| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 2:59:22 PM | | I have met this guy on here that I find very attactive..He seems sweet and very outgoing.. Looks like he has a daughter which is great.. I like a man who takes responsibility.. I also have kids.. We have only been sending messages back and forth for 2 days. He has said that he would like to meet me..So my question is Should I go ahead and meet him or Should I not and wait? I would like to know what you guys and gals think... ~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:25:06 PM | that all depends on how comfortable you feel about this guy. have you waltched for red flags? make sure its somewhere public, or just bring a baseball bat, just in case. 
good luck | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:44:38 PM | paleone--Thanks for your input. I feel comfortable so far ..He seems sweet and nice.He is open to do or go anywhere to meet..But I might bring the BAT just incase...I have never done this before..Plus I'm still tryin to get DIVORCED....Hopefully this friday..... But he is ok with all that..Well thanks for your advice...~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:48:10 PM | Why don't you exchange phone numbers first? Sometimes it's really easy to be attracted to a person's writing. But the real test is talking in real time.
The phone gives you another avenue of "connecting" and yet you are still protected to a certain extent.
I have been extremely drawn to men through emails. I always give them my phone number before we meet. In some cases, they just don't "measure up" over the phone. The conversation may be stilted, or they just don't seem engaged. Or they expect you to do all the work--like calling them all the time. It's just another screening tool, but it does seem to work!
If you still hit it off talking, try two or three more calls, THEN by all means! get together.
Good luck!! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:55:46 PM | Go for it
Too many people fall into the trap of waiting too long before meeting
Dating sites are only to provide an introduction service
This one does a lot more
But its primary function is to get people together
If it was 'real life' you would possibly be on your third or fourth 'date' by now
Totally agree that phone is very important
It is more like the 'real world' then
..
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 3:58:02 PM | | hawtmama--Ilike your screenname....You do have a point ...I like that idea thank you...So now it's his turn to write back then after that I'll give him my #... I'll keep you guys posted on what's going on ... ~Sexymama~ Thabks again... | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:00:03 PM | | longte--Thank you for your input as well... You guys are alot of help ...Kinda like family we all are... ~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:13:43 PM | I say meet him before the A) the fantasy takes over the reality and/or B) the online thing gets stale and one of you loses interest.
Make it real. That is what you're here for.
Have fun. | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:16:04 PM | I agree with pale and haw.
I would go from email to phone to webcam...
take it in steps....
and be ready for anything so keep your ears and eyes open.
Be sure to trust your instincts. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:19:38 PM | | just don't hit him over the head with the baseball bat until after he pays for dinner | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:26:28 PM | To ask for opinions, means you aren't ready or comfortable with doing so yourself!
Two days is a pretty short time to jump from a few messages to meeting, this is the internet world with loads of good people, but loads of wierdos too!
In the ned, you have to do what is most comfortable for you, and if that isn't respected by him, then you know where that is going! | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:49:57 PM | | frrosty.. Thank you too for the advice...i know what your saying ... A relationship can go bad before it even gets started... LOL ~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 4:57:58 PM | | To rainbow fish,arrianno, and melbuck3--- Thank you all for the advice..My eyes and ears are always open...And if the nights not going good I'll wait till after dinner to use the BAT... No really this is a question I just wanted to see how others felt about.... I know that I'm not going to meet him till I'm really comfortable with this guy... I'm leery about meeting people I don't know anyway....~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 5:05:02 PM | I think you need to trust your instincts and use reasonable caution. Meet in a public place, let a friend know where you are going and have her/him call your cell at a specific time to check up on you. The phone call can serve as two things.
One, it's a great safety device, if you don't answer, then they know there could be problems. Or if you answer, but don't say the all clear secret password, they will also know things are not good.
The second great thing about having a friend call you while your out on a date. If your with someone and all you can think about is how to come up with an excuse to leave. The ringing phone could be your out, suddenly you have to go for personal reasons that are urgent, consider yourself "saved by the bell". | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/1/2005 5:25:15 PM | | Jackleg --Thats good advice also.......Thank you.. I hope all this advice helps someone else also... Thanks..~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 5:34:32 PM | | you should wait you will be divorced in two weeks and you should not rush into another relationship because every time you do it ends up in disaster and you know this i think you should do your own thing for a few months and find yourself and god again because you have lost both and until you find though things you will never be happy. and the deal with the kids maybe you should go see yours it might make you alot happier. | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 5:39:50 PM | | why do you say stuff like your leary to meet people you dont know why dont you tell everyone the truth about your self quit trying to hide behind a mask open up to people and tell them everything you have done to others. and also the truth about your divorce and what you did to bring this on yourself and if they still want to talk to you then you will have it made for a few months | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:51:52 PM | try to start talking on the phone if you havent already. If you can chat for a quite a while and he still holds your interest [ remember people can edit emails and texts] then its worth a shot
I agree with the public meeting, ensuring you have your own transport worked out and plenty of emergency funds. And yes a backup phone call from a girlfriend never goes astray
could be good, could be bad, but you never never know if you never never go, right? | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:34:25 PM | I understand the idea about the webcam, that's supposed to confirm that the posted pics actually belong to the person with whom you are communicating. But a webcam is needed in order to meet someone? What if they don't have a webcam? I don't have one, that means I cannot be trusted? I've met women who I've corresponded with on-line dozens of times, what's the friggin' big deal about doing that? You meet in a public place with no expectations or pre-conceived notions. If you're that concerned for your safety, tell the other person that you are bringing a friend along. I guess women have really been burned often with this process, it shouldn't be that way.
Sexymama, I'd encourage you to meet this guy, stop wondering and start discovering. I generally offer the lady to meet somewhere near her and let her choose the venue. Not every male is out to scam you ladies. Good luck to you whatever you decide! | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:47:01 PM |
Jackleg:
The second great thing about having a friend call you while your out on a date. If your with someone and all you can think about is how to come up with an excuse to leave.
The only time I can think to do this is if you feel your personal safety is at risk if you told the person this is not working and you want to end the date. I've done this several times with women for various reasons (woman's appearance not what I expected, woman obviously disrespecting me on the date, I find out things about the woman that any normal person would put in their profile, etc.). Women have done this to me as well--rather they do this than waste my time.
Now of course you owe nothing to someone who you never choose to see again. But I'd rather end the date truthfully and respectfully instead of lying. Say the guy you meet is really a psycho--he's going to follow up with e-mails or phone calls, you tell him you're not interested, or come up with some other response like you are now seeing someone else. If you and him are from the same small town, it's possible your paths will cross and then you might have a real problem on your hands. Sometimes you reap what you sow. JMO. | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:41:29 PM | | To crystalise and bike man----Thank you for your input... I will take everything you guys have said into perspective....I have learned alot from everyone giving their opinions and advise...I hope this helps others as it has and will help me....THANK YOU ALL.....~Sexymama~ | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/4/2005 10:05:27 AM | | i am with drawing former statement about sexymama it was cruel and harsh and out of vengance to all that read it ignore all of it and to sexymama im sorry | |
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| Should I or Shouldn't I ?
Posted: 11/4/2005 6:40:30 PM | No worries sexymama - hope you have a great time and he turns out as nice in real life
To bikeman. No you dont need a webcam in order to meet someone, its just that can be a option if they have one to get to know them a little better. Can be fun too to be able to talk and see their facial expressions and laugh. But its not something you HAVE to have in order to take online to a real date | |
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