we say might not be right, people are different on first dates. Good luck. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:20:00 PM | Why didn't YOU kiss her??
I know for me personally.. I won't kiss a guy. he has to make the first move. maybe she's the same way? I think the others here are right. call her. make another date. see how that goes. then decide. Hard to make up your mind after only one date. | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 4:30:59 PM | was it a good hug? I once got a hug that was very memorable...from an ex who I was with for 5 years. Don't freak out just yet...a hug can be a good thing | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:33:08 PM | I DID call her today. We made plans to meet for Coffee on Tuesday nite. Usually on the second date I like to be "traditional".....dinner, a movie.....that kind of thing.
Now, she let slip during our first date that she likes a certain type of flower. I'm thinking about bringing some of these flowers to the date. You know, for brownie points.
Think that would be too much?
And thanks for all the advice!! | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:39:37 PM | | It's hard to tell if she's real interested, but, a second date is a good sign. If she wasn't interested at all, there'd be no second date. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:41:26 PM | spidey......... good for you for listening to her and remembering her favorite flower !!!! Men have to 'listen more' to the hints us gals give lol
If she's accepted another date from you after the 'hug date' chances are she's interested since she did say yes to date 2 :)..... I dont know about alot of women but for me personally, showing up with a 'huge' arrangement of her favorite flowers might be a bit overwhelming right off the bat (not to say dont ever do it.. just not right away lol)... but... definately show up with 1 or 2 of them... :)
Good luck to you.. ! | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:46:07 PM | I was thinking of showing up with 3 of them...one for each of the two dates we've already been on, and one for the hope of Date 3.
I think that sounds nice....waddya you think? | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:46:50 PM | I'm having a little trouble believing that she might actually be attracted to me. I mean, sure, maybe it's possible but there's so many better looking guys out there.
And there's probably alot better looking girls out there as well. Would you want to go out with the better looking ones if they had poor personalities or the brain of a gnat?. No, didnt think so, so never sell yourself short. :)
Continue to be who you are, and more importantly, BELIEVE that you deserve to be with her, and that next hug will get alot more interesting :) | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 4:57:39 PM | | The flowers...the meaning of the three...Nice touch. I've had a couple first dates that have brought 1-3 roses...and yes, it meant alot = very romantic!! Good luck, as others have said, she accepted date two..you're on your way!! | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 16 | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 5:15:37 PM | | A hug on your first date....I view that as very friendly, open, respectfull and not pushy...and time will tell what it meant..still better than a handshake, isn't it? (-; | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 5:49:31 PM | I don't "normally" kiss on a 1st date.....
I usually just give a nice hug goodbye..... If there is an ick factor.. I just shake hands!!!!
The proof will be in the pudden.... call her and ask her out again.............
I like it when I've had a date.. and the guy sends me an E-mail letting me know they enjoyed it and they want to see me again or not.... and I can reply if I'm interested... or I can reply that I really enjoyed him and unfortunately, I only felt a friend connection...... | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 5:51:27 PM | Spidey.....Don't bring a big bouquet of flowers on a 2nd date to a coffee shop......Especially if you are meeting there...
Bring her ONE flower of the kind she likes........ (that's it) It wouldn't be embarrassing to carry around... and she'll think it's sweet!
Go to cafe Brazil to meet! fun place!!! I miss it!!! | |
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Posted: 10/30/2005 6:26:21 PM | Personally, if it were me- ONE flower would be great (depending on what kind it was) and i'd appretiate it... 3, especially if you told me that symbolism, would freak me out!
to me that whole "one rose for every yadda yadda" should be reserved for a real anniversary.. so hold onto the idea for when you get to that point with someone! its a great idea, just too soon IMO | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:27:53 PM | A hug doesn't necessarily mean she's not attracted to you. Its hard to tell, you have to read it in the context of the entire date.
Also, maybe she is not comfortable kissing on the first meeting. Maybe she was waiting for a cue from you. Maybe she had eaten garlic for lunch.
Sorry, can't be of more help, but I wouldn't immediately read it as lack of attraction. | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 6:51:29 PM | I always send an email to the girl after a first date letting her know what I thought. Sometimes I send it the night of the date after I get home. Other times it's the next day. But I *always* send one. I figure that way I'm not leaving her hanging.
Now that I think about it, I can see that the 3 rose thing might be a bit freaky. I think I'll just go with the one rose ya'll were talking about. It seems like a better idea.
God, at one time I knew all this stuff. It was second nature to me when I was in my early 20's....what happened? Where did all those instincts go? How can a guy just *forget* how to read attraction in a woman?
Does this (and the confidence killing that goes along with it) happen to women too? Or is it just me? | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 7:09:48 PM | totally happens to us, are you kidding? women are known for obsessing over men. what *i* try and do is fake it till i make it. no matter how many butterflies are in my stomach, or how many questions are flying through my head, i act like the most confident woman in the room. In many cases i am, but like a normal person i question things! you can't help it, and in my experience the more i like someone, the more i question it! you like her and want it to work out and you're nervous. the new stage is hard, just give her time and space, and be honest. take things slowly but make sure she knows how you feel without overwhelming her. its a fine line and hard to find that balance.
and i doubt you had it all figured out in your 20's... the difference is 20 somethings THINK they have it all figured out whereas you're smart enough to know better haha | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 7:27:19 PM | Spidey - sounds like things are going on the good side for you. Yes, you are worrying over nothing. Some of the other posts on here, giving her one flower would be ideal. A hug is a positive step in the sense she felt comfortable enough with you to come in contact with you. It could've been worse, it could've been the ol handshake or a wave "goodbye". The fact that your first date went for several hours, that is another positive sign.
The easiest way to get through this is one conversation, one date at a time. Nothing more, nothing less. Relationships take time to build. If you start getting "expectations" going at this stage of the game, what I can guarantee is that you will scare her off and blow the relationship. Take those "baby" steps, take it slow, and most of all, ENJOY! | |
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| does a hug mean she's not really attracted
Posted: 10/30/2005 7:31:37 PM | A hug does not necessarily mean she is not attracted to you. Honestly some girls are more shy around a guy they do like then one that they do not! You mentioned that the two of you talked for hours. In my opinion, good sign. Talking is good.
Did you pick up any hints during that time of talking to her that she might be a little conservative, or shy? Perhaps she feels kissing on the 1st date is too fast and if she decides to kiss you down the road, she wants it to be because she has slowly developed genuine feelings for you. She also may be traditional in that she would prefer you make the first move. It's difficult to say. But I would not assume she is blowing you off just yet, especially if she's agreed to another date.
As for the flowers. Nice touch. It shows you were paying attention to what she said to you on the first date - big plus! I think your idea is wonderful with the 3 flowers plan, but a little variation might be to give her the first two at the beginning. Then when you are ready to drop her off (or each of you is ready to take your cab home, however that is working for you), then give her the third flower as your symbol that you would like a 3rd date! | |
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