| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:16:01 AM | Hey all...thanks for taking the time to read my post....
Ive got a bit of a problem here, and I need some advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. Im the beginning he was married, and I knew it. I also knew the family, and knew that there were many problems there and that divorce was around the corner ( please dont diss me for dating a married man, there were alot of different factors in this decision :) )
Anyways, over the last few years, him and his wife have seperated, yet he still lives there. He travelles alot for his job, and is really only home maybe one week out of the whole month. Recently, his wifedecided that she was going to have fun now ( she knows about us) and start dating herself. Which is fine, she deserves to be happy too right?
The past few months he's been dealing with his wife dating other men, and letting go. Hes been dealing with money issues ( his wife taking all his money) and what not. He's having issues with the fact that his whole life ( hes 45) he's worked hard to have what he has now. A nice house, new cars, money, ect. And now he has to give it all up, because he's in love with me and wants a relationship with me.
Ive been calling him lately since he's away at work and he's hasnt been returning my calls. He's basically ignoring me, and hes doen this in the past. We've been through alot together and we love eachother alot.
Should I just let him do what he wants until this divorce issue boils over? Should i back off until he's ready to fully be with me? Give me all his attention? Stop calling him and wait for him to talk to me? Give him space?
I want to give him his space, but im his girlfriend dammit, he should be confiding in me, and letting me help him through his issues. Why is he pushing me away? Does he not care if e loses me? His son said that I should stop talking to him, and he'll realize how much he misses me and what he's lost.
Any suggestions/comments?
Thanks :) | |
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| dealing with a married man? the nightmare !!
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:28:12 AM | Just my opinion but you are young and beautiful !!
From experience I'd say, he's having his cake and eating it too !!
Only now he probably can't even decide to use a fork or a spoon !!
Remember the old saying let it go, if it comes back then.... !!
You probably coould benefit from a little less baggage !!
Just my opinion, Good Luck to you with or without him | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:34:19 AM | Give him space girl.... you've already invested 2yrs in this relationship so just give him time. It's never easy when two people are splitting and loosing everything he worked for is hard to handle ontop of it.
And if he's ignored you in the past... then what makes this time any different? If he really loves you, he'll be back!
Some time apart will make him realize how much he does miss you and he'll be running back to you before too long....
Patience can make all the difference....
I wouldn't give up just yet...
k.. that's all I have to say... lol.... good luck and I hope it works out for you. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:40:05 AM | mellybabe i think it's time for you to move on. you can not call him or what ever your going to do, but it's over. trust me, i'm 45 too and with the type of job he has, your not the only one. i know it's going to hurt, but there isn't going to be a future for you with him. you are a very pretty young woman. you will find some one else who cares about you. always remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. you don't need this in your life. he will never be faithful to you. he wasn't with his first. what makes you think things will be different with you. you'll only get hurt worse in the end. find someone who will love only you. good luck to you sweetheart. things can get better. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:44:19 AM | You haven't got the picture after all this time?
Honey, look out for you now...
I think you're very unhappy and you need to find happiness within you before you can find it with someone else...
Be good to you and don't worry about him... | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 10:53:27 AM | I say stay away from him and his familty until they are at least living in different homes....this guy must be having a blast...seems like he's not sure what he wants...and if he's ignoring you? well he mustn't care how you feel or he'd be making sure you were okay....the people out here helping you out--they care more than he does and we are strangers to you. You deserve better | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:01:01 AM | You do deserve better~~ And think long and hard about it.. If he's cheating on his wife, who's to say he won't cheat on you>? I'd have to trust someone with one on of my children's lives before I'd ever go into a situation like that, and the chances of that are almost nil~~~
I was involved with 1 married person ((but didn't know it until his best friend felt the need to tell me))... Deep down I did know though.. I just didn't WANT to... I'll never go there again~~
Remember, you DO deserve better than that.... | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:05:47 AM | OK, I am a man and I know men, so you should listen:Married men that date other women are only about bumping uglies ie; having sex with you and they will tell you whatever it takes to get it regularly.
It is obvious that if he doesn't return your calls.......once again, you are only a piece of meat to him. You are a place to go and a person to "do" when he is in the mood. Wake up!
Don't you want to really be loved? If people men or women treat you like this, it is an obvious sign that they don't give a shit about you personally. You are a warm body in his bed. He is doing more than working I promise you! Tracy (buccaneer38)  | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:29:35 AM | He has $ but he still lives with his wife?
He loves you but he still lives with his wife?
He's ignoring you and it's not the first time?
Sorry, but that is absurd and you've been used.
whoops, I mean you've allowed yourself to be used. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:33:25 AM | | thanks funny girl. i try to call them as i see them. i've seen a lot of my friends through the years get hurt for the same stuff she is going through. i guess we call that wisdom, but some don't believe us and they go on and get hurt any way. just trying to head it off before she goes down that same path. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:37:23 AM | Hi there, I know the feeling. I have been dating a guy and I found out he had a fiancee, he has been telling me its lies, but hey the girl wont leave me alone, I set up a new profile so she would leave me alone, but she found it again. She set up a fake profile to message me..
It hard babe, but hs is using you, and I know its not nice to accept, coz right now I am hurting too. But one day we will both be better than these guys | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:45:40 AM | Guys, I literally sat here an cried as I read your responses. I have mixed feelings on whether i should give him space and see what happens, or to just tell him to leave me alone. Ive decided to give him space and see what happens. Im deeply in love with him right now, and i know never talking to him again would kill me. But i also know that somthing isn't right here, and I know that i don't deserve to be treated like this.
Thankyou so much for your input, your kind and not so kind *smile* words did mean alot to me, and It's nice to know that complete strangers care about me and my happiness.
Bless you all, your all angels :) | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:54:43 AM | | Wait a minute - NO HE SHOULD NOT BE CONFIDING IN YOU!!! He belongs to someone else, and you stepped in and involved yourself in his marriage as a mistress. The proper thing to do would be to back off and let him figure out if he can save his marriage!! And let's face it - if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 11:58:27 AM |
The proper thing to do would be to back off and let him figure out if he can save his marriage!!
The marriage is already over, he's just dealing with what everyone deals with when going through a divorce ( money, house,ect) | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:01:59 PM | Wow,
I thought the writing is on the wall, you are 21 and he is 45. I am sorry but I promise you he is not worth putting your life on hold for; he doesn't seem to respect you enough to be honest with what is happening with him.... he never will be. Just get on with your life find someone wonderful who adores you, don't be a sideline. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:08:48 PM | | A man that is truly interested and in love with you...will not ignore your calls. Sounds to me like he has yet another girlfriend...and you are like the "wife" now. Move on and I would stay away from married men from now on. You can do far better!!! | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:22:10 PM | | Hi mellybabes.You are experiencing what is called the "convenience factor".Sorry to say but your relationship is one of convenience.He has the choice...his current lifestyle...cars,money etc. or you.Seems to me like he's dragging his feet a bit here.Money and all of that doesn't mean s@@t if you are not happy.It was ok for him when his wife wasn't seeing anyone to be seeing you and now that she has moved on...he's maybe having second thoughts?What's good for the goose is good for the gander in this situation and obviously he doesn't like that much.face it hon...you are the "side dish"...or he would have given it all up for you a long time ago. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 12:25:20 PM | How on earth did you get seriously involved with a guy who is 45..?
You should be dating somebody close to your own age, maybe a little older, but one who is old enough to be your father...? Wowwww.... | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 1:49:26 PM | | Give him space? Christ give the moron a***nic. Here's a tip dear, married 45 year old guys who use you as a trampoline never ever have your interest, feelings, welfare or wellbeing anywhwere in their mind. Not one not ever. Sadly your mother or the figure who should be in her stead never shared that with you. Poor fellow, no new car no new house. Awww. He needs smacked in the head with a pipe for chrissakes, you're a little girl. Look for someone closer your age dear. Don't settle on the first idiot who has a good line. Best of luck kid. seriously, best of luck. | |
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XM46
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Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 21 | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 1:57:35 PM | I wont turn on my cam and get naked and masturbate for you, ect, unless we've gotten to know eachother very well, im not here to get you off, im looking for more than that, dont get me wrong, I enjoy every aspect of sex and im more than willing to give you a show on cam, but at least spend some time to get to know me before you ask me to get naked.
I guess that's all for now, I tend to add new things as they occur to me...
The above was copied and pasted directly from your profile. You seem to be one very confused and mixed up girl. I know how a married man can mess with your head, but it seems your troubles lie a lot deeper than just that. My advice would be to walk away... or run, as fast as you can. Take some time to centre yourself and ask what it is you really want out of your relationships. Are you into cybering with guys, as long as you *get to know them first*... or are you really just in love with the idea of being in love???
If I were you, I would remove your profile and spend some time on yourself. You're worth it. | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 2:10:18 PM |
If I were you, I would remove your profile and spend some time on yourself
Point taken about the profile, and about spending more time on myself.
Are you into cybering with guys
Not at all, but i dont have a problem showing off a body part or two, it boosts my self esteem.
Thankyou 4 ur input :) | |
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Le_MOO
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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 24 | |
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| Please Help..dealing with a married man?
Posted: 11/5/2005 2:22:39 PM | That's really not a good way to improve self-esteem hon...
And btw...not talking to someone again has never killed anyone...
Now, HB is gone for the moment and bush is speaking:
Get yourself your own man...
Grow up and stop the high school bullshit and drama...
Stop helping that asswipe destroy his family...
Wake up and realize that until he's got a reason to want to fuck you again you're not going to hear from him...
If you do hear from him, don't have sex and see how long he sticks around... | |
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