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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 6:29:20 AM | This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and ****ing about what ***holes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girls every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once theyre at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don?t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldnt worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you?d ever orchestrated in Halo2 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn?t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing serious? between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: oh, but we're just friends!? And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you?re nice like that. The nice guys dont often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys dont seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I cant. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative ****es. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as ..oh, hes too nice to date? or he would be a good boyfriend but hes not for me? or he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn?t possibly ask him out!? or the most frustrating of all: no, it would ruin our friendship.? Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I cant figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (Im going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesnt last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you?re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 6:36:08 AM | I'm a nice guy, I finish last.
Bad boys get the ladies for a time, but in the end the ladies realise they're only going to get hurt that way, and come around. Knowing that we want to make them happy, that we tend to be more about the steak and less about the sizzle than out more sinister fellow men.
This is the the thought that keeps my hopes up.
Kiflomb!
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 6:37:48 AM | Here Yah! Well put. I'll toast to the nice guys out there.
Always remember, girls date the bad boy, but they marry the nice guy. (the smart ones anyway)
B | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 6:43:16 AM | This wonderfully written litany can be applied to nice girls who finish last as well. What you wrote here....I can appreciate it all...been there myself as the unappreciated friend. I spent many hours on the phone with a friend who b!tched about his girlfriend and how horrible she treated him, yet he is still with her. I got up in the middle of the night to go pick him up after an abusive fight, where she beat on him, and brought him back to my place so he could hide out and chill for a few days. I have dropped everything for him on a number of occassions because I am his friend and I will do that for a friend.
Then there is another friend who brought me photos that his girlfriend took of him because she was too jealous for me to take them. Yet she did a lousy job and he wants me to fix them so they can go to the publisher. I am just the friend that he hugs and kisses and gives mixed signals to, but I am not the dateable one. I am the one who listens to his lamenting about the difficulities of dating and managing being a father. I am the one that he calls in the middle of the day because he wants to talk to me and ask my advice about something even tho I am at work and am perfectly able to drop everything because he has a crisis with a photo shoot, or some modelling project.
I am on the receiving end of a lot of male friends who tell me their problems and share their hopes and dreams with me...then they hug me and tell me that I am such a great friend and some man will be so lucky to find me some day. Well my friend....you! Yes you...the friend...last time I looked, you are a man and we are already friends. But I am the undateable friend in their eyes...because they do not want to ruin a friendship!
So to the women out there that have gone through that and still go through that....Cheers! | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 6:47:45 AM | Great post nice guy 
and lets not forget the ones who do all of the above because they truly want to and because they truly know the meaning of being a friend. They do so quietly and without fanfare, nor expecting a pat on the back or rewards. Their reward is knowing they have made a difference to someone important in their life  | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 7:07:13 AM | | Very apt post. I agree.. Just the way of the world I guess. To late for me to change so I guess like all the other nice guys on here I will continue to finish last (for now) | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 7:15:00 AM | | I finished last for a long time but finally found one who appreciated me....now i am happier than i have ever been. Last five years have been amazing! Nice guys.....don't let your hopes die. | |
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tenar
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Joined: 9/3/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:06:06 AM | That was beautiful and very touching.
I agree with greanize there are several ladies out there in the same position of finishing last as well. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:10:10 AM | no idea if im nice or not....been called a variety of things both positive and negative in my life.....but what i do know is.....i dont really compete...so i never finish last....granted...never come in first either.... | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:29:00 AM | Ummm Cracked didn't you post this exact thread a little while ago?
Seems awfully familiar. Maybe on the global forums?
I'm a nice guy. A really nice guy. but I'm also not a doormat. Some of what you describe is just that. The key thing I've found to be the greatest lure to women is self confidence.
From the pic of you in a uniform and the stripes you should have that in spades but your post sounds like all the other whiney posts from guys who lack confidence in themselves and project that failure on the women who reject them. I do know that military command does not translate well when it comes to women.
Yes there are truly stupid women out there just as there are stupid men. Maybe you've run into those who haven't realized your strength of character.
This is food for thought guys.
Every one of you has seen the truly ugly guy walking into the bar or down the street with the 10 on his arm. Am I right? You know I am.
What is it that made him that attractive to that women.
Money? Maybe.
Well endowed ? Could be.
She's blind? I doubt it.
Super confident? You bet your a$$ he is! | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:29:22 AM | the thing about nice guys ,,, its true ,, most finish last , that dreaded word BUT gets used and guys cant stand that
when im out at a party i'd rather be known as the cool /nice/edgy guy that women would come and talk to,, heck , ive been lucky because it happens a lot ,but at the same time when a woman says " hey i think you are a really nice guy" its almost like i have to jump to the defensive,, when are really nice guys going to get it
most of you tend to go after your complete opposites and then end up being frustrated because you cant get what you want ,, NOW THIS im not knocking you nice guys,,, what im saying is that put a little edge in what you do ,, be a bit unavailable,,, snobby,, read a few books that might change your perspective on life a little
the nice guy rule - there is none , i cant even tell you that i know one single woman out there that would date a really nice guy unless he had an edge to him
heck ,, maybe im a little frustrated
I USED TO BE A REALLY NICE GUY , AND IT GOT ME TRUST, RESPECT,HONOUR, LOYALTY,
but in the intimacy department , it only got me as far as a second date ,, i changed and so should you other completly nice guys | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:50:04 AM | | Unfortunatly i have to agree with ma-che-fai -tu but it's not in my nature to do so as for it would mean being somthing im not so I will just keep faith in finding the right one and be paitiant | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:52:47 AM |
I'm a nice guy. A really nice guy. but I'm also not a doormat. Some of what you describe is just that.
bingo!
the kind of "nice guy" described in the OP isn't the kind of person i'd even want as a friend. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:52:48 AM | There are both sets of gender that fit into this mold, and the mold is a true friend, no expectations. I sounds like you really like the girl? have you ever told her, or do you just sit on the sidelines waiting for her to fall and come to you as that is your only connection? I agree with Greansie, and it happens to the best of us. Been there done that I guess. But I will tell you this, I was that friend once, and went out with the guy only to have our friends lump us together as a couple. we hung out constantly, calling each other after work, chumming around, but when the word "couple" was thrown out, I was like....not a chance. It was only when this person vacated my life for a short time because of something I did, did I realize what a great guy he was and I missed him....hello! lightbulb goes on!. anyway, we ended up together, getting married and spent 20 great years together, best friends all the way, until it just wasnt working. This person is still my best friend and we help each other out when needed. Was a truely great basis for a life long relationship.
However, I seem to have been on the other side of the coin as well. Always being there for a person I care about, get along great, can talk for hours and hours and laugh all the way. But you realize that you will never be "the one" for them that you need to move on and stop being there for them to hurt. | |
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w82b
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Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 17 | |
| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 8:58:53 AM | There are nice women out there. I'll be patient and wait for the right person to cross my path. In the meantime I will not date women who had enough of the "Bad Boys" and is now seeking to settle with a nice guy.... it's too late.
I've witnessed and experienced too much to avail myself for women who finally tire out. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:03:11 AM | | yea there r nice ppl. i came to realize that the reason i'm single is cause i'll admit i'm very picky but not on looks ....... there soul | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:06:50 AM | You only finish last if you choose to. The whole nice guys finish last statement is a cop-out; if you are confident in the fact that you are a good person and believe in yourself you have nothing to worry about.
You don't have to be an a-hole to be attractive to the opposite sex, be yourself and don't continually try to change to meet the expectation you think the other person is looking for. The least attractive thing to me is someone who has no direction of their own and always agrees with what I am saying; I like the fact that someone has their own opinion, likes, dislikes etc and is confident enough to have a backbone about it. Based on my experience I think most women feel the same way and when someone backs down from what they think about something under the guise of being nice it comes across as weak; most people want to be around someone that is going to challenge them intelectually and show passion in what they believe not cave into everything they say.
That is my $0.02 | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:18:09 AM | There is nothing wrong with being nice. Again with everything, there is a time and a place. Nobody wants the really nice guy with no backbone. You still have to take control at times as said before, confidence and body language are the key. If a girl has no backbone, then I can't respect her. It's the same for girls.
I was actually talking to someone last week in this issue. A girl married a guy that was just her friend and never really though of him in that way. But now she is happy. I wonder what barrier was broken to alow that to happen.
Confidence breaks barriers. Sometimes that is all you need to do to get the ball rolling. Some people are attracted to whats bad for them, so show a little bad. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't change who you are. If they don't like you for who you are, then they can hit the road anyway. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:21:40 AM | | I was raised to be a good person and trying to shake that now would be rather pointless. I have no idea what the real "nice guy" definition would be...but I would hardly think "weak" would be in the term. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:50:30 AM | | I don't agree with ma-che-fai-tu. You should never have to change yourself to get a date. If things do not work out it is for a reason, by changing yourself you may just be stalling the not working out part. You might as well be yourself. I see many people on the threads complaining about being a nice guy and not getting interest because of it. Just by posting that, somehow to me makes you look a little desperate. I honestly think if you had a little more pride you would never complain or do such a thing. It just seems like you are throwing a cry for help out there in hopes of someone coming to your aid. Which is a big turn off for many women. Just relax, don't complain, stay postive and your time will come. Just becuase a girl flirts with you a few times here does not mean follow her posts for the next week and flirt with her in every opportunity, eventually she will se you as desperate and move on to someone that looks a little less desperate. Not saying, not to flirt, but do it in a nice way just to get he attention a little. Don't lay all of yourself out there right away, a little mystery goes along way. Also, then envy factor. A girl does not want you to envy her, she wants an equal. Or someone that they can kind of envy. Not someone that would belittle himself in any way to get her attention. You can not nice someone in to liking you, it comes from mutual respect, confidence and a need for wanting to know more about each other. Also, the women are not blind on here, women do read other threads, so if you are constantly throwing yourself at every women on here, you will be looked at as desperate too. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, are you one?
Posted: 11/6/2005 9:59:00 AM | You can only finish last if you're in a race. My running days are over.
If I see one more thread about some guy crying that he's so nice I'm going puke. What's wrong with just being nice and not wanting anything back for it. Geez
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