| | Sexual compatibilityPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | We all have different kinks.
Some like food, some like swinging, some like pain, some like bi-sexuality.
I am not trying to start a debate on which kinks are correct or which are not.
I would rather like to ask when you feel is an appropriate time to talk kink.
Should we be defining it more in our profiles, or should we keep them hidden until we have slept with a person a few times.
If we do not speak of them upfront are we lying, and if we do are we simply perverted?
Sexual compatibility is an important aspect of our lives, yet when meeting someone new, how do we go about discussing it without being offensive or politicaly incorrect? | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:10:37 PM | kinks, fetishes, and other "less than mainstream" things are things that i think should be brought up gradually...
...at least that's what i do...other than the light bondage...just about everyone's into that...so i'm not really too worried about the one pic of me with cuffs... | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:16:17 PM | OOoo... tough call on that one, and good question.
Personally, I think it's a mood and / or specific preference on when and how to do so. Basically, how are things with you both? Are you both open to that topic?
I mean... talking to someone like Vertigo or nrk, you're likely able to get a fairly open discussion reasonably soon as to preferences.. whereas talking to someone like mysticeyes4you or ya472, you're likely gonna have a difficult time easily establishing specific preferences, as they're both not as apparently open.
I think it all comes down to whether there's a connection and comfort level between said partners.
**NOTE** These are just examples as based on minimal knowledge of people listed. And, only based on what I can guess on by reading their posts in the forums. Not passing judgement, only saying that's what it LOOKS like. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:19:00 PM | But if we bring it up gradually are we not then misleading?
Is ommision of the truth not another form of lie?
Also I must disagree with the comment on light bondage, some are very much against it.
But how do we know this unless we discuss it? | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:20:54 PM | an omission of truth is not a lie.
when i had hair, i didn't tell people i have a birthmark on the right side of my head. at the same time, i didn't say it wasn't there either...
did i lie about it? | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:23:05 PM | I seem to be very compatible with my hands,even when they fall asleep.. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:25:26 PM | | Honestly guys, what are the signals that you're getting? Is the partner in question open to such discussions or are they gonna freak? If you can't tell, test the waters. Big toe in first...see what kind of response you get. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 11/9/2005 1:28:04 PM | im pretty open and upfront about what interests me
the last thing i would want would be to totally like a person, have slept with them a few times and had sexual chemistry
and then not be able to have your "alternative fun" now and then
boundaries are very good to set from the beginning | |
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| | Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Sexual compatibility well when there comes a time
Posted: 12/17/2005 6:15:02 PM | When you finally find the special someone ,i think that then you both will discuss what your compatibilities are, it takes time to adjust to each other and its something you both can work at.nothing is perfect and my friend told me,something that sounds true.If you find that person thats half the fun of learning about .keeping each other happy and connecting during intimacy. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 7:13:30 PM | Lots of past threads popping up....
It's not much of a contribution, but I think "testing" the waters at some point after meeting is a safe way, kind of joking but in a 'could be serious' manner, and see how the other reacts. One could also bring up shows on TV that focus on the area that you're interested in and see how the person responds. You could always suggest attending the annual Vancouver show together, that counts as 'educational'. I do think there are ways to talk about it in a non-offensive manner, but even then you may still offend someone. If the language is non-offensive, the person has said they are interested in hearing about your experience(s), and you are interested in what the other person has to say/what works for them, it likely reduces the chance of offending. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 7:14:30 PM |
im pretty open and upfront about what interests me
the last thing i would want would be to totally like a person, have slept with them a few times and had sexual chemistry
and then not be able to have your "alternative fun" now and then
boundaries are very good to set from the beginning
I agree with Intertainment. I've actually been in a situation, where a guy introduced me to his fetishes bit by bit, because he was afraid of freaking me out....problem was, by that time, we had slept together several times and I really liked the guy, so I ended up going out with him for several months, but ultimately I ended it, because I wasn't being true to me.
I think the point to bring this up, is the same point when, you might be discussing sexual history i.e. before you sleep with them, but after you've established chemistry. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 7:25:41 PM | | I move towards my desires in an unobtrusive way pending the situation,,, I've met some extreme on the outside but never have guessed reserved on the inside people and then the complete opposite. One persons Pleasure is sometimes another persons Hang-Up. Comme si Comme sa or however you spell it. Sometimes people are a damn fine fit,,,, | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 7:28:31 PM | I think it all depends on how important your kinks are to you.
If you feel it's imperative to have kink in your life, I'd say you'd better let that person know what you're all about from the get go- as soon as you start becoming sexually involved. Otherwise, you're basically leading them on with only the hopes that they will accept your kinks.
If your kinkiness isn't so entrenched and you'd be happy with a vanilla sex life with the right person, then I'd say you could introduce your alternative desires a bit at a time and see how your partner responds. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 7:39:54 PM | Tell it like it is!! I do !! then you dont waist emotional time on someone who isnt into what you are! Once in a while is a game, but always is a fettish or need! Let them know whether you want to "try" something, or if you cant do without it! Big difference! | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:35:11 PM | I think it all depends on how important your kinks are to you.
Good point, SusieDee! In my situation, it was the only way he could get off, but unfortunately it didn't work for me, so I had to make a choice. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:37:56 PM | i will tell all to who i want to know
other then that no one will know
unless i tell...
omg......i need another...lol.... | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/17/2005 9:50:50 PM | Being the one without any real fetishes, but being very aware of other peoples, I will bring it up fairly soon, as the conversation goes along. I want to know this person - eventually everything - so finding out about their fetishes - especially any that I can't live with, and they can't live without, is pretty important.
Almost as important as how they squeeze the toothpaste tube and hang the TP on the roller (if they do at all). | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/18/2005 1:56:35 AM | the toothpaste is squeezed anywhere, so long as you push it towards the end and the paste comes out the little hole. i couldn't date a girl who squeezed it out of the other end.
and TP goes *over* the roll. under-people are just weird.
speaking of which...did you know most people who put it over the roll are "folders", most people who put it under are "bunchers"...and just about every person who doesn't care is a "buncher". interesting little factoid. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/18/2005 2:44:42 AM | So long as the TP makes it on the roll...we're good. ?Buncher? hmmm...interesting thought?
Toothpaste...from the end up...roll that end..so it slides out...
Compatiblility...talk about it...try it...enjoy it...all good...just do it often... | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/18/2005 9:45:59 AM |
speaking of which...did you know most people who put it over the roll are "folders", most people who put it under are "bunchers"...and just about every person who doesn't care is a "buncher". interesting little factoid.
hahaha OMG this is probably true! no longer can we admit to over or under or folks will know if were are part of the bunch of not hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thanks for the the morning laugh. Man I missed not being able to post! | |
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| | Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 12/30/2005 7:35:05 PM | | Well i guess when you meet the right person,you hope they would let you know if they are into something different before you get behind closed doors,lol and then wham you find out they want to do something you dont have any darn idea what they are talking about or scared they would tie you up at the bedposts and leave you there after for awhile,lol.omg its hard enough when the time comes up to discuss having sex let alone asking specifics,im shy and hope to god,i dont end up one day with someone that wants to hang from the chandelair'' lol.hopefully you would be able to find out before hand and talk to them re concerns of say fantasies or whatever.to each his own behind closed doors but i hate surprises ,if im not sure what the guy has in mind. | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 5/16/2006 12:46:12 PM | I would tell it like it is... as..... honestly is the number one rule in my books..
my 2 cent's for the day... | |
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| Sexual compatibility
Posted: 5/16/2006 12:47:45 PM | hmm...sexual compatability...
I have boy part...you have girl part....yep it fits..
We are compatible.. | |
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