| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/8/2005 9:23:21 PM | that is a question i would truly like to hear some opinions on.i am 34 and never been married and i feel normal.i just do not seem to attract the kind of women i would want to spend the rest of my life with as of yet.am i too picky?no,i don't think so.do i think some women are out of my league?yes,i do and that may be a problem.do i think some women are leery or scared of a guy like me who has never been married?yes, but i only met women who are married currently who seem to feel that way.do women that are divorced feel that way towards a guy like me? what do other men think about this question?
love to hear from some of the women on this site please.
thank you
Andrew - AKA Cactuswop | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/8/2005 10:59:27 PM | | hi! I'm 38, never been married ; no kids. I'm definately not leery of guys like you! I think some people figure that if you are in your 30's and haven't reached that stage...... that means you don't want to. I've had plenty of people just assume that I'm still single because i choose to be. I'd rather be single than be with the wrong person; but I'd rather be married to the right one. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/8/2005 11:02:52 PM | | Ive got to agree with chinua.... Im in the same boat.. 36 and never been married.. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that... why settle just because..?? Im very happy being on my own.....although to find that special someone , would be a treat !! | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/8/2005 11:28:40 PM | I admit when I see a guy or gal over 30 I pause to think why but then again why not? Maybe those that have waited are smarter than those of us who married in our 20's & found 20 yrs later we should have waited. My brother is dating a woman who is 40, never been married(engaged 4 times) & no kids. They seem very happy(he's 50, divorcing w/ 2kids)). So it can work out irregardless of age.
Much good fortune to all of you of any age that are  .
Super-sized hugs,
D  | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/8/2005 11:41:10 PM | | Not ober 30, but I'll admit to be a little leery about a guy who's over 40 and has never been married or had children... I think experience can sometimes count~~ It's like graduating from college and getting your degree... It doesn't mean you'll get a great job to start with... Employers still want some experience~~ | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:18:54 AM | I'm 32 and never been married and don't have children either...rare anymore...but I didn't have them for a reason, not to say my relationships weren't long ones, just won't jump in too quick...hard to find men that have never been either too...I don't think it's bad at all...
Best of luck to you!!!  A sign that you're waiting for the RIGHT one, not just anyone.... | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:22:59 AM | | i am just the opposite of that now i fee that something is missing in my life ad it is not being with the woman that is my soulmate forever.kids ,well ican live with them or without them.that does not really matter to me.i have seen a few bad marriages in my life,my parents,who never slept in the same bed at all since i can remember.(then they separated and later divorced,my sister who married a lazy bum who did not want to work.my brother who the first time married a spoiled brat of a woman that was never happy with who he was,now his second marriage is working out better.that could be why i have hesitated and avoided relationships like that in the past.i was shy when i was younger and i was a little naive about expectations a relationship should have and not have. but now i am active in my search for the woman i want to be with the rest of my life.maybe that does make some leery.i have to admit that unless a woman in the same situation is very sucessful n her life i wonder why they are not married or at least if they are not in a relationship that makes me wonder why not? | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 2:37:12 AM | Maybe because they don't want to be...SOME ppl actually enjoy being single, or have the patience to wait for the right one. I think too many ppl get into relationships because they're just too affraid of being alone, or worried about what others will think if they are....and how long do those last then? I'd rather wait and know for sure....rather be alone for the right reasons then with someone for the wrong ones...   | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 3:12:39 AM | | I don't think that being over a certain age and never married would bother me but being over 40 and never having had a long term or serious relationship would make me think. I have been married but have been divorced and single for 9 years and I'm perfectly happy being single....however, my mother drives me nuts over it. Now that I am in my 40's she figures no man will want me....lol....if mother only knew!!!! | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 10:07:55 AM | thanks for all of your opinions.i appreciate that you took the time to respond to my questions.
i feel there is a hole in my life or a void without that long term relationship i really desire.i used to avoid commitment in all of my relationships.even with my good friends.i never stayed in touch with them and we would grow apart.i do not know why i am like that .but i kind of think i do.i do not totally trust people that i befriend or women that i love because everytime i have done so in the past they hurt me and it takes time to get over that.it could be the women and the people i have kept company with but i also think it is my lack of trust and faith in them.i am always waiting for them to do something to hurt me and i know now i am going to stop being this way and have faith in the goodness in people instead of looking for their bad.i think i may have figured out whyi am like that without even trying to do so.these forums do work one way or another.i believe that chatting with others and writing out your opinions and thoughts must help in figuring thigs out from time to time.thank you all again and good luck with finding what you are in search of.Andrew aka Cactuswop  | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 10:58:06 AM | | hey, i just hit my fifty's and never been married, and no kids. i have had some long term serious relationships though. for whatever reason, either i blew it, or they blew it, or both of us knowing that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. i can see where a woman would be a bit scepticle, but i wasn't going settle for anything less than what was right for me and her. i've had great relationships in the past, and hope to continue to have them. | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 3:21:25 PM | For me, not being married up until now, and for the foreseeable future, belive it or not was a matter of choice. After watching a lot of my friends marry their high school sweethearts, head off to the mines or the bush to go to work to support a family that for well over 70% of them is no longer there, I decided that I was going to head out of town, fold the mirrors in, never look back and develop myself first. One thing led to another, a couple of serious relationships in the middle, moved again, set up down here in Southern Ontario and life has never been better.
I've found that some women think that as we "age" into our thirties that we are lesser of a man as a result of a choice like that. Some embrace it. Have met many wonderful unmarried women who, like a lot of us have decided to get out "crap" together first, before deciding that it's time to meet that significant other.
I think some are leery of the confidence and independance that a lot of us have. Just an opinion based on what I"ve come across. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 6:10:22 PM | | Livewirehere....wtf.......are you saying that practice makes perfect? Are you kidding? How about the guys that actually made the right decisions and didnt settle for what looked like a grim future. And as far as no kids.....does that mean they should have kids without a wife...wtf.. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 8:29:22 PM | I've got a lot of friends who got married when they were in their early to mid 20's and they all seemed to give up too quickly and don't really communicate. Sometimes it was hard to figure out if they were actually married or just dating.
My friends who got married after 30 have all seemed to get along better and don't give up on the first sign of trouble.
When I was really young, I figured I'd be married by the time I was 23.....I'm glad I didn't...phew. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:08:10 PM | I just think someone who's never been married and never had children, and is going out with me personally, ((me)) who spent almost my whole adult life married and have 2 children, might not "get how I feel"... I honestly try to look for someone who's at least been married or in a long term relationship, and takes it as seriously as I did. Too many people do get married too young, and for the wrong reasons. I did once... I learned that time. The second time I was married for 19 years, and we're still best friends. No, life isn't perfect, but I'm going to still look for someone who has "staying power"... And, I believe sometimes you have to have been through something "fairly similar" to have that kind of conviction. I always ask people I go out with why they've never married. I guess it's hard for me to comprehend someone being, say 50 years old, and never, ever meeting someone they would want to marry>? So, yes, I"d ask, right up front.
I'm not lumping men, in general, together, so I hope you're not getting that impression. I"m sure there are guys out there who have never been married and would make a wonderful "long term" partner. I'm just not the "dating" type person.. And, there are some people who are, and who enjoy it their whole lives--just dating.. It's just not me. I'm only giving my "big mouth" opinion~~  | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/9/2005 9:42:07 PM | Hey Mustangsally1273, I saw your post, clicked on your profile, and typed you a message, but the system rejected it because I'm too young for you. So, I figured I'd post it here for you:
(subject: false advertising!)
Hey.... A picture of a 65 (?) convertable Mustang. So I immediately click on the profile, excited, just to find you don't own it?!?! Jeeeezzz.... What a let down.
You do understand that only a picture of a hot body turns a guy on more than a classic car, right? (A hot body lying on a classic car being the best of the best, of course)
Now I must deal with the disappointment. You have ruined my whole day, no, my whole week. My fantasy of finding a woman who owns my favorite car will never be fulfilled.
And to think, we would of hit it off well! Er... Uh... Once I got a camera and added my picture to my profile,
and immigrated to Canada.
Hey. A convertable would really suck up there, now that I think about it. Ok, then you'd have to come down here and become an American, vote Republican, support the war(s), ignore the environment, pay 10x as much for health care, talk shit about Canadians, etc. Wouldn't of been too much to ask, eigh?
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/10/2005 1:54:33 AM | I’m over 30 and have never been married or had kids sorry haven’t found a woman that fits into that situation yet ????? For me I pursued my career first didn’t have a lot of time for dating when I was younger and knew I couldn’t devote my time to being married and having a family. I did have a couple of LTR but I knew if marriage was to come so too would a family, bare in mind not the reason why those relationships ended! I made that decision and knew it was the right one because my father never had the time for me and I most certainly wouldn’t do that to my child. Now I am older set in my career and in more than a better position to settle down and actually contemplate marriage kids the whole 9 yards, lol. People like that should be looked down on? give me a break!!!!
To me anyone who would exclude someone or be highly suspicious of him or her because they haven’t married before a certain age is just ridiculous. I don’t understand these types of questions and opinions considering I have seen this type of question in other forums in one form or another. It seems to be such a narrow minded viewpoint and stance to take when attempting to meet someone. I can understand all of us formulating opinions from peoples profiles and personal life experiences but to exclude them for that type of reason without getting to know them and finding out all the facts and answers, come on what the hell is that? Again, I might form a preconceived notion of someone based on certain things in their profile but I would certainly value MORE the actual interaction with that person, seeing if I click with them and enjoy their company. I have had my opinions changed good and bad more than once after talking and getting to know someone rather than relying on stupid ideas like: “God that girl just can’t be right or good to date because she is over 30 and never married … better steer clear of her!”, “God that girl has 3 kids and has been divorced twice!!!! Yikes better run she can’t be a keeper”, “No way dude she is 30 and doesn’t want kids must be something wrong with her!”. It really amazes me how people can only see things in black and white right or wrong when there are so many gray areas in our lives. Situations and people should be judged on individual basis not some stereotyping ideal. Get to know someone before you cast them away so easily, you could be missing out on a lot.
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/10/2005 6:53:12 AM | I'd only be leary... if he lives at home with his parents or mother and has NEVER been on his own.... never had any relationships.......
We're all single for a reason... choices we've made..... careers and not concentrating on meeting people..... or just being immature..... I'm sure there are many many other reasons...
I'd rather meet a man that is 34 and never been married then one that has been married 3x and hates women....... or has kids with an ex that they DO NOT get along.... Kids are the baggage..t he exes are!
There is Nothing wrong with being single at 34...........now I'm 38!!! There's a problem!!! LOL | |
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chinua
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Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 22 | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/10/2005 11:40:18 AM | | I have no problem with a guy who has never been married or doesn't have kids. Relationships come in many forms. The no kids thing is actually a bonus as far as I'm concerned. I don't have any kids and like it when they don't as well. It gets difficult and complicated when they want to do things with me but half their paycheque goes to child support so they can't afford to. Still, it's better than them being a deadbeat dad. | |
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| are women leery of guys over 30 who have never been married?
Posted: 11/10/2005 2:14:07 PM | Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't really like to date guys who never been married or in a long term relationship..
I have been married before so i feel I know what a relationship entails....the hard work commitments etc...I feel guys who are in 30's and have never settled down are players.. and not worth my time....I have yet to be proven wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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