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 Author Thread: are the pay sites scamming us
 kevinkrf1

Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 1
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 6:54:17 AM
Well this is just my opinion.Maybe I really don't get email from my sites I visit while they are still paid for,but it is awfully funny when my subscription runs out they have messages for me again.0 for a month,then 4 or 5 messages to sucker me in to pay for them.Are they sending those new ones themselves.Haven't met any of them yet that popped up later.Some are from russia, rumania , and where ever.I didn't fall off the dumb wagon yesterday and when I did it wasn't on the stupid side.The only sites to trust is free ones.The other ones do not want you off the market ,it doesn't pay.They want you to fail.They also I think are holding back emails for 30 days or so so when you do make contact it is too late or they forgot about you,or they have spotted someone better by then.Needless to say those m$#@$!@# aren't getting more of my money.Some sites let you see who is on and have chat direct and I have found a few girls that way.Not to many from emails from other people.Who is to say that when girl replies she actually said no, maybe it was yes and they changed it,I have had way to many no's and almost zero yes i would like to date you.Kevin
 hawkeyeNine

Joined: 9/15/2005
Msg: 2
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History
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 7:41:48 AM
Kevin, yes they are, especially places like eHArmony. Same thing happened to me. 0 for 3+ weeks then 4 or 5 during the last days or so.
Back in the good days, Match and Yahoo were basically free now they are pays and not worth it. Another thing is that I find a very low - extremly low success rate when I initiate the first contact
 latintango

Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 3
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:16:27 AM
I think you are right....it's all a big conspiracy...
Probably when a woman answers your mail with a : Yes baby, I'd love to meet you, they change the message to read : You f*****ng scumbug, get off my face or I'll call the internet police...

Then, when you are about to leave the site, they get their operatives in eastern Europe to write passionate letters...and knowing how hard things are in the former communist countries, they probably pay them cheap too, like a Big Mac and supersized fries...

It's the same with doctors and mechanics....do they need people that are not sick or cars that don't break down...? Of course not, that will put them out of business...

The House or the Senate should investigate...is Dicky Cheney involved in this...?....stay tuned...


 kcirtap_54

Joined: 3/30/2005
Msg: 4
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 8:28:39 AM
I agree, pay sites are scamming us. I am on several pay sites and three free ones. I get more e mail from the pay sites, but to reply I have to give a credit card number, no thax.
One site sends auto "winks", to let you know someone is interested, I know a woman who sent me a wink and asked her why because we stopped dating, she never sent one.
One other site I am on wants you to pay only 6 dollars, but when I did, the women live in another state and I put in the profile that I want to meet women from my own state.
Funny story off the subject, someone wasted 20 dollars to meet me, we chatted on messenger for a while and when we described where we lived, it turned out she lived three doors down. We could have met at the local supermarket, which is where I hang out with my new pick up line, Haven't I seen you on line?
 MootBubbles

Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 5
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:20:10 AM
Absolutely. I put my profile up on a pay site where the first 3 days were free. No contacts, which is OK after 3 days as I found most of the men were from the southern states and I'm in Canada. The same day the free trial is up I get an email from a guy with an awesome profile. It's as if he wrote his profile to meet all my wants and desires, and yeah, looks were a bonus. I should have known it was a scam. He sounded too good to be true. Of course I couldn't let that one go, so I paid the $14.95 for a 1 month subscription to be able to read the email. All it said was "Hi there". I responded and haven't heard from him since. Needless to say I didn't renew my subscription.
 curtstl

Joined: 1/7/2004
Msg: 6
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are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 9:56:37 AM
I agree on the paysites and with the comments from the other gentleman here. The more Adult Sites are even more fun. Put your profile out on any of them and you start receiving e-mails for young babes with the hot bods. Sometimes 20 in a day. I think what they do is tell these girls that they can have a free profile if they e-mail at least 20 per month that aren't members to get them to sign up.......................

To the guy that meets them at the Supermarket............take your kids with you and cute little girls (like I have) work better then boys. They are like bait.............

Curt
 clandestine_nirvana

Joined: 12/24/2004
Msg: 7
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History
i'm curious
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:11:14 AM
which free sites have you tried out?
 evil4u

Joined: 10/1/2005
Msg: 8
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are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:11:30 AM
I totally agree 2 days ago I decided to delete 2 of the 4 dating nets I am signed up for, knowing the 34.95/mo. to e-mail, or even see what there message was,etc..I'ts B.S. Cigars to plenty of fish Admin. for bringing up the ?. They rock... I'm corresponding with ggggggggggggggggggreat guys it's easy and fun.
 ffry

Joined: 2/17/2005
Msg: 9
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 10:25:50 AM
That's exactly what's happening, it's actually called fraud, but good luck proving it's them sending the emails.
 Toronaga

Joined: 7/13/2005
Msg: 10
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 12:27:19 PM
So the pay sites aren't any better? That's a bummer to say the least.

I'm starting to feel strongly that internet dating is just not a good idea. It's a great way to meet friends, but as for more. Nope.
 Callmethehunter

Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 11
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/3/2005 2:20:21 PM
Well no sheet sites like Yahoo Personals are a big scam. I've emailed a bunch of chicks on there, and either got no reply or spam in my regular email to go join another paysite. With fake sexy type letters from girls telling me to go to their profile on a different site. Because I thought I'd use the free 7-day trial to email these girls and give them my real email address...a mistake. The girls were total fakes. ESPECIALLY the average to good looking ones. All the Fuglies were real I believe. And of course there's the Russian scams...they say they are in your area, so you contact them or they contact you, then you find out they are in Russia. You talk with them for a few weeks on regular email outside of Yahoo or whatever, then they want to fly to America to meet you. Thing is, they have about half the plane fare, and then they ask for you to help out with the rest. Then you KNOW you are dealing with a scammer...the one I talked to was pretty clever too, even sent me a picture I specifically requested to see of her at her hair salon job, where she supposedly worked. And I say "she", it was more than likely a greasy slimeball named Vladimir or some crap, sending me pics of his damn girlfriend or partner in crime wench. Luckily, I checked around while this was going on
and got wise to the trick being played on my butt, or I woulda been just another gullible basssstard. With special emphasis on TARD.
 kevinkrf1

Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 12
i'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2005 6:29:54 AM
Hi,only one so far.Plentyoffish maybe just this one less to keep track of.They all use us for advertising even the pay sites so might as well use free ones.Linux is free and a lot of severs use it keyword for linux is free.
 rockerguy24

Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 13
i'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2005 12:35:39 PM
Lets see where to I begin. i got sucker into Match.com, lavalife, and of course yahoo. I had no luck on those sites. Its just a waste of me, and of course i do get those damn emails from someone saying they saw my profile and want to meet me. Blah, blah, blah, i get sucker in and nothing, no response. I'm just trying to get back into the dating scene again. Online dating its not what i expected.
 Young Professional

Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 14
i'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2005 2:38:36 PM
I have to disagree. I've had some success on LavaLife and Lemontonic, both which are pay sites. I haven't been on here long enough to say whether this will be better or not. I certainly like the fact that it's free, but I have so far found that the pay sites have more serious people on there. Not just looking for someone to talk to online, they're actually looking for a date.
 Nipper66

Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 15
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:23:24 AM
Not just the pay sites, I find the free sites as well, including this one....When I first signed up I received some emails, now I have not received and email in over a week???? Or better yet talked to anyone...now I just put my 2 cents into the forms and I will more than likely close my profile soon. So good luck to all expecially the females who get what like 500+ emails and day...please
 grplaman

Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 16
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:58:47 AM
Kevin........you are absolutly right! BIG SCAM!
 rockerguy24

Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 17
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:44:11 PM
My problem is I live in a bad single town. The man out rate the woman here. So their is alot of single guys in san antonio and not enough single woman. I only gotten like two emails, one for my curtins and another one response that one day she was into me, then the next just drifted off. she said she been busy and hasnt be able to return my phone call which i heard that line before. I know better enough it doesnt take like 5 min just to say hi to someone your interested in. On a funny note....i have an extra spurs ticket now. Who should i take?
 GeneStauf84

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
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are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 3:02:47 PM

The grass is never greener my friend.

Agreed. Why look for greener grass when you can just try to make YOUR OWN grass greener!
 cotter

Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 19
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are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 6:28:14 PM
Yea ... I was on the paid sites too ... still have two memberships that are running out this month. I haven't been back to them since I signed on here. The reason is further below ... read on.

There are even more "players" on the paid sites than here ... that's why I sort of just chuckle when I hear all the people here complaining. Don't misunderstand ... I know it's not funny that people are out there playing games with others, and I am sympathetic. It's mean-hearted and cruel and I can't understand why people participate in that behavior. Time is so precious and I would never consider wasting it to hurt others' feelings.

The reason I chuckle is ... it's just blows right by me why someone would pay to play with others' feelings. It's like ... if they're really not interested in finding a partner, why the Hey are they paying to be there? I guess the only way to describe it is ... "Pay to Play"?

I'm one of the lucky ones on here ... I'm 56 years old and found a man on my first try ... almost exactly my age. Fate? I don't know. Right after I signed on here, I did a search and just as I was in the process of composing an email to a gentleman who I thought looked interesting, the computer told me I had a message from POF.

Okay, I thought maybe it was just a "welcome" letter and was going to ignore it at first, but then I decided to look at the email anyways ... ah, the curiosity of a woman ... I broke off writing the email to that gentleman and took a look at the message and believe it or not, it was from the very man I was in the process of trying to write a letter to!

I'm moving to Hawaii in spring 2006 to be with him.
 HuggyBear4U

Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 20
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 8:42:11 PM
I’ve used “internet” dating for longer than I care to admit, but I have actually dated several nice gals. So yes, at least some of the postings are for real. Though I’ve come to the conclusion that there are so many male fish in the pond that gals simply go window shopping and pick the most attractive and affluent. Just take a look at the gender ratio of the cast of characters on this thread- most are guys; and there are far many more guys looking on these sites than are women. I’ve also learned many things about some of the sites out there so I thought I’d share some of them.

I’m not professing to be an expert on all pay sites, but I can state the following:

History- back in 1999/2001, excite and yahoo had the market share for personals- they were both free- and a user could place an actual email address in their ad, or use the house mailbox. And both of these sites also maintained separate adult personals classifieds- which were free as well, and there were no restrictions or censorship of any text or photo. At some point one or both of these sites started offering “extra” services like an outgoing voice greeting for a fee. Then a drastic change in this market occurred. Excite personals and classifieds listings disappeared, presumably bought out by another corporate entity, perhaps yahoo; with the intent of eliminating their competition, and opening the door for yahoo to charge for classifieds- personals, used cars, or any classified listing since they then became the only game in town. Things haven’t been the same since then, and we are fortunate to have Plenty of Fish at this time Match and yahoo personals are a multi million dollar enterprise. Think about it- if Plenty of Fish can offer this service to us for free, and still make some profit from the limited advertising; then the pay sites are racking in a fortune- and not giving us a fair exchange. The owners of POF found a niche market where they have the opportunity to make some revenue and sacrificed an attempt to compete with the giants. And POF is certainly entitled to receive their advertising revenue for their investment and effort in creating and maintaining this site. Lets hope this site continues for everyone.

Russian gals are rushing to meet ya- Okay, probably everyone has gotten these messages, but as cynical as I can sometimes be; I would suspect that the scamming is not originated by the pay site, but by scammers wanting money so your special sweetie pie can afford an airline ticket to arrive immediately and fall into your awaiting arms.

Altered content of email- As for Latintango’s suspicion - “Probably when a woman answers your mail with a : Yes baby, I'd love to meet you, they change the message to read : You f*****ng scumbug, get off my face or I'll call the internet police...” I doubt this actually happens for real. I don’t think the pay sites have the time, or even need to bother to go through such extremes; when they can use other simpler methods. And if this alleged fraud could be proved, than it would be the basis for a major legal fraud suit. However------despite claims that match does not screen emails between members, read this-

FACT- if you are a paying member of Match, and include your email address in an outgoing email, match will COVERTLY REPLACE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS with your username at match address- so unless the person you are responding to has a paid membership, they will not be able to communicate with you. They have a computer program which scans the email for a “@, and dot com” characters, despite their claim that they do not screen messages.

FACT- I have experienced mail on both yahoo and match that sometimes mysteriously DISAPPEARED and never got to the intended recipient- despite a copy and acknowledgement of the “sent message”.

FACT- I have personally experienced DELAYS of up to several days with incoming or outgoing messages.

FACT- BE FOREWARNED - STALE ADS- match recently has changed the longest lack of online activity level to “less than 3 weeks” I was not able to locate any listings on their site that stated any less activity level. THIS IS FRAUD !! THEY WANT YOUR MEMBERSHIP $$$$, SO THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THE SWEETIE WHOSE PROFILE YOU’RE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HASN’T CHECKED IN FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS. Yahoo recently removed their classification of “over 3 months” and so the oldest ads will now say “within 3 months” This DECEPTION is very intentional. On POF, you can easily determine the last activity by placing the profile in your favorites, and it will show an exact date for the last login. So you don’t waste your time responding to someone who is no longer in the pond. And even if you choose to do so, at least the communication will be free.

FACT- I can’t swear this is intentional, but when you specify a specific DISTANCE on a search, match, yahoo, and unfortunately also POF will give you results that exceed the distance up to 100%, so a 50 mile search will give you results of a 100 mile radius- to cities you’ve probably never heard of before- but would ASSUME are within the specified distance- since computers are supposed to be exact. I suspect that the real source of this is some commonly used software program that just isn’t accurate.

FACT- on match, if you do a SEARCH for profiles with or without photos, you will NOT get 100% of the profiles. If you want to check out all the fish, er ah I mean potential partners out there, you need to do a separate search for with or without photo’s; and also just profiles with photos. SO……..what this means is that if you have a pic posted on match; your perfect match (or just a great date) might never find your ad- regardless if you are paying for a subscription or not. I went to great lengths to get an answer from match on this one, and their response was “the choice of search options are simply designed to provide a different “blend” of results”. How is that for ethics and responsibility ?

FACT- most if not all of the pay sites receive the majority of their revenue from folks that are enticed for whatever reason to sign up for that “3 – 7 day” FREE period, and FAIL to CANCELL their “FREE” membership, so they wind up getting stung for a month or even longer- same applies if they fail to cancell after the 30 day period, or whatever the membership duration they subscribed to. THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW AGAINST THE AUTOMATIC CHARGING OF CREDIT CARDS, unless the subscriber chooses that option.

Well that’s enough of my rambling for now. Stay tuned for the book.

Good luck fishing
 GeneStauf84

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
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History
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/5/2005 9:54:24 PM
wow. thank goodness i've NEVER sent ANY money AT ALL to a dating site.

I hope that these scamming nutheads get what they deserve.
 detroitleaning

Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 22
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 11:10:03 AM
Here's my two cents worth...In this VIRTUAL world of singles, I believe the numbers of males outweigh the number of females. Among my single girlfriends, I am definitely in the minority when it comes to utilizing the internet to build my lovelife. I try to pursuade them, but many have not tried online dating, for fear of the few oddballs. I keep in mind that the idea of having to pay to mingle with singles is as old as church dances and moose lodge mixers, complete with the watered-down drinks and cheesy cover bands. What this free site does for me, is remove the money factor from the meeting singles experience. I'm happy to have learned about this site. Lastly, there is an equivalent to the Russian bride scam...ladies beware of the Arabian Knight scam!
 jim9660

Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 23
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 11:47:06 AM
It doesn't matter whether it is free or not. When people do not have the courtesy of replying, even saying no thanks, then it all seems like a scam.
 HuggyBear4U

Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 24
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/6/2005 10:09:09 PM
[/It doesn't matter whether it is free or not. When people do not have the courtesy of replying, even saying no thanks, then it all seems like a scam.]


Jim- welcome to club dating. Hate to tell ya, but this happens to everyone- for various reasons. But how can you call it a scam ? What is the scam here ? Discourtesy perhaps, but not more than that. Do you get offers from junk mail, and email spam that you have no interest in ? Do you take the time to write back to every sender and tell them “no thanks” ? Most folks don’t respond back for two reasons. First, they probably have other things to do like check out the other ten profiles on the same page with your incoming message; and secondly, most people don’t like to give negative messages if they don’t have to. At least on Plenty of Fish they have it set up so you can see if and when an email is opened. If you see “read/deleted”, that is a communication of sorts, perhaps not as courteous as a reply, but it nevertheless makes a statement. And if you just see “read”, then maybe that person is still thinking about you as a possible candidate- from the field of the other 99 candidates. Just keep fishing- you’ll get a bite eventually. Trick is reeling em in
 reservedfor1

Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 25
are the pay sites scamming us
Posted: 11/8/2005 9:44:46 PM
I have to say that at 45 and on a pay site I get a lot of hits from all ages and requests for dates from 21 & up. I post honestly and use updated photos. I go out to club to dance and it is much the same. Think the sites could definitely charge less.
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